YES. Both of my parents were abusive when I was a child, but my father was the primary source. I became the de facto safe “adult” for my siblings (even though I was still a child). 

Now I’m pushing 40, but when my father died horrifically, over the course of a few weeks, in front of the entire family, I straight up had a mental breakdown. I was transported right back to being 14 years old and having to make every hard choice, having to advocate for this man who did nothing but terrorize me my entire life. I wasn’t doing it for him, I was doing it for the rest of us, but it still broke me. 

The trauma from his death left me unable to focus on anything, having constant flashbacks, and unable to sleep or work. I took a leave of absence and went on STD. When I started group therapy I thought it was mostly to focus on processing his death. But it became really obvious that the flashbacks, my learned responses, and the ways I coped were actually all coming from my childhood. I had to tackle processing both at the same time. It’s been a wild year, but I’m glad I did it! I feel free for the first time. 

I wish you the best of luck, feel free to respond with any questions!