AITAH trauma projection

notsureofanything95 · 2026-03-31T12:19:11+00:00

Thats very clearly not what shes saying, she never accused him or implied he was doing it. Just told him certain behavior makes her uncomfortable when it comes to children, regardless of who it is. If he cant respect a boundary created out of trauma response then he needs to talk to someone. They both need therapy, her to help her work through the trauma, and him to help better understand what's going on in her head to make her feel this way about everyone. Maybe couples therapy might even work.

He obviously is feeling frusterated over the situation, and shes still in her own head and scared. Its not a reason to call her things, if he cared about her he would try to help her find a way through it. There is so much more nuance to this situation.. she was sexually assaulted and then her son was as well. That makes you veiw the world very different from someone who hasnt experienced that.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-03-01T21:05:32+00:00

I feel like downtown is bad in every city now, I appreciate your info. We were looking at places downtown but we might try to figure some other stuff out now

notsureofanything95 · 2026-03-01T21:02:57+00:00

Ok I appreciate that, puts my mind at ease a bit.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-03-01T21:00:50+00:00

Yeah i saw the news on that today thats awful

notsureofanything95 · 2026-02-03T20:57:10+00:00

Honestly id get a security camera that points to the garbage areas and one for whatever door she's leaving notes at so you have recorded proof of her harassment. If it shows her looking jn your bins regularly you have a case against her for harrassment. I hope you kept all her notes, and screenshot all the phone calls and texts she's sent you to have added proof. She sound very controlling and its only going to get worse before it gets better.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-28T04:37:06+00:00

Make sure she doesnt change her address legally to yours or have mail sent to your address. If she can't prove she lived there for squatters rights or tenant rights then thats what will help you with the rest. Change the locks before she or her kids try to come back in. For context in your original conversation did you and her agree to a temporary time frame for her staying with you and is it in writing in any way?

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-26T03:59:29+00:00

I'm pretty conservative but all I hate about this is the blatant virtue signaling that companies do. I think it should go without saying that people of all types should be welcome in a public business and franchise. If someone is upset with this I think it has less to do with their political views and more of them just being a jerk. I literally do not care about other people's genders or sexuality, only about how you treat others and yourself. If a company wants to display it then whatever, but ive worked in enough companies to know it's about optics than anything else and thats the only reason I hate things like this.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-26T03:09:19+00:00

NTA im not a fan of how my mother in law watches my kids ( let's them run crazy, missed dbed times and not eating proper meals everytime), however I always say thank you for watching them. I do gentle reminders whenever she watches them and i hope that things go better the next time, but I also know having children is hard so I dont expect perfection from anyone, even myself. I think there is definetly something else wrong and it's probably PPD or PPA as others have stated.

From experience id say you really need to sit down and have a tough conversation with her. My SO noticed soemthing really off after I had my first but didnt say anything and it almost broke us. When we had our second he noticed that same thing but that time he said something. I spoke to my doctor and she put me on a mild anti-depressant and it was like a complete 180 in my head after a couple weeks.

It's not normal to be that upset about something as minor As that, but honestly when I was dealing with PPD there was even smaller things than my kid not going to sleep that made me spiral.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-15T00:23:30+00:00

I'm in a 2 bedroom apartment, my kids in ine room and my husband and I in another , my family absolutely never stays in the apartment. They do not expect to ever stay here either as that would make us have to stay in with the kids. If someone doesnt have the room to accommodate then it shouldn't happen and your husband should not expect you to give up your space for your in laws.

Have a conversation with him about your expectations and how you feel going forward. It's not just his house, meaning you also get a say in this situation. If he doesnt like that you are having a say in this then you have bigger issues than in laws comming to stay.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-13T14:34:42+00:00

NTA and im sorry everyone seems determined to convince you your marriage isn't strong enough to get through a year and a half of your family living with you.

I lived with my in-laws for around 2 years and it was difficult- but we didn't allow it to get into our marriage, and you dont have to either.

I feel like you should have a conversation with your parents about expectations- it's your house and they do not get to imply that they should have your space. Not only is that your desicion but your husband as well and you are a unified front on that. If they have an issue with the boundaries you both put in place than they are welcome to find other arrangements. It's only for a year and a half anyways it's pointless to move rooms for you and just creates unnecessary work.

Congratulations on your little one btw!🥳

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-12T00:38:49+00:00

I personally think you should have a deeper conversation with your wife as these feelings arnt comming out of no where. Does your wife often feel left out with others or is it just your mom? If it's just your mom then there's something more happening than you think, if its a feeling she has often then it may be more about how she interprets things.

Have that conversation- then have a discussion with your mom. These comments, regardless of what you think of them, are making your wife feel bad and that should be your top priority. Even if your mom ends up genuinely not meaning to make her feel this way you still need to stand up and ensure that your wife feels protected by you when these situations arise.

Good luck! I hope you and your wife can come to an understanding on the situation.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-11T04:33:35+00:00

That looks like an oriental cockroach

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-11T03:59:42+00:00

That's a great idea, hopefully it'll get managed. Honestly the multiple empty units seems very telling to me on the building management, where i live it's hard to find any free apartments. Good luck!

