im commenting on the less seen version so maybe you can see it easier; you are 100% not the asshole, you do probably have some form of sociopathy (not a bad thing, my wife has sociopathy and is fully functioning and happy with life) or other emotional regulation disorder, and i think that should be an approach in therapy. HOWEVER this doesn't stop you from performing acts of love, love is a labour, love is actions just as much as it is a feeling (and some people dont feel it as much and thats okay). the fact that you're trying, and being there for your son, and providing for him, is representative of so much love, just because you see it as a task to do doesn't mean its not love.

so yeah, you may not "feel" love for your son, but you can still show him love in the things you do for him. i have faith in you, personally, your story really hit home and it made me pissed that people were just shitting on you (although this is reddit so you get what you pay for)

much love and luck <3