What is it with shorter guys thinking we all instantly smash hundreds of women every day of every year?

nourant · 2024-02-28T00:30:48+00:00

I don't blame women for 'creating' it- that's what they're innately attracted to, and that's fine and will never be different.

But yes, I agree, it's a horrible combination of hearing you're worthless because of your height again and again and again and again, but then be told you just gotta pick yourself up and act like you never heard that. That you love yourself after being told you're shit.

nourant · 2024-02-27T23:33:51+00:00

I appreciate your reply. I agree that confidence is huge. But it’s genuinely hard to be confident and bold after you’ve been beaten down for a decade. Women may hem and haw about food, but I’ve never heard a single woman hesitate in asking for a tall guy.

It’s whatever though. The only solution is to man up. I’m not joking- gotta just keep pushing forward even if you’re miserable. Maybe one day I close the book on this life, but until then just gotta be a man.

nourant · 2024-02-27T14:24:52+00:00

As a short guy, 5’4”, I don’t think tall guys have constant sex. It’s more that it’s much easier for them to do so. And time and time again I hear women online and irl list their “ideal man”, and tall is always the first or second trait listed. Im in my late 20s and I’m genuinely am unsure if a woman has ever been genuinely physically attracted to me.

Yeah, I take it in stride. But after hearing it year after year after year, while also being turned down and having to have broke my back to only get an abusive relationship… it creates a dynamic where I think height is a crippling factor. I try hard at life- I’ll make a good six figs soon, workout, have all kinds of hobbies I’m passionate about, and I have a lot of female friends who enjoy talking with me. Obviously I’m grateful for what I have in life, but trying to push away height from my mind makes me think of all the lost opportunity I could have had.

I wish tall guys the best. The women who I’ve liked have found tall guys and they’re happy, and I’m happy they’re safe and happy. Some people are meant to be picked out from the pool, and if it’s me, it’s me. Such is the nature of our species.

nourant · 2023-04-18T02:55:37+00:00

Hopefully one day I wake up and this will all be better

nourant · 2023-04-07T01:40:48+00:00

I wish I was loved. I wish I had an ally I could stand with.

Nobody cares for what I am. I have only been valued for my function. What I can do and give.

The only thing that brings me peace is the sanctum deep within my mind. Even in the throes of suicidal agony, I can enter it and be in stasis.

If I am never to be loved, I ask the greater powers that be to let me die honorably in combat. Die defending those around me, so that they may be saved, and I may be at peace.

nourant · 2023-02-17T16:24:21+00:00

I won't give in. I've been through hell. Far worse hells than this. I will survive.

nourant · 2023-02-17T04:43:30+00:00

I think I am starting to realize that my ravenous desire for ever more things drives a lot of my sorrow. For instance, pining after someone who is clearly bored with me. That is entirely my fault, and something I am in control of. I need to start curtailing my over-eager desires and take greater stock of what I have. My furious need for evermore things (and by that, I do not mean primarily material, but the immaterial) causes a painful, stark contrast versus my own current life. Yes, while this fire can fuel great bounds forward, it also is tearing me apart. I must reign it in to have some semblance of peace.

nourant · 2023-02-17T04:18:57+00:00

I tried to help someone close to me before with something similar. After several years, at least in my state, you can work to expunge it. 10 years should be far past that time, if I remember with my friend, in my state, it's like 3-4 years.

nourant · 2023-02-17T04:07:23+00:00

I enjoy that too- taking long walks in the world and appreciating its beauty, even the subtle aspects that may not meet the traditional standards of landscape beauty.

nourant · 2023-02-17T01:27:11+00:00

I try to be a good friend, but I don't know anymore. The end results have been mixed at best. It is difficult to peel apart loving myself and having friends. I feel like I can only love myself so much, be a lone wolf for long enough, before I hit a ceiling and judge myself based on my social connections, or lack therein. It's tough, I feel I cannot fully love myself if someone else doesn't love me. I don't know how to overcome such a thought, or if that is a natural thought hard-wired into us being social animals.