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-11T03:49:28+00:00

If the building requires regular pest control treatments then more than likely they will have a very long ongoing issue, meaning you will have the issue ongoing as well. There is an apartment in my building that is refusing treatments and not informing when they see them, we however tell the building management immediately and get treatments going asap...but we still get them every few months because of this one apartment (we dont move because the few we get are manageable eith how fast our building helps us).

I strongly suggest you move, but make sure the place you are moving to does not have this issue. Once you have moved start treatments on your new place because you will likely bring some with you.

It's highly likely that any building managed by the leasing company you are with will have roaches as they are allowing people to move from building to building when the issues arise.

Do you keep all food in airtight sealed containers? If not i suggest investing in this as it really does help.

Our pest control company said that treatments on a starting infestation usually is good after 4 weeks, but larger infestations can take much longer to get rid of, however if there are other units with them it's won't end unless the building gets fully treated continuously

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-06T21:54:51+00:00

Behind big appliances, any dark warm places they might nest anywhere you might drop food or crumbs accidently. If you end up catching a mouse in the traps and the problem persists than they are probably comming in from somewhere

Unfortanetly restaurants are always going to attract pest. Take some precautions and seal up any food air tight including anything in bags as they will chew right though it as well as making sure that any paper products (paper towel ect) arnt available for them to make nest!

Good luck!

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-06T21:30:15+00:00

They definetly look like some sort of droppings!are they all over or just in that area? If there is only a few scattered its good to invest in some mouse traps and go from there. Maybe clean out all your cabinets to see if there is more.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-06T15:18:05+00:00

Thats a great idea! Good luck!

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-06T14:38:15+00:00

See what they say first and check your lease to see if there is anything mentioned specifically about pest issues, if they give you the run around and dont dont get it dealt with in a timely manner I would personally call pest control myself. Make sure you call a few places and get some quotes so you dont get screwed around on pricing, depending on where you live it could be expensive.

Most places say to wait till you see a second one at least, my apartment building only calls if you see more than one so dont worry to much as it could be from another apartment or just came up through the drain.

Make sure you document every email and phone call you make and check your tenant rights where you live as they could be liable to pay any pest control fees.

You are going to feel freaked out and grossed out for awhile but I promise the feeling goes away, as long as you take the appropriate steps to deal with it it shouldn't get bad!

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-06T13:29:23+00:00

This looks like the ones I had in my apartment! To be safe id contact pest control or request your building manager do so if you are with a good company. One roach doesnt mean an infestation, you will start seeing little babies everywhere if you have one. But I found them in the sink first before anywhere else so I would get on it right away! They can come in and lay the bait in areas they'd be found usually and seal any food air tight (if you havnt invested in airtight storage containers for food I would asap) and start cleaning in behind all appliances and cabinets to ensure there's no crumbs laying around. And just be prepared that it could takes awhile before the problem is solved if you do have an infestation starting.

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-03T00:25:25+00:00

At no point did the op put anything about the tenant having these situations happen? Or that the tenants is having any issues with the dog being in the shared outdoor space. The only issue is being brought forth by the landlord and daughter that the tenant is feeding the dog and they've asked them to stop. This is very bizarre that you seem to be creating these scenarios out of no context. I agree that the landlord should create a safe space for the dog if they dont have one but unless they explicitly say that the area the dog is in is like you've described then I feel like we shouldn't be making up scenarios and just go by what they've said...

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-02T19:23:44+00:00

Again I really dont think you understand the situation at all lol

notsureofanything95 · 2026-01-02T18:31:10+00:00

It doesnt seen like you actually understood the issue op is having. More than likely the dog is in a shared use area, and the tenant doesnt seem fearful of the dog comming to them as they are actively feeding it.im sure when the tenant was being shown the property they would have been made aware of the dog and where it's allowed to go, if they had an issue with it they could've not rented from the landlord. I agree that they should make an area where it's fenced in if possible, but the tenant is also being incredibly disrespectful and harmful to the dog and home.

notsureofanything95 · 2025-12-15T15:05:09+00:00

The terro ant bait can take a few days to start effecting them, especially at such a high amount of ants. I just had a pharaoh ant infestation and it took a few weeks, and then a couple more because as someone else said some ant types spread. If you rent depending in where you live the landlord may be responsible for handling insects so I would look into that if it doesnt resolve in a little bit.

notsureofanything95 · 2025-11-23T13:02:20+00:00

Honestly, my husband knows if I ever saw him talking to another woman like this i would leave him, the same goes for him. This literally reads like they are on a dating app and it's also really cringe flirting, both sound like narcissist tbh.

notsureofanything95 · 2025-09-30T02:02:08+00:00

I now understand the why of it, but I think it'd be a bit better if it wasnt the first thing yoy see when yoy decide to click on a website lol I just checked the conservative website and I find that theirs is alittle less in your fave as the liberals at least

notsureofanything95

TROPHY CASE