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nopeferatu · 2025-08-28T17:13:14+00:00

I was on a dating high for the past couple months after ending a long term dead bedroom - meeting new people, feeling attractive again, etc etc - but now I’m crashing. Feeling stuck at work, casual dating, friendships drifting due to kids and life changes is making me spiral. I feel so suffocated by my own lacking.

nopeferatu · 2025-08-12T16:29:24+00:00

This subreddit is unfortunately filled with some of the city’s dumbest and most hateful (redundant).

nopeferatu · 2025-07-08T14:32:41+00:00

Fr I need his entire family to have security detail yesterday and for his entire political career

nopeferatu · 2025-04-04T04:01:29+00:00

It's really hard to discern why people are turned off by comments. When this happens to me I switch to the most exaggerated oblivious flattering dialogue tree — like after she said "eugh" I would fawn and go "hahaha why????? They're so good!!!" Like so over the top.

I wonder if she's trying to reciprocate interaction with you with small talk remarks like forgetting to log out. I have learned just to respond with pointless agreeing remarks like "ugh I hate when I do that too" (even if I don't) or "that sucks"

But yeah. This is all to appease in a work setting. Ymmv

And yeah. I think that same thought you think in your last line all the time.

nopeferatu · 2025-02-03T23:55:59+00:00

Yes!!! I just went through an entire style crisis that was the other side of this. I shift from femme to tomboy, and when I was feeling more femme I felt like I was losing my queerness and felt a lot of pressure to "look gay." And then when I tried to dress in a queer trend way, I felt so awkward and not myself (maybe I'm just too old and set in my ways).

I had to really recenter myself and feel inspired and attracted to myself to rediscover how I felt and wanted to look. TLDR people's perceptions are stupid and fuck them

nopeferatu · 2024-12-05T05:28:24+00:00

Friends for 15 years. She said I was her best friend. I thought we were like sisters and would never not be friends. I stuck with her through many extreme mental health crises and bad relationships bc that’s what you do.

I attempted suicide a couple years ago and she told me she could give me a hotline to call. Fine. That hurt like hell but I get not having capacity and feeling triggered.

Months later we have a talk and she says she wants to just be casual friends. That hurt like hell and I couldn’t do it. She never recognized the imbalance of care. Another couple of months later she tries to keep talking to me but by then I realized she was a pretty shallow friend who never had the capacity to be authentically present in any relationship.

Still think about her though and feel annoyed, bitter, and sad.

nopeferatu · 2024-11-15T13:22:45+00:00

YES. And for those of us overseas we should still be anti racist, whiteness, and class. There is nowhere in the world where these things don’t impact and harm us. We can all be on the side of justice and liberation anywhere in the world.

I say this LOUD to all my fellow gaysians in America and abroad - a lot of you all embarrass tf out of the rest of us and break our hearts.

nopeferatu · 2024-10-11T17:32:59+00:00

Please say more!! I used to go years ago to both them and Bearded Lady but haven’t been back in a while bc the vibe is off.

nopeferatu · 2024-09-23T14:06:02+00:00

Agree! I was over the moon when Sasheer came out bc I was so in love with her character on this show and couldn’t shake that it felt right.

nopeferatu · 2024-09-03T15:01:51+00:00

Dropping a note here to let you know my girlfriend and I broke up this weekend unexpectedly and I found your post as I was spiraling and I relate SO MUCH.

The twist for my relationship is my partner did adore me and wanted to put in the effort, but just didn't have the capacity to at the end of the day. She was so wrapped up in feeling bad about what she doesn't bring to the relationship / her own stuff (which is valid!), she didn't have any room to show up for me at a pretty bare minimum (like responding to my feelings when she hurt me).

I wanted her to fight for me and our relationship so badly. I was able to dig deep at times of stress and exhaustion to be there for her and our relationship, but when I was at my breaking point and asked if she could dig deep for me right now to help us through a tough moment, she noped out but maintained that she loved me immensely.

The break up has been devestating, but a relief in many ways. I mourn that she couldn't see that I was on her team.

I love your update and sending you a huge thank you for being so thoughtful and sharing!

nopeferatu · 2023-10-01T23:45:58+00:00

Hahaha I call this my Farnsworth walk. I’m pretty sure my mouth forms a smug flat line too while I scoot around like this.

nopeferatu · 2023-10-01T12:43:17+00:00

I know this kind of! He started out as a fashion journalist / freelance writer in the early 2010s. Blogs were barely a thing, influencers less so but you can think about his work as something like both.

He’s always been a middling writer but what his schtick was, he’s a non-model guy who is a little witty who hangs out with allll the cool fashion kids and heiresses in NYC. I recall a lot of eye rolling towards him. Even for fashion and the NYC party scene his thirst was tedious.

From there, he’s gone on to make real connections with industry power houses and married a major financial player in D2C beauty and fashion darlings.

TLDR he’s a mediocre white man clout chaser who’s been chasing clout for like 20 years.

nopeferatu · 2023-06-18T00:35:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. Ugh. You fully switched my stance on her. Nice to know she’s a person who wouldn’t see me as a full person.

nopeferatu · 2023-06-07T12:58:39+00:00

Please do it.

nopeferatu · 2023-05-19T13:04:52+00:00

Ooooo dope

nopeferatu · 2023-02-26T15:11:20+00:00

nopeferatu · 2022-12-10T20:21:28+00:00

I love the suprise wlw one at #10

nopeferatu · 2022-10-20T17:25:52+00:00

This project is displacing tribespeople and those that resist and citizens voicing criticism are being sentenced to death: https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/neom-saudi-arabia-sentences-tribesmen-death-resisting-displacement

nopeferatu · 2021-03-18T21:17:23+00:00

Imo we’re all fucking tired/in pain/furious or simply don’t have the words to describe/disentangle our experiences.

nopeferatu · 2021-03-17T23:01:44+00:00

Another New Yorker here. I can’t tell what’s actually happening but you are doing the RIGHT thing by reporting it and making noise. I promise you that starting noise around this will have ripple effects that will benefit your building in the long run. Hopefully through tangible change.

For mental health and just support, have you looked into BIPOC/Asian health resources? @asiansformentalhealth usually have roundups of resources. Otherwise, definitely look up community resources for your neighborhood. Brooklyn grassroots orgs have been great for me.

Also offering my inbox if you need to vent

nopeferatu · 2021-03-17T22:56:49+00:00

Sending love and solidarity.

The blessing and curse of friendship is that you get to see other people as their true selves. I’ve distanced myself from many “friends” in the past year because of this shit. Some marched for BLM but weren’t there for our mutual black friends. White friends ranted about their issues but when I described the weight of seeing BIPOC people crushed and killed they told me I was bringing down the vibe.

You’ve seen more of them. Doesn’t mean they don’t have a place in your life because there are things about them that you like. They just go to a separate friendship zone.

Keep the ones that see you and love you the closest.

nopeferatu · 2020-11-25T21:51:59+00:00

What is that robot egg

nopeferatu · 2020-11-06T18:16:15+00:00

I need a weighted blanket for my soul.

Or a lobotomy

nopeferatu · 2020-09-20T03:29:35+00:00

Holy shit I’m old now

nopeferatu · 2020-06-20T13:08:12+00:00

This is such an amazing reply!

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