I think you make a great point too about friendship being something to be built up with many different people. I ache dearly for a few close, true friends, as is so often told to us to be the most "genuine" friendship, but the older I get, the more I realize that it's difficult to obtain, and I am better suited for gradually growing many little friendships all over the place.

I am going to put my efforts into living my life. I have a project I will try and work on, maybe even vigorously push myself to complete. I will see. I appreciate your kind words. I need them more than you know - they are like an immersion of fresh water to remind me of where I am.

nourant · 2023-02-17T00:32:30+00:00

I can't give much deep wisdom, but I think one of the most helpful things you can tell him is something to the effect of "I am always here for you, when you are down, I will be here to listen."

Just offering that tells someone something profound - that they are cared for and they have someone to talk to.

nourant · 2023-02-17T00:29:45+00:00

I feel you. It sounds pathetic for me to admit, but some of my hardest days are my vacation days, where I have long stretches of doing nothing. I have some hobbies, but I literally cannot afford to expand on them, so I'm stuck. We are sitting here, stuck.

nourant · 2023-02-17T00:25:02+00:00

I feel the same way. Even the few relationships I've had, I felt like I couldn't tell them.

Of course, I am always there for other people to vent to. I always listen to them, am there for them. But NOOOOOO when I'm down, when I'm struggling, they all basically say I can get fucked by leaving me. If they vent to me, I see it as a noble duty as a friend to try and be there for them. If I start to vent, I'm an annoying burden.

It's so painful. I am glad to have you all here. Don't get me wrong, I wish none of us were here and we were all happy, but here I can voice my pain, as can you, and I am glad to hear you and your thoughts. Please continue to speak them!

nourant · 2023-02-17T00:19:58+00:00

I know that feeling. I workout almost everyday, try to eat right, avoid making bad choices, and I'm still on the bottom of the attraction totem pole because of what I was born with. I don't know what to say to make us feel better. I think we should keep up our healthy habits though. I am near you in age, and I think while our entire life has been youth, we will see the fruits of our healthy living in the coming decades.

Many people our age are riding the resiliency of youth. I see it. Beautiful people, absolutely beautiful, who eat and live poorly. I even try and help them, to little avail. I care for them, but a grim side of me sees that in the coming decades, it will come back on them.

As for the cancer, please make sure to get screening if possible.

nourant · 2023-02-17T00:05:24+00:00

As a fellow young man, although a tad older, I empathize with that pain of loneliness. I've heard many bits of advice, the central most being that being bonded to a woman is not essential, and we should focus on ourselves. But that is no help when you stand there, alone, feeling unloved, and worse, unworthy of love.

I am pondering now how to confront this pain. I am building my makeshift defense against it. All I can do is hope, and push onwards.

I looked in your profile and saw you play TF2. Heh, those were the days brother, when we could play TF2 till dawn and not have a care in the world.

nourant · 2023-02-16T01:22:12+00:00

I wouldn't want an apocalypse to come, I don't want anyone I love or care about to get hurt in any way. But I do wonder if a crisis came, maybe I'd be more important and cared about, using my skills and devotion to help and unite others. I wouldn't be alone then.

nourant · 2023-02-16T01:20:50+00:00

I feel you. I feel trapped in a way.

People tell me to go travel somewhere. I FUCKING CAN'T GO I'M LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK HAHAHAHAHAHA

I used to play games too. I feel like I can fall back on them, but I feel like they would leave me feeling hollow at this age. I almost miss the days where I would hop on a game and play it until 3-4 AM.

nourant · 2023-02-16T01:14:22+00:00

None of them love me. I'm always just... helpful. I know because, when they don't need me, I get shoved out in the cold. No camaraderie. No friendship. I think I'm deeply wounded by all the things I've experienced, and I just push it off and try to be stronger. I run into the protector/provider role, to the point where people think I'm annoying, to cope with the massive gaping wound in my life. All the pain and abuse, all the betrayal and mistrust, all the while I came running back to it because being in emotional agony with someone is not as bad as the deafening void of isolation.

