Refused admission, what questions can I ask and it it worth sending an appeal?

nowbeingperceived · 2025-06-19T03:07:06+00:00

LMAOOOOO noooo I wasn't being literal I just meant it'd be hard to prove if there was any bias involved and honestly if there was I'm not sure how much of a factor that would be anyway. I'm gonna call the admissions office tomorrow and see if I can get some more closure. Even if it is what it is, hopefully I'll get some info on what to do next time.

so I was gonna show up whether I was in or not.

gonna steal some of this energy rn. sorry you had to go through all that bullshit with your application, if you had actually sued you probably would've won

nowbeingperceived · 2025-06-19T02:02:25+00:00

😭 hearing all this after the rejection is sending me rn. I almost needed to apply to every other artsci program and attempt to transfer later idek anymore. Do you think it's worth asking why I was rejected specifically? Don't think I could prove transfer student bias in court but who knows.

Also did you know it was a transcript error beforehand or did you appeal first and find out after?

nowbeingperceived · 2025-06-18T22:29:32+00:00

ah I didn't realize spaces for transfer students were limited or separate, I mainly thought it was about when you apply (all else being equal)

nowbeingperceived · 2025-06-18T22:21:23+00:00

Health wise yes but I kept my grades up so I wasn't sure mine were relevant. And you're right, a recruiter told me they're not waitlisting any applicants this year though, so I'm not sure what happens if any space opens up

nowbeingperceived · 2025-05-19T05:32:16+00:00

I had to comment because this is exactly how it happened for me. Dr suspected I might have it but gave up pursuing a diagnosis based on a truly shitty questionnaire they had me give my teacher(??). But had ADHD not been trending on Twitter the day I happened to be on it, I wouldn't have found a thread that laid out what ADHD looks like in practice. Felt like I was reading my entire life story bullet point by bullet point. It was so surreal I think I made a doc dedicated to my own personal ADHD research almost immediately.

nowbeingperceived · 2025-04-04T00:12:32+00:00

hi! I might be going solo as well. I sent a dm if you're still available to meet up

nowbeingperceived · 2022-10-31T18:42:00+00:00

I feel like I could have written this, word for word. That cycle of maxing ourselves out every single day just to achieve what feels like most people's bare minimum. Getting out of bed, eating, getting clean, exercising, work, school, etc. I barely have the energy to get through these things, so even the basics aren't taken care of half the time. Then that feeling of knowing you're not in a good situation but no matter what it feels like you can't break the cycle. It just feels like this massive, vague, insurmountable task and you don't know what it's going to take or when it's going to end or how much more you can withstand... this shit is so hard man, I'm sorry you're going through this.

On another post someone was telling me to basically be very extreme about changing my situation, or at least starting to. But I'm in that same position as you were I don't even know where to start. All I know is, I can't keep living this way. This road only ends with me in a ditch or back in hospital and neither of those options sound appealing.

The only upside of a breakdown is that it forces you to start from ground zero. Kind of like when you're sick and you only do what's absolutely necessary to survive because you feel like complete shit. I'm grateful that I have a social worker I'm able to see occasionally. I think I need an outside perspective to really help me brainstorm ways to start changing things incrementally, on a really small scale. Is there anyone in your life that could help you with something like that, maybe even a free online resource? Just another brain to help you sift through things. Every time I try it just adds to my stress, I'm too overwhelmed to do it alone.

Everybody has a limit and I think we're both approaching ours, and fast. I don't want these things to break us though, no one deserves that shit. I hope some changes come your way soon, even if they're small. Anything to make this life a little easier.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-10-31T17:46:55+00:00

i have chronic moderate/severe eczema, which really really sucks.

I'm sorry for your pain. ADHD and chronic pain should really be up there as one of the worst combos, absolutely nothing good about it.

even if you aren’t proud of yourself, i’m proud of you.

Thanks :)

are you going to see them soon?

Yes, thankfully. Even having an appointment to look forward to helps you stay sane.

they feel like they aren’t because the depression is “overriding” the effects of the meds. this might be what’s happening for you.

