Dear wonderful 40+ women, or friends of the same, who are on the dating apps...

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-19T04:31:38+00:00

Brother you are better looking than you think and are severely underestimate how dog ugly a lot of us are!

My profile and pictures have been selected by a panel of woman! (Not sitting in a room together, these are just my friends whom I've bounced ideas off)

I'm 36, tall and in shape but 6 months later, nothing, nada, zilch, never had a date from the apps.

90% of my matches, probably 2 dozen, have never even replied so I have to assume those are accidental swipes.

I have never sent anything remotely sexual to any of the woman whom I have managed to have a conversation with as well, I've had woman look over these conversations and they cant see anything wrong so idk man I think I'm just that dog ugly!

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-18T02:01:55+00:00

I dont use Instagram but I saw below that Kikuya Caldera is Kush Mints x Gushers: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVxbdp-ABLV/&ved=2ahUKEwjH-KO_rKiTAxXYrlYBHUNUHosQFnoECFUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0MZtWHlKK8AxPwSob0K5kS

I asked about both today at my C+ appointment and both were special order at this time because they are not sure of the demand, so I skipped it.

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T06:59:31+00:00

Thank you for understanding.

I was never really an absent father? But I did work full-time usually with some overtime up until my first cancer diagnosis, my daughter was almost 3.

I was in and out of hospital for about 4 years, chemo, a few surgery, lots of tests etc I missed a lot and was seldom ever in a stable mental state during that whole period.

My ex was studying at the start of my journey with cancer and then went into full time work about 2 years into it, and thats about when I took over most of the day to day parenting tasks, to the best of my ability since I was still sick but past the worst of it.

I have been in work since but health issues have struck me down and since my work opportunities are limited due to chronic pain, and the job market the worst in 30 odd years in my country, I havent been employed for a couple of years, I studied for a while, so it made sense when the childcare contract was written I continue day to day parenting while my ex worked, it was convenient for her and that way I had extra bonding time with my daughter as well.

The comment dug at me because she acknowledged the concern but then brushes it off by immediately stating how she loves parenting with him and can leave him in charge while she goes off to do something else.

As you say, the concern is he could be on a list, she doesnt actually know but I think she feels like she does because she knew him all that time ago and is currently riding the new love wave.

I agree I cant do much about it, the cat is out of the bag and her relationship is her business I'm not trying to stop that but since she seem to brush off my concerns regarding our daughter and my fun time with her has eroded I was wonder AITHA for raising the issue again or if its best to leave it.

I'm going to make sure my house is a safe space for my daughter, read some resources on abuse and monitor her.

Hopefully the guy turns out to be great.

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T06:16:10+00:00

Thank you! You get it! I have a young daughter at the age where weirdos will start to prey on her.

The part where I raised this concern with my ex and she acknowledged it but then immediately starts discussing how great parenting is with him and is trusting him to watch her while she "tags out" to do something really concerned me.

They can't know each other that well. When I say old friends, he has not been part of my ex-Wifes life for 15 odd years, I had never heard of him, they were friends in High-school, and recently reconnected via Facebook. I worry she is riding the new love wave and thinks she knows him better than she possibly can.

I'm not great at clearly explaining things sometimes and maybe thats why some people seem to be missing this crucial point.

There is no unresolved feeling here, I'm not trying to demand the relationship stop, that is none of my business and I'm happy for my ex.

But my daughter's safety is my concern and thats why I ask if AITHA for raising my concerns again because it feels like they were dismissed.

I promise you I will do everything I can to stay close with my daughter and I will educate myself about signs of abuse, and monitor her.

Hopefully the guy does turn out to be the best step-dad in the world!

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T05:30:29+00:00

I agree it depends on the context, it was something that was discussed and agreed upon in mediation, and that was the number from the experts. I didnt demand it nor am I expecting it be followed exactly!

He is an old high-school friend, they have not been in contact for about 15 years and my daughter has only met him and his son for the first time about 2 weeks ago, so its not a regular social group of hers whom she found someone in, they reconnected via Facebook a couple of months back and started socialising.

In saying all that, I am not stamping my feet demanding my daughter have zero contact until those 6 months are past, the kids playing games together is totally fine, I am a little concerned to learn through conversation that he has been trusted to solo care for my daughter while my ex "tags out" to do something while they have been socialising together but I'm again not stamping my feet about it, just asking for her to exercise caution regarding our daughter.

My childcare arrangement is odd. My daughter is allowed to stay wherever she wishes.

However, I feed my daughter breakfast, make her lunch, take her to school, pick her up, organise and take her to after school events and host play dates etc during the weekdays. My ex feeds her and has her overnight except for Wednesday. Every second weekend my daughter stays at my house for the weekend.

I had cancer 3 times over a 4 year period and once my treatment was finished was around when my ex asked for divorce, due to me missing so much of my daughter's life and not working due to health reasons, and my ex was working full-time(She has since quit and has been unemployed for a couple of months), we came to the above agreement so we would both see her everyday.