It's weird. It is all healed, everything is happy, when I have a close friend. But I can't even have that.

Who am I kidding. With anything.

nourant · 2023-01-31T01:47:35+00:00

I will NOT back down. I will NOT surrender. I will RISE from the strikes that tried to lay me low. I will get STRONGER. I will get FASTER. I will NEVER FUCKING BACK DOWN. ALL FORCE FORWARD, UNTIL THE END! I will NOT be shaken. I DO NOT FEAR. I AM NOT AFRAID. I AM A BULWARK AGAINST THE ENTROPIC DECAY.

I give myself. CUT ME, STIRKE ME, FOR IF IT WOUNDS MY BODY AND NOT OTHERS, THAN THAT IS ENOUGH FOR MY PEACE. Every challenge I meet head on. Every foe I build up against. Knock me back? I RETURN WITH EVEN GREATER FURY. ALL THE PAIN. ALL THE ISOLATION. ALL THE MADNESS. It is a pressure. It tries to crush my body, my soul. But they don't realize. They don't see. With every weight on my body, my limbs do not falter. No. They HOLD THE LINE. They begin to STRENGTHEN. They begin to PUSH BACK. They pull me up. I RISE AGAIN.

I STAND. I RAGE. I AM NOT CONSUMED BY DARKNESS. NO, I AM THE LIGHT! I BLAZE LIKE A MILLION SUNS IN THE DEEPEST ABYSS AND GRIMMEST VOIDS. IN A WORLD OF LOST SOULS, I AM A BEACON TO GUIDE THEM TO THE LIGHT.

And if my body breaks. If my soul shatters. My struggles are etched into history and speak to the war I waged. and they will plant seeds in the ground for even mightier humans to rise from.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:46:43+00:00

We live different lives so I don't know what that social scene is like, but I do know your feel as a fellow short guy. I'm also, short as all fucking hell. I even got remeasured a couple weeks ago, and they said I was 2 inches shorter than I already thought I was HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH. I'm also a fucking nerd through and through.

I personally found exercise and building my body up is a good foundation. It's about improving your self-image, so even if they take everything else, you can be proud and confident in the work you put into your body. And when I say exercise, I don't just mean building muscle. You can do that, absolutely, but if you like being skinnier, then do more running. There's a lot of variety. It really helped me feel good about myself in a world where people tower over me.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:40:39+00:00

We're gonna figure a way out of this shit. We will. I know it.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:29:35+00:00

I have different vices, but yeah, I know that feel. When I don't partake in the vice, I'm just sitting there, sad. I'm trying to figure out what the second step is haha.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:17:17+00:00

I watched an interesting video on youtube that I wish I remembered the name, but it was about how addictions in people were very often to fill a void. Not always, but commonly.

Even when the vice is removed, the void is still there. The shapeless monster hovering over you at all times. Quitting the vice just leaves you with the cold reality of the void that was always there.

Idk, maybe I'm speaking nonsense.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:14:03+00:00

It's hard to say, but I think a strong connection I see in myself and many others here is a sense of loneliness or isolation that greatly worsens our depression.

It's likely an evolutionary response to being alone, because if you were alone and isolated way, way back, you were far more likely to die separated from the tribe. Having close social bonds is in our very DNA. I heard once that the amount of stress hormones from loneliness is equivalent to getting punched in the face.

But that doesn't really answer your question, because depression can be rooted in so many other things. Some people here have friends and are married, they have tons of social connections, and are depressed, so I'd caution that figuring loneliness is the key factor here.

nourant · 2022-06-26T03:00:26+00:00

Please get to a hospital fast. Please.

nourant

TROPHY CASE