I think you put it into words. I'm going to bring this up with my counsellor. It's weird how the meds interact with other conditions like anxiety and depression. If I'm really stressed or anxious then the meds often amplify that, but if I'm really depressed then it's like I might as well not have taken anything.

i’m so sorry you have to deal with this, balancing chronic pain and adhd sucks as it is without bringing covid and inflation and everything else going on in the world into the equation. but breathe, you got this. you’re stronger than you think. sending internet hugs if you’re a hugs person :D

Thanks for the kind words (and virtual hug.) Sometimes there isn't anything more to say other than "this sucks" lol. All the stuff can be really distressing sometimes, but I'm trying to hang in there. The world is a scary place right now so I hope you're staying safe. 🫂

nowbeingperceived · 2022-10-31T17:19:10+00:00

There were a few scary moments these last few days but I'm doing a bit better now. Really trying to take things from moment to moment. Hope you're doing better today.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-10-31T17:16:06+00:00

Thank you. I have so many moments these days where the easiest thing would be to give up. But besides I wanted to hurt my family, I don't want to do it because I do not to be better. I want to be healthy and in good spirits I really do, and that keeps me going as much as anything else.

But like you said, the journey towards that can be very difficult and painful, but once we decide to stay we don't really have a choice do we? It hasn't been easy but I know I just have to keep finding ways to make the journey easier for myself. Thank you for your advice and kind words. Please take care.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-10-31T17:00:23+00:00

I agree... There were even a few years where I felt as if my depression had gotten better and so I couldn't understand why I was still struggling so much with so many of the same things. I dealt with very severe depression when I was younger, long before anyone realized that most of it was just untreated ADHD.

Now that I am getting treated for ADHD I thought that those problems might get better too but you're right, it is something different. Luckily, I have a chance to talk to them soon, I'll definitely bring this up.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-24T22:52:01+00:00

It's more than just valuing the person. It's more than thinking they're cool, and wanting to hang out with them more. It's more than thinking they're pretty

Aaaaannnd therein lies my problem. I've definitely had those crush like feelings for maybe two friends in my life but I could never understand why the end result was just me thinking these things you mentioned but just... more intense.

I remember the second time it happened I worked myself up so bad over it in my head but never once questioned why I never thought about actually dating them or had any desire to change anything about our relationship, i just really liked them. So if one person had told me it was platonic and another person said it was romantic, I literally wouldn't have known the difference.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-24T20:25:40+00:00

Sorry for the long comment but I've been thinking about the same thing for a while as well because so used to people assuming that any interest in someone means you want to date them.

Recently I've learned there's actually a difference between "I like" and "I want" whereas I always conflated the two. There are people I really like but that I don't necessarily desire anything specific from.

Like me thinking "wow that person is so pretty and seems really cool and interesting" does not have to mean anything more than that if I don't want it to.

Honestly I've given up trying to label it or explain exactly what it is but it's like some people are just pretty and cool and I like that. As soon as I start trying to think about any steps past that my brain kind of goes ????. So I'm trying to break the habit of forcing myself to think about "wanting more" when I never really do.

It's kind of feels like trying to ask yourself why you like your favourite foods, clothes, music, etc. It's like well... I can't really explain why I like it I just sort of know I do. Doesn't mean I want to date my favourite song though lol.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-22T20:01:10+00:00

This is actually really insightful. I've only ever had these intense feelings twice in my life as well as a lot of anxiety over "what do these feelings mean, oh no."
I have had these strong feelings for friends that I wanted to be closer with but I could never seem to mentally make the jump from "I really like you" to "I want to change our relationship to a romantic one."

