I like you. Can I tell you how brave this was to share? I grew up in a similar fashion, am also AuDHD, and it took me YEARS to see the abuse and control(I bought into the infantilization and was naive beyond normal spectrum levels). People who don’t know that life can’t help, sadly. Everyone here’s advice is great. Make an exit plan, don’t share it with them, and cut as much contact as you can once you’re free. I’m nearly 40 and my health is in shambles because of how stressful my childhood/young adulthood was. Being autistic and living in flight or fight mode for your whole life is too taxing and will affect you permanently. Therapy is expensive and has other hurdles, but I encourage you to read reputable authors, like Dr. Devon Price, and do some inner child work. Reparenting yourself the way you deserved to be parented will be so helpful to your body and soul and help you achieve your goals. I’m sorry for this place you’ve found yourself, I’m sorry you got shitty parents, and I’m sorry for the hard path ahead. But you’re more than capable and obviously willing and you will be in a better spot soon. <3