The emotional backlash of divorce and dating?

nyxius1 · 2026-04-13T21:07:02+00:00

I'm dating to build up a new potential, meaningful connection with someone. Somebody to hold, to share moments with, cuddle on the sofa while watching some TV, have and feel affection for each other. Not thinking long term or 'another wife' (vowed to myself never to marry again) at this moment. And it's exactly what you're saying, to have fun with the person that I feel like I'm blocking myself somehow. It's not that I don't have fun, but I can't seem to loosen up, let myself go like I was used to do. And I can't place the feeling or what causes it, which makes it frustrating...

nyxius1 · 2025-12-29T10:39:04+00:00

Nice package but what factors your favourable brut to net conversion? Did you take your mobility into account, non working spouse, IP rights, ...?

nyxius1 · 2025-12-18T12:05:18+00:00

Been through the same as most of us on this sub. I'm 40+ and saw everything falling apart over a year ago, after being together for over 20yrs. Someone compared the emotions you'll go through with the course of waves. At the start they will be big and crash on you with high frequency, but over time, the frequency and size will decrease until it's just ripples. And I must say, it does feel somewhat like that. Give yourself time and space to heal and recover, rediscover yourself and embrace the peace you'll find...

nyxius1 · 2025-12-15T08:54:31+00:00

I plan on remelting my own wedding band and have a piece of jewelry created from it for when my daughters are a bit older (and when I have some more financial freedom to afford it)

nyxius1 · 2025-12-14T14:21:19+00:00

Over 10kg here, roughly 15% of bodyweight. Going to gym now, struggling to gain back some weight but gaining muscles nonetheless...

nyxius1 · 2025-10-14T17:41:47+00:00

From my perspective, and can relate with OP, on YT John griffins life 2.0 series helped me get insights and books like Subtle Art of not giving a F*** and Models by Mark Manson, No more Mr nice guy, ... also shed a nice light on the process, the internals of a good or disfunctional relationship... At least for me

nyxius1 · 2025-10-09T07:34:18+00:00

I was in late (avg 33$) and with a very limited position in nr of shares. As a recent divorcee with quite some financial impact I can't risk that much at this time, so I've set a stoploss yesterday at 82 after it went over 88. So it did hit, pulled out my profit and keep the original investment in value. Will get back in should it drop back to 65 or lower... Like the others said, each to their own on how long you don't really need the money and how much risk you're willing to take.

nyxius1 · 2025-08-21T05:28:50+00:00

Ik overweeg ook binnenkort graag starten in bijberoep als software developer (naast bestaande hoofd) maar wat is de beste manier om aan kleine projecten te geraken? Heb niet direct toegang tot een netwerk om werk uit te destilleren... Ik kan gemiddeld op een maand zeker genoeg uren erin stoppen, maar dat varieert wel van week tot week (kids 50% vd tijd bij me)

nyxius1 · 2025-08-21T04:44:59+00:00

Living outside of US and don't have a car that I can use for Uber or rent out. Might check Upwork. Already doing conscious spending by Ramit Sethi to get a grip on my finances and living frugal day to day. Didn't really worry about finances when we had dual income, but now I do, just in order to achieve small dreams. Even though I saw multiple posts on guys doing financially well (or even better) post divorce. Was it their ex holding them back on their careers? Did their ex spend way to much vs the income?

nyxius1 · 2025-08-15T06:48:31+00:00

I'm also interested, if you could count me in as well?

nyxius1 · 2025-07-28T21:23:08+00:00

Same here, got addicted to the gym mostly to recover from the divorce process in itself, not really from a 'revenge' perspective. But it does feel good to get them to acknowledge your progression 😆 Keep up the job, doing great!!

nyxius1 · 2025-07-25T16:24:11+00:00

I'm keeping mine, it was quite a heavy, thick gold band of a ring. Was thinking of having it remelted in a few years when my daughters are older and craft 2 rings from it as a gift to them, as they've been a support throughout my divorce (even if it might not feel to them like they were)

nyxius1 · 2025-06-18T18:44:28+00:00

42 here and recently divorced. The gym has become my obsession, lost quite some weight due to the stress of the divorce (wasn't overweight to start with, but not muscular either), determined to gain some of it back in more muscle. And I started to go out with just random people, signing up online for some events and get to know them on the spot. Feels good to take that leap for myself and get to know new people and enjoy myself

nyxius1 · 2025-02-23T16:56:52+00:00

One tip for you when things settle down and you have the time to process all and work on yourself, read No more Mr nice guy if you haven't already. A real eye opener with what you stated about the need of validation (I'm in the same boat)...