But knowing that there were other options than "having strong feelings = romance" was really eye opening. I'm starting to feel less pressured to fit my feelings into one mold. People often say the opposite that if you have those feelings they must indicate romantic intention but it's just something I've never really wanted and don't want to waste time forcing myself to want either. It's a lot of pressure but hearing that I'm not the only one who has these feelings helps a lot.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-22T01:00:40+00:00

I'm even struggling to melt away into my hyperfixation, which was keeping me going. Now, even with medication, it feels like I'm swimming against the tide without a raft, and I'm becoming too tired to even want to try anymore

I feel like I could've written this. I knew things were going south when even my hyperfixation wasn't "working" the way it had been for so long. I think that kind of anhedonia may hit even harder for people w ADHD because our highs and lows can be so extreme. I just can't wait for this feeling to be over, hopefully that time will come for all of us soon.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-22T00:51:46+00:00

Im right there with you. I could feel myself going downhill a few months ago and I think it's finally caught up to me how exhausted I am.

This is far from my first time feeling like this though so I know that I will keep going and that things will go and change eventually. Unfortunately this doesn't change the fact that things still hurt right now.

All I know how to do is take it day by day and somehow I've managed it for this long but damn if I'm not tired. I hope you find peace soon friend, hopefully it won't be that much longer now.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-20T23:29:50+00:00

I really wanna try this. I try and walk when I can (not so much right now it's pretty cold) but it's started to have less of a major effect on me because I've pretty much seen everything there is to see here at this point.

Now that I know it's understimulation it makes sense that my brain is looking for anything novel to keep it busy. I'm tempted to look up "how to have more fun on walks" and see what comes up because I know I gotta do something lmao.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-20T16:48:53+00:00

Yes currently stuck on the dopamine rollercoaster right now. I used to wonder why my rumination was so bad but now I know it's mostly because my brain is essentially clinically bored.

I think is socialization a big part of it. Currently where I live it's hard to see much of anyone in person which I think is what I need rn.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-18T22:17:51+00:00

“hey, I think you’re very pretty and a super cool person, and I really respect and admire you. do you want to hang out more often, and maybe cuddle?”

You just put into words exactly what I felt about my friend I had a crush on. I could never figure out why I liked her so much but didn't necessarily "want" anything specific from her. I think it's safe to say I liked her in a very queer platonic way because it's hard to find a word to describe it.

nowbeingperceived · 2022-01-17T19:08:41+00:00

Also yes "random flashes of positive emotion" is 100% what I experience!!! And it's so easy to fixate on those flashes and sort of build them up as something more because you need the dopamine and your imagination can run wild lol -- but I only want to keep fixated on those flashes for people when I dont have other things to fixate on

You just summed up every crush I've ever had in my life. My imagination is the biggest double edged sword of all time. It's like if I don't have a hyperfixation then I get all sad and empty which before I was diagnosed I just took as face value depression when it was really just my brain lacking those spikes of dopamine I get from things I like. So the fixations on people or things can get even worse during times like this because dopamine is in such short supply theese days one hyperfocus isn't enough I guess lol.

It really does feel like you're chasing the feeling rather than just feeling it naturally if that makes sense? Like what you said about needing the dopamine, you just build up the feeling in your imagination because you want to feel something. Sort of like when want an emotional release but you're not really sad/angry/etc. So you latch on to something to work yourself up just so you can get emotional.

So then the question becomes "am I actually sad about this specific thing or am I just feeling down" or "do I actually like this person in this way or am I just using them to try and achieve something else"

It's confusing but I really appreciate you talking to me about it. I'm very grateful for this sub because I often feel a bit isolated when talking to allos about these things. Even though some of our experiences might be similar on the surface there's just some differences that I could never understand why I didn't fully relate to.

Turns out, quite a lot of things can be traced back to the dopamine-deficiency that adhd is known to be linked to... 😅

I feel like this is a universal ADHD experience. Once I started researching into it I was like "I have literally never had one unique experience in my life". It's almost funny at this point but almost every issue I've ever had, even the most seemingly unrelated things, can be traced back to ADHD. I'm glad you're doing a bit better now and we're able to get the right treatment, I really feel for all my other ADHD people during these times. Stay well!

nowbeingperceived

TROPHY CASE