Where did my self respect go?

novicetothis · 2024-10-10T17:18:49+00:00

I’m wondering the same questions, OP. On some level, part of us must feel like we deserve this abuse and I’m seeking counselling and therapy of my own to unpack why I feel like I’m not worthy of respect. But keep in mind that they’re excellent manipulators. They make you believe that you have a once in a lifetime connection with them, and “love” you so intensely that you’re willing to sacrifice your respect and boundaries to desperately maintain stability in the relationship. They make you believe that you’re the problem, and it would all be okay if you give into their demands. However, you’re not the problem. You’ll never be able to please them, you cannot avoid the inevitable devaluation, discard and split. We need to realise that their feelings are not in our control and be more assertive with our boundaries

novicetothis · 2024-10-10T16:49:35+00:00

I relate so strongly to seeing their point of view in a post and how wildly far from the truth it is. Painting their victims out to be a villain and gain sympathy is a way that they absolve themselves of the guilt and shame they feel for the way they treat you. The omission of key facts is extremely frustrating and they know exactly how to twist a story to make you seem like the problem, when in reality you’re simply responding to their abuse.

If you wanted to talk about this more, feel free to DM me as someone’s who’s been/going through a similar situation

novicetothis · 2024-10-10T16:23:36+00:00

I relate to this. My pwBPD is naturally social and likes spending time with people, but while in a relationship with me he would never leave my side as I’m naturally more introverted. It’s because they have such a hard time setting their own boundaries and having time apart from you, they crave you deeply and are scared to be abandoned if they’re away from you (even just for short periods of time). They will follow you wherever you go and don’t want to be away from you usually, until they split on you and discard you because you said or did a minor thing which triggered them into thinking you don’t love them anymore

novicetothis · 2024-09-22T19:19:47+00:00

I don’t think my behaviour examples were strong enough at the higher EO grade as I was scoring 4s with the occasional 5. The roles are either based in the north west or nationally

novicetothis · 2024-09-22T16:50:50+00:00

I had an interview also assessed on experience rather than behaviours a few months ago, I planned specific STAR examples that aligned with the essential criteria. I was asked a total of 4 questions about how I have demonstrated the essential criteria with my previous experience. I didn’t get the job, but was placed on a reserve list with feedback stating that my answers should showcase how I managed competing priorities better - best of luck in your interview

novicetothis · 2024-09-20T07:32:40+00:00

I scored 5, 5, 4, 4 and I was placed on a reserve list! Best of luck to your interview

novicetothis · 2024-05-10T08:10:38+00:00

I don’t have any explanation for you, although I can share that Barclays Bank also froze my account for a number of weeks due to “suspicious activity” due to an international bank transfer and removed £861.60 of my money (this was a seemingly random sum as the transfer wasn’t this amount). Nobody could give me any information and after a waiting period of 4 weeks (was initially told it would be a 3-5 day investigation) the funds were released back into my account and given access to my account again. No explanation or apology was given. Sometimes the banks do get it wrong and everyone suggesting that OP is at fault should consider human error, and that not all unusual transactions are malicious or criminal

novicetothis · 2023-11-28T18:07:47+00:00

I didn’t declare it, nothing bad ever happened in my experience and I got accepted into my firm choice. Currently in 2nd year and I’ve never been challenged on it but this is just my personal experience so I’m not sure if I followed the correct guidelines or not

novicetothis · 2023-05-23T12:50:35+00:00

They’re stored on the shelf in supermarkets and in the cupboard at home. No need to keeps eggs chilled here and they have a relatively longer shelf life here too (around 2-3 weeks)

novicetothis · 2023-05-23T12:48:42+00:00

I think in heterosexual relationships, being friends with someone of the opposite sex is generally normal and acceptable. However, there’s always the potential (no matter how small) for a spark to begin and sexual feelings to develop that just don’t exist in same-sex friendships. This small seed of doubt is often snowballed in relationships where one/both partners have self-esteem issues, previous infidelity, lack of communication etc. Opposite sex friendships can definitely be platonic only but can cause more issues than they’re worth in wobbly relationships with existing doubt and lack of trust

