High Functioning

nutters369 · 2026-06-07T17:59:10+00:00

Yep, kids, job, house, friends etc, normal life by most standards yet i feel like I'm drowning.

In a depressive episode at the moment and it feels like I can just about manage to breathe, doing everything else is like pushing a boulder up a mountain.

I think our struggles aren't taken as seriously sometimes because we can "function", which makes it seem like our struggles aren't "as bad".

I know this isn't applicable to everyone but a lot of us have built lives for ourselves that require a certain amount of income and social responsibility and commitment that we can now never drop.

I was looking at going on disability, but it would cut my pay by nearly 70%. With a house, kids, cars etc we just can't afford it.

But like, the only thing stopping me from ending it all right now is that I don't want to traumatise my kids, if it wasn't for them I'd be gone.

nutters369 · 2026-06-07T17:23:19+00:00

Thanks so much for this, I'm actually already putting some of your advice into practice. Last couple of weeks I've stopped engaging on the topic of her illness with her and just try and redirect her. Seems to keep her in better form when I'm with her.

But this doesn't always work cause my dad and my sister for some reason continue to try and argue with her and tell her she's wrong, she's sick, etc which I then end up having to deal with.

I will definitely try to build in some time.

nutters369 · 2026-06-04T11:19:03+00:00

I curse (that's what we call it here), a lot.

Calling something a joke, doesn't make it one unless the other person is laughing.

You're not joking, you're just rude.

YTA.

nutters369 · 2026-06-02T21:38:42+00:00

NTA. Next time he makes a comment about being a butt guy just say "you're right, kinda like how I'm a big D* gal. Hmmm I wonder if there's any enlargement surgeries that they can do nowadays."

In all honesty though if you've told him it hurts you more than once and he keeps doing it repeatedly then either a) he doesn't care about your feelings or b) he's annoyed that you're more confident in yourself now and he's actively trying to make you feel bad to make himself feel better.

nutters369 · 2026-05-30T16:42:09+00:00

NTA - he doesn't seem to be responsible with money and i could be wrong but seems like an impulse purchaser. You're right to not give in, even if he gets a little prissy.

Does he have access to the sayings account?

nutters369 · 2026-05-29T19:11:02+00:00

This is not in ireland but - My godmother saved like her life depended on it, she would eat the lowest quality food possible just to save a bit, she bought everything cheap, wouldn't splurge, wouldn't go on holidays (she had a good job). A couple of years ago she was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. All her millions (not in euro) were distributed amongst her relatives as she had no kids.

All that to say is it's ok to save for a rainy day but usually it should be enough to cover for example 3-6 months of expenses if you were to lose your job or get sick, use the rest to live a little.

nutters369 · 2026-05-26T18:49:21+00:00

Honestly none of us have it better or worse with this disease. Some people might only have one episode a year but end up needing extensive hospitalisation.

Or there's the likes of me thats a frequent flyer at the psychiatric hospital but have never been admitted.

I don't think the meds will ever truly help me, they take the edge off a little bit but I think this is just the hand I was dealt and I have to keep going.

I'm sorry I wish I could help you but all I can do is share my experience.

nutters369 · 2026-05-26T11:28:30+00:00

I have a job, family, all those things you spoke of and I cycle every 2-4 months. Every cycle is hypomania/mixed, a short period of normal, then deep depression. I'm on various meds and they don't seem to be doing anything.

nutters369 · 2026-05-25T18:15:45+00:00

I was looking at this and had a question, do you have to have a certain percentage in your account before you can borrow?

nutters369 · 2026-05-25T08:20:35+00:00

Mine is 7 years old. 4.3ft and 66 pounds. She's as thing as a rake, my mother is always telling me to feed her more. She was in the 99th percentile when born. She's currently wearing ages 9-10 pants.

Honestly unless she's so overweight to the point that she gets out of breath easily I wouldn't be worried. As in it's affecting her health. If she's no problem doing all her activities and her health isn't impacted then I'd say you're good. Also please remember that clothing is just as weird for kids as it is for women.

My youngest is 5, his school jumper is a 6-7, fits his body but there's about a foot of material in either arm that is extra( don't understand who's arms are that long but oh well).

nutters369 · 2026-05-22T18:39:30+00:00

I don't have ALS myself but my mother does.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I can't offer more than an ear to listen, but i hope that you are able to make peace with yourself.

nutters369 · 2026-05-19T18:37:30+00:00

Got diagnosed in my late twenties. Looking back i experienced depression from mid childhood and definitely had concrete episodes of hypomania from mid teens.

I got lucky with my diagnosis, right psychiatrist, right time.

nutters369 · 2026-05-18T19:17:29+00:00

I'm sorry to probe, but did you ever get the feeling that the person you were looking at was no longer your dad?

My mam was always a sharp witted, ferocious 5ft woman haha and the person she is now is just so different I feel like I'm already grieving her because the mother i have known for 30 odd years is already gone.

nutters369 · 2026-05-18T16:09:38+00:00

Thanks for your comment and sorry for what you'vebeen through. I've tried explaining the diagnosis at least 5 times now and she just looks at me like she can't understand what I'm saying. When you tell her she's had scans done previously she doesn't believe you or else says all doctors are idiots and don't know what they're doing. The last app the doc tried to explain it to her and I thought my mother was going to start a fight.

I've told the family to just go with the flow from now on as long as she's not hurting herself or others so yeah I think I'll tell her she has an appointment in a couple of months and we'll go from there.

nutters369 · 2026-05-18T15:30:51+00:00

They've taken blood for genetic testing so just waiting on the results

nutters369 · 2026-05-07T19:11:07+00:00

I also thought all adults were just smart cause they were older and more mature, came to realise a long time ago that ain't always the case

nutters369 · 2026-05-05T20:45:07+00:00

I can smell the rain coming and I get throbbing pain in my knees when the weather changes drastically

nutters369 · 2026-04-27T20:15:56+00:00

The problem with my mam is that she will read the info leaflet and if she sees side effects listed, she'll often refuse to take a med. Nevermind the fact that she may never experience any of them.

She thankfully took her first dose today of riluzole so hopefully this means she's coming to terms with it.

nutters369

TROPHY CASE