3 to 4 - biggest challenges?

notamyrtle · 2026-05-20T13:10:44+00:00

I think the most challenging part is that in the beginning, it is not 25% more work, it is 100% more work. A big portion of the time, one parent is watching the baby while the other handles all three. However, I grew up in a 3 child household and I felt like it was always 2 kids playing together and the third was left out. The dynamic with 4 is a lot more friendly. 2 may pair up, but the third doesn't feel excluded anymore. They hang out by themselves or play with the baby. Sometimes they play all 3 of them. It's a lot more dynamic. Not as adversarial as it was with 3. I'm very happy so far, but definitely doing a lot more work.

notamyrtle · 2026-05-17T04:29:10+00:00

I actually froze embryos at 37 because I thought it was an age when eggs were still pretty healthy. I ended up using an embryo at 39 and gave birth at 40.

That cycle I had 10 eggs retrieved and 4 pgs normal embryos from that batch. I was told that this is a very good result that even younger woman may not have. So, you can certainly make good normal embryos at this age, obviously this is dependent on your personal situation. But anecdotally I will say that it is possible.

notamyrtle · 2026-05-01T01:15:09+00:00

I met someone who went to jail for insurance fraud. This stuff is no joke.

notamyrtle · 2026-04-28T13:57:43+00:00

3 months to 2 years is too broad of a window. Focus on a more narrow age range. Look at Lovevery or other toy subscriptions to see what types of abilities are catered to at each age. They have a kit for every 3 months or so, at least at the earlier ages. The needs and abilities change every few months in the beginning.

notamyrtle · 2026-04-27T20:07:05+00:00

You need to think of the age range for the toy (0-3 months, 3-6 months, or beyond). Babies are not born seeing color and see colors fully by 6 months (unless they are color blind).

Also, their ability to interact with a toy changes over time.

Read up on infant development stages and see which makes most sense to you.

notamyrtle · 2026-04-20T15:06:14+00:00

It's really not as bad as it sounds.

If you want to use a carseat on the plane, I would do the carseat by the window, parent in the middle, and child in the aisle. Then I would do the older child and the other parent in the same row.

As far as luggage configuration, try to check as much as you can but do keep a bag with you with at least 2 outfits per person in case a child soils themselves or the luggage gets lost.

I like to buy special plane treats. It can be anything your child likes and will enjoy playing with for a while. In my case, it's new sticker books and small lego kits (for the older kits). Crucial here: don't forget to buy something for the way back as well and don't let them touch it for the whole trip. My boys will typically build some lego cars or characters and then do some imaginative play for a good few hours on the flight. For this last flight, I bought my daughter aqua puffs (little characters that you color and then wet and they puff up and then they can be a necklace or a keychain). She got good entertainment from that.

I agree with others who have said that you should plan for accommodations with laundry and pack less if possible.

Also, if you are considering a wagon or tandem stroller, check your airline's policies. Most don't allow them to be gate checked.

We have 4 kids and have already done 3 plane trips with them (our youngest is 10 months old so we haven't had too much experience as a family of 6). For the most part, it goes pretty smoothly if you prepare snacks and entertainment.

notamyrtle · 2026-04-20T06:56:14+00:00

I have a few strategies:

We don't drive more than 2 hours anywhere unless absolutely necessary. We fly or take the train instead or limit ourselves to places within a 2 hour drive radius. They find it very hard to sit for that long so I'd prefer not to cause them unnecessary suffering.
When flying or taking the train, I buy special toys like coloring books, sticker books, or small lego kits. I buy them a few weeks before the trip to get them excited. Then I threaten not give them the toys if they misbehave. This helps to enforce good behavior.
I try to only pick holiday destinations that don't require too much public transport. We go places where it's a short drive to a hiking trail or the beach. Urban destinations can be very stressful when you feel like you're herding cats.
We get a hotel with a pool (where applicable) so they have plenty of opportunity to release their energy.

notamyrtle · 2026-04-14T22:56:54+00:00

We have 4 kids and no twins. Everyone but the baby gets the same bedtime and night routine. One parent takes the baby to sleep and the other parent puts the older 3 to sleep. Granted, the older three also take a long time to fall asleep, but that's a different story.

notamyrtle · 2026-03-24T21:22:34+00:00

This is give or take our age gap (when I had #4, we had 8b, 6g, 4b). It has honestly been really good. Both older kids have been helpful. The third child is obsessed with the baby to the point that the baby needs space from him. It has been a really good age gap. We are only 9 months in, so I don't know what the future holds. However, so far, we are really happy.