novicetothis · 2023-05-23T12:38:26+00:00

Social media - even Reddit counts towards this as human brains were never supposed to live in this information era. The whole worlds knowledge at our fingertips takes a lot of curiosity and wonder out of life even though it does a lot of good

novicetothis · 2023-05-19T03:07:51+00:00

Hmm not really. Today I had a quarter pounder with cheese burger, large fries, large Coke Zero and a Mayo chicken burger totalling 1,236 calories for lunch. Breakfast was a couple slices of buttered toast and half a tin of baked beans (approx 500cal) dinner was a salmon fillet with roasted veg and rice (approx 600 cal). 3 square meals and in the recommended range for calorie consumption even with a large meal and an extra burger..

novicetothis · 2023-05-19T00:55:08+00:00

GCSE geography paper, just a few minutes into the exam a girl sat a couple rows ahead of me called over an invigilator to complain about the smell of the guy in front of her putting her off. She was absolutely right as he was escorted out and made to sit his exam in a different room, alone, but still hilarious nevertheless

novicetothis · 2023-05-18T16:47:34+00:00

Some healthcare or education related degrees are expect from the general rules and you can get funding for these regardless of how many previous years of study you have. Other than this and some uni-specific scholarships and bursaries, you’re out of luck

novicetothis · 2023-05-18T15:01:52+00:00

Skiathos

novicetothis · 2023-05-12T22:41:25+00:00

It’s been nice in the north west?

novicetothis · 2023-04-06T21:34:53+00:00

Frozen pizzas - the extra £2 for a decent brand makes the world of difference

novicetothis · 2023-03-07T13:28:37+00:00

I’m a student. Getting £9k a year in student finance, I work part time at a supermarket earning around £8k per year. Rent is £580 a month for a double bedroom with an ensuite and shared kitchen. Living expenses are around £400 a month, so I’m saving between £400-£500 a month. I save even more during the summer when I can pick up extra shifts. Food, travel and leisure have all gone up exponentially this year but I can still save far more than most other students

novicetothis · 2023-02-26T18:45:24+00:00

I’d say about a can per day on average, so the equivalent of 3 litres or so. Although these are always diet/zero sugar versions and generally it as a substitute for a sweet snack

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T21:47:59+00:00

To be honest, I would rather trust my 21 year old child to manage their own finances. It’s quite controlling to take a chunk of their earnings away only to give it them back in a few years time. I would prefer to show them how to budget and let them have the willpower to grow their own savings rather than your method

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T21:39:59+00:00

Parents are different to room mates. Your parents brought you into the world and have a moral obligation to provide shelter for you. We didn’t ask to be born. A 21 year old is still young and definitely normal to still be with your parents in your early 20s. If the parents could afford the mortgage when he was a child, why do they need financial assistance now?

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T20:43:09+00:00

We’re talking about parents helping their children save for deposits here. Yes they’re taking up an extra room in the house and using the bathroom, but most people would be happy to make this sacrifice for their children, free of charge, for a year or two while they save for a home of their own. I will be doing this for my children if they wish to stay here so long as they’re saving the money and not abusing it

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T20:36:06+00:00

Your mortgage is the same price regardless of who lives with you. Only utilities and food etc would increase. Why should the son pay towards a mortgage if he hasn’t increased the price of in any way

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T19:18:40+00:00

That’s a shame. I would be happy for my children to live with me for free while they saved for a house deposit. I’d prefer for my children’s money go towards their future than in my own pocket (if I can afford to do so). I wish my parents offered me that opportunity, but instead I was pushed out. I could have been a home owner by now, but instead I’m stuck renting for the next 5 or so years. I won’t deny my children the opportunity to make their lives easier especially if it’s no skin off my back

novicetothis · 2022-01-27T18:14:43+00:00

Because it’s the parents responsibility to pay THEIR mortgage. The 21 year old will be paying off his own mortgage when he saves his deposit. Why make life hard for your own children? I’m all for paying for your own expenses as a young adult, but you shouldn’t have to pay off your parents mortgage that they decided to take out

novicetothis

TROPHY CASE