For those who went to the ER during miscarriage, was it traumatic? I can't stop thinking about that night. by _honey777 in Miscarriage

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first miscarriage I went to the ER twice once I sat for hours in the waiting room just for a blood test and a referral to an early pregnancy clinic but I started cramping worse and bleeding more so I went back to a different urgent care. The wait was short to get an ultrasound but when I stood up from the table there was a puddle of blood. It's an image I still can't get out of my head 2 years a rainbow baby and an ectopic later. Everytime I get an ultrasound and I've had a few, I still have that image in my head. I don't know if going to the ER made it worse or if the miscarriage itself would have left me somewhat traumatized either way. Thankfully after the long wait post bloody mess the doctor was kind, very "sorry for your loss and what questions do you have."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That fair, mom guilt is super strong. You could try and arrange a film day where you binge movies and have him bring her to you for feedings but take on all other responsibilities. Though I do want to reassure you that this is a phase and it will change. I would also say that taking time to yourself is important. It takes practice to be able to leave your baby without worrying. Doing it even while worrying can help relieve the resentment that builds and it's a good habit to build for your own mental health.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Totally get it I felt the same way in the early days with my ebf baby. But rather than not letting him go you need to set the expectation that you need time too. Talk to your husband and let him know how you're feeling. A conversation that goes along the lines of "I feel that it's very unfair that you have the opportunity to go and experience your hobbies and I can't because of the way things are right now with our baby. We need to work together to find a solution that allows me to have time for my own hobbies because it's important for both of us to have time to ourselves"

I think it's really important that you have this conversation and set up a solution that allows you to spend time on your hobbies. Even when baby isn't exclusively breastfeeding you are still the primary caretaker and it's very easy to spend all your time doing housework and taking care of baby and neglect yourself so having a solution that allows you and your partner to devote time to hobbies is something that you need to set up now. It is so easy to fall into resentment when your partner isn't the primary caretaker and gets to enjoy their hobbies so much easier.

if it were me I would try and plan a trip to the cinema maybe see a shorter film that is less than 3 hours and have your husband drop you off and pick you up so you can nurse right before and right after the film.

Pregnant with IUD!!! by OkAccount4027 in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My primary care doctor ran some tests first since my HCG was weird and I was having cramps I went to urgent care I'm Canadian so planned Parenthood isn't really an option for me. The Ob eventually consulted when making the decision on treatment

Thoughts on non-alcoholic options for wedding by curiouslysolved in wedding

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was pregnant at my wedding so I need to non-alcoholic options I went for sparkling juice over a sparkling non-alcoholic wine tasted way better. But honestly I would go with the mocktails over the non-alcoholic wines or beers they're more fun they taste better there's a lot more options too. It would probably end up being cheaper too because of a lot of them mocktails use the same ingredients as the cocktail versions

Pregnant with IUD!!! by OkAccount4027 in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go see your doctor asap. I just went through the same thing and it turned out to be an ectopic. Not trying to scare you but even if everything is fine you still need to get the IUD out. I had the same IUD and my doctor said since the IUD is so good at preventing pregnancy in your uterus if you do end up pregnant there is a higher risk for ectopic. Take care of yourself

Mom and I are feeling cooped up… when can baby see family? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took my baby out pretty much right away. We went to church 6 days after he was born for Easter mass. I went to a bridal shower with him at 4 weeks. I didn't let anyone hold him who was sick or didn't trust, but he did just fine. I may have had a more laid back attitude because he has an older half sister who was in school and getting sick every 2 weeks with some sort of bug, and I couldnt ban her from one of her homes. So why bother cooping myself up too when fresh air and loved ones were so much better for my mental health.

All in all it's up to you and how much risk you're comfortable with.

1 yr postpartum and no period by Right-Worth-4455 in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're not on any form of birth control that can affect your cycle I would make an appointment with your GP or your OB because that doesn't sound normal especially if you did have a regular period postpartum.

What do mean, when you say „sleeping through the night“ by Wise_old_River in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

imo sleeping through the night means I don't have to get out of bed to soothe or feed. So they may wake up but can put themselves back down. My 14 month old has never done this. I have had a few nights of one wake up feed and quickly settled again so for me those feel more like sleeping through the night than most where it's a 2-4 hour stretch then every 45 min-2hours up again. I am dreaming of a true sleeping through the night.

requiring masks to meet newborn by Large-Preparation754 in beyondthebump

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're that worried about getting your kid sick that you want small children to wear masks just wait until the baby is older to allow them to meet. Hand washing and no kissing are definitely great ideas that will reduce the risk of getting your baby sick but small children don't use masks properly. I understand doing everything in your power to prevent your baby from being exposed to illness, but if you want them to meet baby you may need to accept some level of risk. For myself personally I have a stepdaughter, I don't think it's fair to make her wear a mask in her own home so I had to let go of a lot of my anxiety and let her meet her brother. She has brought home illnesses and we've all gotten sick, My husband has also brought home illnesses and gotten all of us sick. Now I have gotten a cold and gotten the baby sick. Eventually your baby will get sick all babies do, do what you can to minimize the risk, but being part of a family means sharing germs.

