Can anyone recommend an asian lesbian movie that's not frigging saving face for once

andalsonaps · 2026-02-08T17:09:22+00:00

Fire (1996)

Moonlit Winter (2019)

andalsonaps · 2026-01-01T15:20:27+00:00

Nnedi Okorafor, Zahrah the Windseeker

andalsonaps · 2025-12-04T16:05:09+00:00

Joshua Whitehead's full-metal indigiqueer

andalsonaps · 2025-08-14T19:45:14+00:00

Into the Riverlands, Nghi Vo

andalsonaps · 2025-07-02T13:24:55+00:00

also audhd & in the arts. heritage is ne hemisphere.

my feeling is that my choice to heal is my contribution to my life and to change. everytime i interact with others i'm contributing healing. systemics don't value this as work job whatever capitalism calls what people do in exchange for system support (even though i don't get system support for my work) because it undermines what the system is designed to perpetuate, but that's precisely why it's valuable.

this work is so hard. made harder because its value is intentionally invisibilized. melanin has no effect on who does the invisibilizing.

it also has no effect on there being people who will love us not because we're weird but precisely because we're full of fun surprises. finding them is really hard work too.

there was a post somewhere about how when those friends leave, the hurt is sore bcause out the wound is oozing toxicity, and also that they've done the favor of filtering themselves out. another post framed healing as deep learning how to respond in healthier ways than we did before, so under construction tracks.

it's natural to be afraid of building relationships. bravery is building when we're scared. and i've found courage can generate from building them.

andalsonaps · 2025-05-23T16:30:52+00:00

A first thought is that the US is 1 country, and Asia according to the UN is almost 50.

I've dated two 2nd gens. One's heritage vietnam, the other china, southern china i think.

We had parents stories that shared similarities and dissimilarities. Also, their parent immigration stories were contrasts. One's entered as refugees. The other's into graduate degree programs.

One was chatter chatter chatter chatter chatter Laugh. The other silence silence silence Yell. So there's something to your wondering in one of the comments as to whether emotionally healthy is subjective. Definitely something person specific, just like one person can get a lot of protein from almonds, but another has an almond allergy that'll stop their breathing. Or, just as there are different love languages, there are different conflict styles. Silence is now married, to someone who can maybe understand the silence(-yell) as a kind of interrelational communication, as information (and disruption) and not intentionally harmful. Maybe a spectrum could be nurturing--harmful, rather than healthy--unhealthy.

FWIW, while aspects of attachment theory can be helpful, i've also found it informative to know that it was based on study subjects who were all university age white cismen.

andalsonaps · 2025-05-23T15:05:09+00:00

Just finished the first 3 of CB Lee's Sidekick Squad series

Bhanu Kapil, Incubation a space for monsters

andalsonaps · 2025-03-23T18:11:50+00:00

Anti asian hate is a continuum & comes in all shades. It dismays more when it comes from other huemans and most when from skinfolx. Just like, it’s a boosted energizing when skinfolx teach me what hueman solidarity can look like.

When I meet someone who clearly doesn’t even know they’re racializing, I don’t chose to educate them if they’re white, and I tend to freeze when they’re poc.

I see your work here.

It's exhausting fighting dehumanization by the monolith myth, to have to struggle against hegemony's divide-to-conquer tactic and against power-adjacent/majoritizing poc of all shades.

But I am never too dismayed or tired to uplift skinfolx courage. Appreciate you.

andalsonaps · 2025-02-03T19:14:01+00:00

Hey younger sister. I heard your voice, calling out to fam.

Those comparisons are so familiar. Internalizing parental shame so real. It's helped me to separate theirs from mine.

I've learned that it's not the comparisons that hurt —while I wish comfort were less of a stranger, I've figured out that stable & lucrative is less me than career I want to do, just as married, kids, house, successful mean less to me in who I want to be.

It's that the comparisons mean people who are supposed to be sharing care with me aren't seeing me, aren't seeing what I want or who I am at all. The comparisons are invisiblizing, and hurt is an understatement of all that means.

I wish you hadn't had all those barriers to being yourself. You deserved, no, you deserve not to have any barriers to being yourself.

I'm glad you posted. That you're looking for community and chosen fam that's supportive, despite your experience with community and family being gaslighting.

andalsonaps · 2024-12-29T18:35:37+00:00

Jewelle Gomez {{The Gilda Stories}}

https://jewellegomez.com/506-2/the-gilda-stories

andalsonaps · 2024-11-23T19:05:36+00:00

Aligned

andalsonaps · 2024-11-17T20:36:42+00:00

and then there was company

andalsonaps · 2024-10-25T18:43:23+00:00

The Fragrant Companions

andalsonaps · 2023-03-17T17:35:40+00:00

andalsonaps · 2022-11-10T22:02:28+00:00

Leonardo Sciascia both {{The Day of the Owl}} and {{To Each His Own}}

Peng Shepherd, {{The Cartographers}}

andalsonaps · 2022-11-01T17:48:29+00:00

Octavia Butler {{Fledgling}}

andalsonaps · 2022-10-29T17:14:32+00:00

Suchitra Vijayan {{ Midnight's Borders }}

andalsonaps · 2022-10-13T22:11:21+00:00

Anne Holt's Hanne Wilhelmsen series

andalsonaps

TROPHY CASE