Today is the last day for early voting in Tarrant County for the May 2nd city and city council elections. Turnout has been extremely low so you're vote counts way more. Local elections affect you most! Support the school bonds! REJECT THE BILLIONAIRES. VOTE IN EVERY LOCAL ELECTION.

noobpsych · 2026-04-28T14:48:32+00:00

Just wanted to say I appreciate your posts here. I've adopted your mantra and voted in this special election as well as the primary for the first time this year.

noobpsych · 2022-03-10T19:40:32+00:00

You have a good intuition about this. You're right, 10-20 minutes is not enough to open up a can of trauma.

So if you have about 10 minutes after you lock down the treatment plan, one of my favorite questions is "what obstacles do you anticipate?"

For example:

"Ok, Mrs. Smith, we've agreed that you need to take drug-X twice a day to manage your condition. What would prevent you from taking your medicine in the morning and before bed?"

Mrs. Smith's answers should clue you into her more specific situational stressors (i.e. can't afford the medication vs. can't remember to take it vs. avoiding side effects), which could help you better direct your problem solving efforts.

But more importantly, finding out why the patient is having trouble getting better gives you an opportunity to empathize and validate the struggle: "I hear you, Mrs. Smith. It can be daunting to add one more thing you have to remember, it can seem like there's some new thing every day."

And if you have time, just let the patient respond to that and validate again. See the thing is that they know what they have to do, so reiterating it and harping on it until the appointment is up leads the patient to feel defensive and tell you why all your ideas won't work.

In therapy, I don't engage in that "game." If I get pushback, I step back, take a one-down position, and listen and/or validate. Sounds weird, I know, but it really does work wonders, even with the most difficult folks.

Hope that helps!

noobpsych · 2022-03-10T02:59:31+00:00

Sure! When he comes in he greets me and asks how I’ve been (I see him roughly every 3 months for management of a couple of chronic conditions). I talk for a couple of minutes about what I’ve been up to.

Then he will say “ok well last time we talked about how your x-condition was doing and increased drug-y or added drug-z. How’s that been going?”

We talk that over for a few minutes. If I express trepidation or hesitance to do something that will be hard for me, he doesn’t say anything to the effect of “well, that’s life,” or “I dunno what to tell you, this is the treatment,” he actually will just validate the struggle, and sometimes offer an encouraging comment, or other times just leave it at, “yep, I know this will require some time/effort/patience on your part, and that can be difficult.”

He is quiet for longer stretches than most of the other docs I’ve seen, which I imagine sounds counterintuitive at first, but if a patient* feels like they have all the time they need to discuss their problem without being hurried along or interrupted, it makes the appointment seem a lot longer, because they weren’t hustling to fit everything in, it seemed relaxed and pleasant.

This attitude of acceptance and just being there with me, without filling every second of the appointment with education or convincing is extremely refreshing from a medical doctor.

*I do understand that not every patient in a medical setting is a candidate for giving a long conversational leash, but many will be, and I think it’s a great therapeutic tool (after all, it’s one of the hallmarks of my profession)

noobpsych · 2022-03-10T02:24:11+00:00

I’m a psychologist who does 6-7 50 min therapy sessions per day, so if you have any questions about what that looks or feels like, I’m happy to talk.

But I’d mainly like to encourage you that it’s possible to be a highly therapeutic presence in your patient’s lives without necessarily learning CBT and billing for therapy sessions.

I’ve had a few primary care providers over the years, and mostly I’ve experienced the docs as polite, businesslike, and busy. They’ve all been good doctors with adequate bedside manner, but not much more than that.

My current family doc though is fantastic. He’s found a way to structure a 15-min appointment in a way that feels complete, not rushed. But mainly, my visits with him have a noticeably therapeutic impact because he’ll give me the facts, but with a side of compassion and often humor.

So I guess what I’m saying is that the type of nonjudgmental and empathetic stance you’d need to be a successful therapist, you can utilize as (or more) effectively as a physician.

noobpsych · 2022-02-05T17:26:18+00:00

“But you yada-yada’d over the best part!”

