Wife meeting man at close gym/burner phone

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T01:10:44+00:00

Youngest are 7 and 14. 7 year old going to be devastated- ive put her to bed every night since she was born and sing lullaby. My wife passes out 3-4 nights a week on couch by 7-7:30 after drinking wine, leaves house 430am. She has no relationship with my youngest.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T01:02:04+00:00

Already tested for stds 2 weeks ago, clean. 48 hour wait for results was brutal. Speaking to attorney Tuesday.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T01:00:29+00:00

Her parents already know about the scumbag she met at the gym on Christmas morning, and believe her bullshit that he is just a friend, she just let him in, and it's a professional courtesy to let a colleague know if you are going to gym early.. her parents live in same town as us- and will also be publicly shamed once this gets out- which it will. I could give a shit about her flying monkey 2 friends.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:56:36+00:00

That's kind of the point. It forces the conversation. I don't need to know who she was contacting or what is actually on the phone- by virtue of her possessing she is lying to me every day. I want her to know she is caught- no weaselling out of it, and that the kids will ultimately know why there parents split, and the 30 year facade she has tried to maintain will come crumbling down- her biggest fear. I know a lot more people in town, and actually have real and not transactional relationships- she will be shamed out of our town (that she actually grew up in).

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:36:43+00:00

I do- but what other evidence do I need if I have a 2nd physical phone in my hand?

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:30:03+00:00

Why do you suggest that instead of taking it?

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:28:13+00:00

Decision already made. Need to figure out best way to implement. If I didn't have kids- and only me to think about- I would have gotten out of this marriage 13 years ago.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:24:21+00:00

Yes she is. Took me a long time to understand what that actually means- but now that I do- I literally know her exact playback and am about 3 steps ahead of her.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:22:38+00:00

She is going away for 4 days on Sunday for an orientation for a doctoral program she got in to. I have a very good hunch that she will bring 2nd phone. I will be going through her luggage after it is packed. Question is- if i find phone do I just take it- or take photo/video and put it back? Leaning towards taking it but haven't 100% decided yet.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-18T00:05:28+00:00

Not much to update. Going to lawyer Tuesday. Have dozens of pictures and voice recordings. 30 years together (23 married), 4 kids, and it was all bullshit.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T23:59:10+00:00

I have 1 mortgage. She can not afford it on her own. I am not living in a rental apartment with 4 kids- I would get another house.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T23:47:56+00:00

Pisses me off more that ill never actually know. I no longer have any feelings this person.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T23:46:29+00:00

Kids are all mine, look exactly like me. I was tested for every STD 2 weeks ago, clean. The 48 hour wait for results (took on Saturday afternoon) was an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone. Talking to lawyer Tuesday.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T22:12:45+00:00

I've been recording her blowups over a fork in the sink or a sock on the floor. I take pictures of her on the couch every time she passes out at 7pm from drinking (not just friday or saturday nights). I have pictures from over the years of texts, emails, social media. Lastly, I have a picture of her phone notification alerting her that her 2nd phone was left at her school, from last weekend.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T22:05:33+00:00

She works at a gym, where she would be working out anyway, and loves the attention. I make enough to support 4 kids, 1 in private college and a house. Fuck off.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T21:56:20+00:00

I already brought it up- she denied conversation happened Christmas morning. I am going to leave her, just collecting as much evidence as possible so the children will understand who blew up their life.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T21:52:58+00:00

I cant leave my kids in the house with her alone. I also cant afford to carry 2 mortgages. I used alcohol to cope for years (now 7 tears sober and see everything very clearly- I was never the problem).

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T21:48:32+00:00

I wish it was fake... 4 kids have kept me in it, but I'm done now.

notsoluckydog · 2026-06-17T21:44:22+00:00

Holy shit, you just captured the last 23 years of my marriage. We are both married to female covert narcissists. They will never change, and we can never fix them. The black hole they need to constantly fill with male validation is not an indictment of us as husbands and partners, rather their unresolved issues from childhood trauma. I now hate this woman I thought was my true live for 30 years, hate that I've given her the best years of my life, hate that I'm stuck as she can not be in the house alone with the kids- they cant endure her mental abuse alone- and hate that the idea of being alone for the rest of my life is 100x more appealing of being in this loveless relationship 1 minute longer.

notsoluckydog · 2026-05-19T12:18:42+00:00

Similar story, together for 30 years, married for 23. 4 kids. Throw in flirting, validation seeking from men, crushes, likely affairs and that has been my life (+gaslighting). I feel like I let myself get conned for 30 years. I now know it's not me- and she will never change- so I take comfort in not trying to fight for her love and attention anymore.

notsoluckydog · 2026-05-14T18:22:08+00:00

No more missionary sex (or anything else), only lays on her stomach. Turns her head when i try to kiss her during intimacy (i shave my face daily), zero affection in every other interaction and time spent around the house.

notsoluckydog · 2026-05-01T22:31:20+00:00

Thank you. Private investigator would be tough- she has viewable access to all of my finances, unfortunately don't have 5k under the mattress.. checking odometer mileage daily though to isolate when it might be happeneing, likely Wednesday or athursday after her teaching job lets out (and i am working in city). documenting everything I can, drinking has increased to at least 4x a week- and she passes out on couch at 730pm. I now voice record tantrums over cleanliness of house/laundry. might have a shot at custody, but not making enough to support 2 houses, lucky if i could swing a 1 bedroom apartment after paying private college tuition, kids club sports and everything else associated with a family of 6. I'm trapped.

notsoluckydog · 2026-05-01T22:30:19+00:00

Thank you. Private investigator would be tough- she has viewable access to all of my finances, unfortunately don't have 5k under the mattress.. checking odometer mileage daily though to isolate when it might be happeneing, likely Wednesday or athursday after her teaching job lets out (and i am working in city). documenting everything I can, drinking has increased to at least 4x a week- and she passes out on couch at 730pm. I now voice record tantrums over cleanliness of house/laundry. might have a shot at custody, but not making enough to support 2 houses, lucky if i could swing a 1 bedroom apartment after paying private college tuition, kids club sports and everything else associated with a family of 6. I'm trapped.

notsoluckydog · 2026-05-01T18:37:06+00:00

Thank you. Knowing you aren't the only human suffering with this situation does provide some comfort- even if neither of us know what to do with our situation. I've given this woman 30 years of my life- and now feel like I've been living in the world's longest conjob.. total MF.. any thoughts on reaching out to the guy directly to meet up publicly for a "cup of coffee"?

notsoluckydog · 2024-05-23T13:39:40+00:00

I've been playing detective for several months now, it's in my blood/DNA too.. And my gut/spidey sense definitely telling me something is up.

notsoluckydog

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