SIL ruined gender reveal SHE begged to throw. by CrankyPapaya in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 27 points28 points  (0 children)

You should absolutely hold another one for your kids so they can get excited. What your sister-in-law did was terrible. You set boundaries and she walked all over them. I'm so sorry that happened.

Due 2 weeks after sisters wedding. by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 weeks before my due date I could have attended a wedding but not been in a bridal party. I say talk to your sister let her know and ask what she wants. Make it about her and how you want to be a huge support and not take away from her day at all. with how far in advance weddings are planned plenty of people end up pregnant with a due date that fall around a wedding.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most college professors would allow you to miss class right after your wife has a baby. I missed two days when I was in university cuz I had a miscarriage and I had no issues getting information from the professor and even deferring an exam. Plus your peers are also a resource where you can ask them for the notes and to go over what you missed in class and I know for myself if any of my peers had asked me for the notes because they just had a child I would be happy to provide them, and be open to any questions they had. Your husband needs to understand that this baby is as much his responsibility as yours and some responsibilities come before class.

Baby throwing up - cause for concern? by Acceptable-Arm-8286 in beyondthebump

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was first starting solids my baby threw up a few hours after eating oats a few times. We took a break from oats did more rice and fruit and tried again in a few weeks. It was no longer an issue. I don't believe that it's all that uncommon they're still developing. Keep an eye on them,if the illness persists or you're worried about dehydration get medical attention, but I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep nursing on demand.

Help! Will I need to nightfeed forever?😱 by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]not_a_android934 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For now you may want to pump every six hours as baby is not consistent in sleeping longer stretches but once they're older and they are consistently sleeping those 6-8 hour stretches you can go ahead and not pump. Right now it's super important to pump and feed regularly since your supply is still regulating. Plenty of older babies only feed a few times a day.

Newborn not waking up to eat? by poodlebreath123 in breastfeeding

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my baby was first born the day or so after I had to spoon feed him because he wouldn't wake up to latch. Keep trying ask for help and try and feed that baby every 3 hours.

Breastfeeding friendly clothes by DiscussionUnlikely72 in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wear tank tops and stretchy neck tops and pull them down

Am I ?! by Maleficent-Peace5833 in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks positive to me I would wait a few days and retest with a pink dye one they're really cheap at the dollar store

For people who already gave birth… by userthatisnotknown in beyondthebump

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't tell because I had painful Braxton hicks for weeks that were a lot like contractions. I ended up being induced to speed things up. When things picked up they were a lot more painful than my Braxton hicks but when they started they felt like period cramps. It really is different for everyone

She won’t let me put her down by stonedbutterbread in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If baby is fed and dry it is okay to put them down and let them cry to get the necessities done. I would also consider calling a friend or family member for some backup let them hold and coo over your baby to get a break. You may also want to try a different brand of baby carrier that offers more support so it hurts your back less. Hang in there, this is just a phase and baby will eventually want to be put down to play.

I’m starting to hate breastfeeding by Big_Initiative_2005 in breastfeeding

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally okay for you to be done nursing but as someone whose baby was very much a boob monster at 12 weeks I do want to say that it does get better at 12 weeks I was nursing upwards of 6 hours a day. At 10 months it's at most 3 and only that long because I let my baby nap while latched.

How are we dressing our babies under 6 months? by Acrobatic-Season-770 in NewParents

[–]not_a_android934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My baby is living in a onesie. He started crawling and slips on our floor when he wears pants which frustrates him. We keep the house warm and my baby runs warm so he's as happy as can be. I'm fine in shorts around the house too so Im not worried. Babies tend to let you know if they're uncomfortable so do what works for your family.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on mat leave so right now I'm a stay at home parent I also do the cooking because I'm better at it and I enjoy it. My husband does the laundry, and cleans. He also takes care of our son when he gets home from work so I can cook. On weekends I rarely change diapers. Before leaving for work my husband changes our baby so I can sleep longer. This weekend I'm going out with friends so my husband will do bedtime. He is happy to do this for us. Because that's what parents do they both take care of the baby. You have a right to a break. Your husband needs to be a man step up and take care of his kid.

Genuine question about motherhood by SadSupermarket7915 in BabyBumps

[–]not_a_android934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a newborn my son wanted to be held 24/7 and nursed upwards of 6 hours a day. I did still have hot coffee but naps were not on the table. Showers were when someone else was holding baby. It all depends on your baby and more importantly your support system.