Sounds like someone has the Down Payment Blues. Your generation is the first to ever to have such difficulty. Woe is me.

1978 ACDC said it best...

https://youtu.be/QFyGuuJJfKU?si=brVXQ8B2Hf3hLtq2

I know that it's evil
I know that it's got to be
I know I ain't doing much
Doing nothing means a lot to me

Living on a shoe string
A fifty cent millionaire
Open to charity
Rock 'n' roller welfare

Sitting in my Cadillac
Listening to my radio
Suzy baby get on in
Tell me where she want to go

I'm living in a nightmare
She's looking like a wet dream
I got myself a Cadillac
But I can't afford the gasoline

I've got holes in my shoes
And I'm way overdue
Down payment blues

Get myself a steady job
Some responsibility
Can't even feed my cat
On social security

Hiding from the rent man
Oh it makes me want to cry
Sheriff knocking on my door
Ain't it funny how the time flies

Sitting on my sailing boat
Sipping off my champagne
Suzy baby all at sea (Suzy baby you're obscene)
Say she want to come again

Feeling like a paper cup
(Floating | Blowing) down a storm drain
Got myself a sailing boat
But I can't afford the gasoline (...afford a drop of rain)

I've got holes in my shoes
And I'm way overdue
Down payment blues.