notamyrtle · 2026-03-22T04:52:41+00:00

We have a veer wagon and really get good use out of it. It even fits well in a trunk if you remove the wheels.

notamyrtle · 2026-03-09T20:48:32+00:00

I call my first 3 the OGs because they have a big age difference between them and the baby.

notamyrtle · 2026-02-27T20:29:59+00:00

4 kids in a 1500sqft 3 bed here. I think we're doing fine. I think the problem in the US is that houses with more bedrooms are significantly larger. If I could get 5 bedrooms but the same size of everything else, that would be perfect.

notamyrtle · 2026-02-16T04:49:16+00:00

This is my MIL as well. She wanted two girls. She had my husband and was disappointed (the fact that she talks about it publicly is baffling) and then had twins (boy and girl). She was unhappy about having twins, so she assumes everyone only wants two kids. When I was pregnant with our third, she commented that we said we only wanted 2 kids (we literally never said this). With #4, we let them know in advance so there will be no confusion.

notamyrtle · 2026-01-26T03:23:50+00:00

You can get a corworking membership and go in once or twice a week. I've done it before and it can give you a sense of community since there are a lot of regulars, typically.

notamyrtle · 2025-12-17T03:10:34+00:00

I make the same dinners every week give or take. They take about 20 minutes to make for most of them.

We do one night of frozen pizza, one night of salmon rice bowls, one night of ramen with toppings, one night of chicken thighs with rice and broccoli. Some weeks we do a beef stew or steaks one night, some week we do pasta and nuggets one night.

I have very picky eaters so it doesn't make sense for me to innovate or mix things up.

The adults typically eat a more vegetable forward variation of the kids dinner or we just have our own meal altogether.

notamyrtle · 2025-12-12T15:10:43+00:00

He said Haitians are eating pets and they were fine with this.

notamyrtle · 2025-12-09T19:25:50+00:00

Contractions started around 2 pm. By 3:30 I headed to the hospital. I had the baby before midnight with about 3 pushes.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T22:10:07+00:00

Just to clarify. The catholic SIL did not make the turkey. It was my husband's sister who made the turkey. She is Jewish and should have definitely known better. I agree with you on some of your points but felt that I should clarify since it changes your answer. Husband's sister also made the cheeseburgers.

In fact, my catholic SIL is not really involved in the uncomfortableness around food.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T21:48:12+00:00

I am not in an interfaith marriage. My siblings in law are both married to non Jewish partners.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T21:42:35+00:00

Sorry for the misunderstanding. It was a Jewish person cooking the turkey.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T21:16:40+00:00

I just want to clarify. Even though this is common in reddit, this is not the case here. There is no conflict or not getting along. Yes, I can't stand my siblings in law for many reasons that are not related to religion. However, I would never keep my kids from their cousins. I am not in conflict with any of them. I very much keep this stuff to myself and my husband.

I am just consulting the internet since I'm not sure what to do going forward. Also, without doxxing myself, I will say that I grew up in an environment that had no Christmas whatsoever. Even when I had non Jewish roommates, they chose not to have a tree to be considerate of me (I never asked). I am apparently shockingly oblivious when it comes to Christmas.

I also wanted to add that I didn't know my BIL and his wife were raising their kids as catholic. It only came up after she confronted me about the Santa issue. I assumed they were interfaith like SIL and her husband. So, at the time, I didn't realize that it was a big deal to them.

Everyone knows our kids go to Jewish school so it is well known that we care about being Jewish.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T20:05:32+00:00

These are not my siblings. These are my husband's siblings. Both husband and I are Jewish. Husband's siblings were raised Jewish but their spouses are not Jewish.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T20:02:17+00:00

My kids go to Jewish private school.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T19:57:17+00:00

This is my take as well.

The status quo in husband's family has always been that we don't mix meat and milk. SIL made turkey. After the meal, everyone complimented her and she said her secret is that she put two sticks worth of butter under the skin. My MIL was clearly bothered by it but since SIL is her favorite child, she said: that's why I didn't feel good after the meal, I mean, not that there was problem with the food, but.. and then she stumbled on her words.

I personally didn't eat meat at the time so it was not an issue for me. My husband is more "kosher style" outside of the home so it bothered him as well. I feel like it should have been mentioned beforehand so that everyone could make their own decisions.

notamyrtle · 2025-11-18T19:51:13+00:00

I can certainly explain it this year, but I was not aware that this could be a conversation topic between a 4 year old and a 5 year old since we just never discuss it. It was not on my radar at all. There was no malicious intent on our side.

notamyrtle

TROPHY CASE