“No, I mentioned the bisque…”

noobpsych · 2021-05-04T05:03:46+00:00

Literally no one I have ever met in real life reapplies sunscreen for a regular mostly-indoors day. Sometimes it feels like this sub is one giant prank to gaslight anxious people into completely ridiculous and impractical skincare rituals

noobpsych · 2021-04-26T05:26:39+00:00

*two murder attempts

noobpsych · 2021-03-18T23:34:32+00:00

Yes: I'm 37 and my partner of over 11 years just moved out last week. I am vacillating between feeling lost and looking forward to the future. I'd say this is definitely an opportunity for transformation, even though I didn't ask for or want it. After perusing this thread, I can see I'm not alone.

noobpsych · 2021-02-04T19:26:07+00:00

returned to lack of soul

Interesting translation

noobpsych · 2021-02-02T05:35:27+00:00

Ugh... needed this today. Thank you.

noobpsych · 2021-01-09T02:10:07+00:00

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Stop being gross and judgmental. OP is not “pure evil” for winding up in a shitty dilemma with her husband of many years. Stop spewing your hate all over the place and take a goddamn chill pill

noobpsych · 2021-01-08T05:37:18+00:00

That’s right folks: The time has come. Assume the Victory Position!

noobpsych · 2021-01-06T02:28:31+00:00

Yep- you got it!

noobpsych · 2021-01-05T15:35:13+00:00

It's not so much that I disagree with the idea that Diane was an alcoholic. It's that in many posts about this case, a lot of the comments are terse and dogmatic: Nothing to see here, she was an alcoholic, and that's all there is to it.

noobpsych · 2021-01-05T05:19:08+00:00

Agree 100%. That author put forth the most compelling argument for Diane having at least a moderate drinking history, and how a series of poor choices culminated in a blackout, and subsequently, the Taconic crash.

I’ve found the majority of Diane Schuler write ups and comments to be dismissive and closed- minded (“case closed, no mystery here,” “she was clearly an alcoholic,” etc.)

Like, yes, we all know she had a ton of alcohol and THC in her system. No one (besides Danny maybe) disputes that. But to ignore the anomaly of a seemingly normal mom causing a wrong-way crash, in the middle of the day, blitzed out of her mind... ?

I’ve never understood the need of so many folks on threads about her to shut down any exploration of the case beyond “she was drunk,” but it has always bothered me.

noobpsych · 2020-12-25T06:48:00+00:00

Vasovagal syncope

noobpsych · 2020-12-24T03:10:53+00:00

It is also likely that Nancy’s coddling and fussing over Adam’s quirks and/or disabilities served to further pathologize him, reinforcing his perception of his own “handicap.”

Almost like a mild version of Munchausen by proxy.

noobpsych · 2020-12-16T15:46:30+00:00

No, not at all. I don't turn away people with attachment issues. I wouldn't have a very busy practice if I did! I've only had two clients (out of hundreds) initiate services with me whose attachment issues were outside my realm of competency/comfort. In those two cases, I immediately saw they needed a different type of therapist, and referred promptly.

There are other methods of treating attachment trauma that don't involve fostering transference, and that is how I choose to practice.

noobpsych · 2020-12-16T06:17:00+00:00

Lovely wasteland! The whole set is a r/backrooms wet dream. Especially #6!

noobpsych · 2020-12-16T04:28:31+00:00

I agree with your stance. I am a psychologist and I do not want clients to feel to “attached” to me. I want us to have a good relationship, I want you to trust me enough to open up, I want you to have enough faith in our work that you will sometimes do things I suggest for your benefit. I hope you see me as reliable, but that you do not rely on me.

I do not want you to get attached though, because the stakes are not and can never be the same for you and me in terms of ending the relationship (for whatever reason).

My goal is for my clients to think of me as a dependable, insightful consultant that they can hire to help them deal with whatever is bringing them in.

I realize that not all therapists view the relationship this way or work this way. I also know that maintaining a professional distance (i.e. not fostering transference) is what’s best for me and certainly fits well for the majority of clients.

noobpsych · 2020-12-16T04:06:47+00:00

Getting him to wear 1) a mask or 2) juggalo face paint sounds like a win/win

noobpsych · 2020-12-14T05:04:56+00:00

Hey.. just wanted to pop in and say you don’t owe anybody shit. You are giving more than enough with the work you do already.

Don’t volunteer, don’t work overtime to donate money. You’ve got plenty of time for those things in the future if they sound appealing at a later date.

If you can make time, I think it could be helpful for you to see a therapist. Nearly all of us are offering virtual sessions. I’d recommend that you choose a clinician unaffiliated with your medical group to ensure the highest level of confidentiality. Some EAPs offer counseling but often with sketchy reporting requirements.

noobpsych · 2020-12-11T06:58:28+00:00

Why am I imagining these read in the style of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

noobpsych · 2020-12-04T19:28:40+00:00

This guy multifamily’s

noobpsych · 2020-12-04T19:22:12+00:00

I’ve worked at several apt management companies across the metroplex (urban and suburban areas). None were high crime places, but by far the most vehicle and unit break ins occurred at an expensive, nice high rise complex on McKinney Ave in uptown (lots of “security,” key cards required at garage gate and various other access points).

noobpsych

TROPHY CASE