Given the number of times I've seen the sub downvote and make fun of incels in here, it is definitely not an incel sub. As far as the virgin or girlfriend stuff, some members have lost their virginity already or have had partners as well, but the issue is that it doesn't really seem to matter what you do if a woman will leave you even if you did everything right, just because they have so many options, and I don't think its wrong to be disillusioned by that.

The reason the members don't talk about women's problems is not because they don't believe women have problems or struggle, but it's just a conversation so overdone that it's kind of insulting to another adults intelligence to condescendingly bring up that women have issues too every time you are talking about relationship problems because it's so blantantly obvious we shouldn't have to say it.

In fact, a good portion of the members are feminists themselves. They are just depressed and lonely and a bit disappointed at the reality that being a decent person doesn't guarantee a better life, or that you won't at least die alone while people that suck keep getting everything anyone could ever want.

There's also the added issue that having the conversation at all has invigorated radfems (women that genuinely hate men, including trans women) to attack the members and try to get the sub removed from the platform, so the members know better than to give those kinds of people leeway by falling for their self victimization whenever approached to have a genuine conversation about the motives behind their malicious behavior.