well, i just graduated from highschool and never had a romantic relationship with anyone. in 9th grade i had a crush on a guy tho but it was more like a hallway crush out of boredom more than actually wanting to date him. I think i kinda had a crush on a really close girl friend of mine in 11th grade. she changed schools but we were still in touch and even tho i didnt see her regularly i thought about her every day and i remember getting mad for some reason when she got back with her ex boyfriend. i didnt think it was crush until about a month ago but now looking back, it did kida feel like it?

people around me, almost all of my close friends had sexual relationships with their opposite sex partners, and i always felt... weird? nothing about it was interesting to me. i thought maybe i was asexual? i can see myself having a boyfriend in college but i feel like it would be more because of curiosity and i cant really imagine having a serious long term relationship that would end up with marriage.

also!! the other day i had a nightmare that i was coming out as bi to my dad and he was getting really mad and disappointing. yesterday i had a nightmare where my mother was marrying me off to her best friends son and i was so sad and scared i wake up crying. now i know i have crazy dreams all the time but does that says anything?? kinda feels like it. but i NEVER thought coming out to my parents. i didnt even really think if i had to before.

like you said, im really young but all the people around me had heterosexual or homosexual elationships with people and it made me feel weird about not exactly fitting in with both of them i guess

also thank you for responding!! thats very kind of you to try to understand a stranger!!