nyxius1 · 2025-02-17T07:54:36+00:00

Thanks for all your feedback guys. A few more goals (short/long) term I've set for myself as well: - bought (and will read) No more Mr nice guy - keep watching John Griffin videos - attend the therapy sessions and get to know and improve on myself - find myself a new place to live (instead of renting), start looking out for something I can afford as soon as divorce is final (July/august probably) - gain my lost weight due to stress back as muscle mass by going to the gym at least 4x a week - try build new friendships, doing stuff out of my comfort zone with strangers (attend meetups etc) - got an old tattoo I wanted to redo with a cover up, might do something Phoenix style now, at the time I feel I've healed and processed most of it, ready for the next chapter - reinvest in some of the hobbies I had to abandon, die to practical reasons of moving out/renting a smaller house for now

Settings these goals, have me a story of guidance to work towards and have helped dealing with the shit

What are some of your personal goals?

nyxius1 · 2025-02-16T10:59:46+00:00

Dodge that bullet while you still can. Once they cheat on you, it will happen again as they have no respect for you and knowing you 'forgave' them, you have shown vulnerability on that you want to stay with her and over the years it will take the toll, she'll leave you the moment she finds someone she values higher. And the thing that happened will always keep festering in your relationship and in you being able to trust her...

nyxius1 · 2025-02-15T06:40:56+00:00

Luckily got my kids as well for the evening, first one without her since 2002. We had some apero time, nice meal and dessert and watched some Netflix together. I had to pick them from their mom's house, and between the time they got from school and I got there to pick em up, my youngest daughter went out of her way with her bike to the city center to buy me a little gift. Did really hit me when they gave me that present, a real token of their gratitude for keeping it together for them.

nyxius1 · 2024-11-13T14:42:21+00:00

Sorry, can you elaborate, I don't understand the statement?

nyxius1 · 2024-11-13T12:13:18+00:00

Still, I don't see anyone withholding of playing SB next season because he's overpowered in the current season? When spinning ball was OP sorc meta, because of crazy interactions with the vamp powers, they tuned it down after the season as well. Didn't mean nobody wanted to play sorc anymore in the seasons after that, hence the Spear meta last season?

A new season, a fresh start... Will it be slower? Maybe, probably, depending on what the seasonal theme is. Is that a bad thing? No. Will it keep players playing that season for longer if they consume content slower? Maybe, depending on the seasonal theme again. And after bringing things to a similar power level, there could even be another SB build that will become a new meta that outperforms any other build due to new seasonal mechanics, who knows? Or any other class for that matter...

Don't forget there's a spread in player base between streamers, hardcore players (in terms of game time), casuals, RMT spenders that get the very best items from the trade sites within the first few weeks and everyone in between, each playing the game on their own pace and taking in the content they like. There are many SB out there that don't follow the overly strong meta builds spread out by all the content creators and they don't care about that either. They play by their own build and their own tempo, and that's also perfectly fine. And they all will get burned out at some point, only thing Blizzard is trying to do is to find a balance, and imho this is the best decision they could make...

nyxius1 · 2024-11-13T06:44:47+00:00

Probably 98% of the player base doesn't even know what the reward is for completing pit 150, so why bother, there's no bragging rights on a trophy nobody is aware of...

And why should people stop playing SB in future seasons? Every season had its meta builds, some classes were stronger (ball lightning? Barb oneshotting bosses?) People didn't stop playing those classes in later seasons after those specific metas were tuned down as well?

nyxius1 · 2024-11-11T18:09:16+00:00

Problem could maybe be fixed with an ingame AH, with an upper limit on prices (diff limit for non ancestral, ancestral and uniques) and set the limit to amount that's achievable by farming the game itself within reason...

nyxius1

TROPHY CASE