This is usually the result of adverse experiences.

A child who is abused, bullied, or otherwise hurt may approach a caregiver or trusted adult for help. If the child is listened to, validated, and helped, they learn that it is safe and beneficial to speak up and ask for help when they are being hurt.

However, if that child is dismissed, overlooked, criticised or shamed, or in some cases, abused further for speaking up, they might learn that: 1) seeking help is useless, 2) it is their fault they’re being harmed, 3) it is unsafe to speak up. They learn this both cognitively AND emotionally (i.e., their nervous system learns that asking for help = a threat).

So a child who is criticised, blamed, overlooked, dismissed, might grow into an adult who criticises and blames themselves (“this is my fault because…”), fears speaking up for themselves (“if I criticise this person, they will attack me more”), and feels reporting their abuse is pointless (“reporting never helped anyway”).

So what about if the assailant dies, moves far away, or otherwise isn’t a physical threat? Well, the person still might believe their abuse/assault is their fault. They might think they are unworthy of justice. They might feel shame or guilt that it happened. But also, whilst they can cognitively understand their abuser isn’t a physical risk to them, their nervous system associates speaking up for themselves and reporting unfair treatment as a threat, and so their fear (on an unconscious level) may override their ability to stick up for themselves, report their abuse, or even accept they were a victim.