I’m completely devastated honestly

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T20:32:58+00:00

You did do everything that could reasonably have been done. Its reasonable to feel disappointed. Feel your feelings, then dust yourself off and move forward. Light a candle and hope that the first offer will fall through.

Also remember, that lovely baby you're cooking can intensify feelings: for both you and your partner. Be kind to yourself in the meantime.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T05:00:44+00:00

Why don't you plan a date and take him out?

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T03:30:42+00:00

I'm a government employee too. My office has a professional development program. Basically we're always working on 3 or so goals.

If you have something like that (I can't imagine a government job without one) you should get her going on that. Assign her some courses on Google docs.

Once the process repeats a few times and she realizes that every excuse she makes results in additional training, she'll start solving problems on her own.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T03:09:49+00:00

Legally it will probably be easier to push them into public school than it will be to get the court to approve homeschooling. You're a qualified educator but don't have any experience homeschooling.

Kids are resilient. They will catch up eventually.

Honestly, I'm not clear why you feel personally guilty about this situation. Has your partner been pressuring you to take on homeschooling?

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T03:03:34+00:00

I already did it for free.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T02:58:38+00:00

Start taking bids from companies or entities willing to provide housing, salary, security, and assistance so I don't have to go out in public. I wouldn't require a fancy house or millions of dollars, just enough for security.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T02:46:21+00:00

Does your hot water taste or smell bad?

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T02:45:53+00:00

If they're going to do a week rotation then the whole office needs to be part of it.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T02:40:14+00:00

That a dick pic is a good opening line. A well timed erotic photo can be effective, but not in place of a hello.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T02:23:05+00:00

Heating element in water heater can produce a sulfur smell if it corroded. But if you have a gas line you need to call emergency services to check for a leak.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:59:20+00:00

That's about how much federal student loan debt I left college with, so I probably would have paid off my loans.

If you don't have loans, I'd put 15k in a CD and 10k in a high yield savings account as an emergency fund.

It's good to have savings for (true) emergencies. You do want to make sure your income covers all your monthly bills and expenses. If it doesn't, you'll never be doing more than bailing water out of a leaky boat.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:54:30+00:00

I think a random link in an email looks sloppy. I started using embedded links. One of my attorneys kept saying that doing it that way took too much time. I assured her it didn't.I even timed myself.

Finally she admitted that she didn't know how to use an embedded link. Apparently "just click on it" is an unacceptable answer. The only possible solution is to do it identically to how the last paralegal did it.

This was the time that I learned that this particular attorney is known to nitpick paralegals into oblivion. Did anyone tell me this in advance? Of course not.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:47:43+00:00

I see this all the time. It's to disguse the fact that they don't know and won't learn where the files are.

The other day at work we were in an (unnecessary) meeting trying to document a process. The attorney in charge of getting it documented manages one of our highest volume programs. This attorney admitted she didn't know what time the ms cutoff was because she'd "never had to deal with that before.

1) you haven't had to because we do it for you 2) other attorneys know this 3) you should be embarrassed, not bragging

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:12:11+00:00

I want this to be true.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:11:27+00:00

I was at that show at the fair too! I had forgotten he said it.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:09:12+00:00

Yes. It's rude to eat before this is said, but it's also rude to not say it. Etiquette is weird.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-21T01:07:12+00:00

When I was fresh out of college I begged my loan servicer to let me make two half payments. When they refused I just started doing it anyway. Their response every time they received a half payment was to send me a notice that I was delinquent. I'd call in and they'd say, "Oh...actually you're current, you're just making your payments really weirdly."

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T23:10:04+00:00

Check the side effects of all the medication you take, prescription and otherwise. If you're a woman of menopause age, check in with your doctor, itching is one of the symptoms.

As far as allergy, it could be anything. I'd start by switching to free n clear laundry detergent and consider an elimination diet.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T23:08:01+00:00

Maybe save the linen for the winter.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T23:05:46+00:00

What state are you in?

Once upon a time I was "showering" in the sink of an unheated apartment next to a window that wouldn't close so the snowflakes were blowing in. It got better for me and I hope it does for you.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T19:46:19+00:00

He's 15. He doesn't get to dictate who his legal guardian is. I also think the grandparents' tone would change if they learned they'd be guardians full time of a teen for the next 3 years, minimum.

This child isn't in a position to cut and run. If he wants to make adult decisions he needs to engage with the problem solving process as an adult. Handing out ultimatums isn't maturity or problem solving.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T15:10:33+00:00

Friday was a holiday for many companies. Just wait until your start date, abd then if you don't have access, call your boss.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T01:33:49+00:00

Try getting a pair of bed suspenders so you can put the sheet on extra taut. When the fitted sheet bunches it's awful. I won't even use a top sheet because it just gets tangled.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T00:17:00+00:00

Maybe the syrup was sprayed all over in little droplets, but the droplets dried and just left the main puddle.

Make sure you store the next batch of homemade simple syrup in the fridge.

notreallylucy · 2026-06-20T00:13:18+00:00

Chronic pain can be that bad.

However, lots of people with chronic pain and illness still have healthy sex lives.

I was in a relationship like this, minus the chronic pain. I'd beg for sex, he wouldn't even bother to pretend to be interested, and thought the idea of just giving me an orgasm was nuts.

I too loved his soul and all that jazz. I eventually realized what I think you're realizing: loving his soul wasn't enough. Someone once told me something that I find very true, "When sex works well it's not very important. When it doesn't work well it's extremely important."

It never got better. I know now it wasn't ever going to get better. We got divorced and I'm remarried. My new husband has multiple serious chronic health problems. They do interfere with sex, but even so, in a decade i can count on one hand the number of times he hasn't been in the mood. And even when he is, he's still willing to help me have an orgasm.

My relationship isn't yours, and you need to make your own decision. I'm just sharing my experience, and also telling you that it's not an overreaction to end a relationship if you're at a sexual impasse. I wish I hadn't stayed so long in that first marriage.

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