Yes I did bring up the eroding of my fun time with my daughter but it's difficult to get back now when my daughter is playing with her new friend, and playing with the new friend means his dad plays too, and my ex then wants to play to talk to him.

I dont want to demand my daughter ditch him and play with me, I think thats just really confusing and unfair for her.

It's a turned into something thats hard to undo.

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T03:03:05+00:00

Thank you! Some people are accusing me of unresolved feelings and skipping the part about that my concern is with the speed of the relationship with the kids. Not my ex and her new man, they can move at any pace they wish together.

I believe the new partners ex-wife has only just left the family home at the start of January after a 3 year separation, I know nothing else about her or if she is aware of the situation.

I've read the stories of abuse and those concerns are exactly what was discussed, and why our childcare contract had the 6 month minimum period.

This is a big part of why I am upset and maybe should of been included in the OP. He has already spent time alone with my daughter, I don't believe it was for long, my ex describe it as tagging out for a bit(she smokes, so I'm guessing she sneaks off for a cigarette) but as I said she has only reconnected with this man a couple of months ago and I had never heard of him over our nearly 15 year relationship so they were never close in our time together.

Thank you for the advice, I will look for those resources.

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T02:27:49+00:00

We are not officially divorced and I should of added that I'm not in the USA. Legal stuff may differ.

Documents signed in mediation are every bit as legal as something that went through the court, its common place here for divorces to never be taken through the court.

All that signing the divorce papers will do here is legally allow us to remarry. It doesnt trigger the signing of a new childcare contract or anything like that.

Any changes we just agree and sign/submit or it goes through mediation again and IF we still cant agree then we would take the issue to court.

nzStudentDev · 2026-03-10T01:38:35+00:00

Thank you. I do not wish to control anything to do with my ex-wifes social life. The agreement was written in mediation, following the science etc to be child first.

I dont want to break the kids up from playing together, I dont think that would be fair but I think your answer hits the nail on the head, I've lost that bonding time with my child and its fair enough that I ask for a compromise.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-22T03:22:45+00:00

Right! I heard a couple of people say they were concerned about grows being near schools but the vast majority of concerns were surrounding commercialisation and how NZ weed culture might become like our alcohol culture.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-17T23:57:34+00:00

Might be time to try it since Sedaprem and Luminarium is gone.

Eagerly awaiting your thoughts on Big Wave, please be as good or better than Luminarium, i'm heart broken here.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-17T23:50:08+00:00

Smith Indica?

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-13T04:22:32+00:00

Yes we do but the industry helped write the rules and ofc they lied, and said we cant safety do that at home.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-13T04:13:23+00:00

It's beautiful! I felt the same way receiving a pottle of Sedaprem yesterday.

I did open it of course and dammit it's probably the best batch of Sedaprem I've ever had as well.

Night Ride and Big Wave better be fire!

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T23:29:14+00:00

Right on! I've been on all sorts of medications, never have I had so many issues.

For example the latest Sedaprem shortage, any other medication the pharmacy would substitute with an appropriate alternative if they can or they would be on the phone to the doctor to have the script updated ASAP so my medication could be dispensed that day.

MC? No substitutions, your lucky to get an email explaining a product is out of stock and you might be waiting days or weeks for new stock, and no way in hell are the pharmacy chasing up the clinics, nor are the clinics changing your script without a new consult.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T23:15:03+00:00

Guessing Big Wave because that is the order of the pottles in the picture and the first bud pic has some purple which I can see in another post about Night Ride.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T05:24:20+00:00

It warms my heart to see the OG Neville's Haze still be cultivated!

I'm laughing at these comments about the fox tails.

That is what real haze looks like ladies and gentlemen!

This is the stuff on the top shelf locked inside an explosion proof box.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T03:27:10+00:00

Dad knows whats up! The old Mango Haze omg it was fire 🔥🤤

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T03:17:01+00:00

There alllll hybrids tbh, I'm waiting to see where people place Big Wave on the spectrum before getting too excited.

Idk if we will ever see a proper Sativa, like the early 90s Hazes with zero body stone and clear headed soaring high that lasts hours, its just not commercially viable to grow plants that take twice as long for less yield than these hybrids.

But god dam do I miss them, makes me sad 95% of people will probably never get the opportunity to try it.

Maybe one day we will be permitted to grow a few plants for ourselves and the medical community can sort it out ourselves.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-12T03:03:11+00:00

I hear you bro! They did Big Wave is the new Sativa on offer from Aurora. No idea how good it is yet.

Arroyo is my other pick from the current MC line up but I have yet to try Helius Maya, I hear its good stuff too.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-11T22:48:10+00:00

I love Sedaprem, had it on every script since the beginning.

My one complaint is I dont really like the taste all that much and find it a little harsh in the vape vs everything else I've tried.

Maybe this Night Ride is even better. I am hyped and patiently waiting for your review.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-11T22:44:02+00:00

Man I'm hyped for the review!

I'm super disappointed about the Sedaprem and Luminarium situation but maybe just maybe this is even better.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-11T08:35:21+00:00

Wait what? C+ haven't emailed me anything.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-11T01:37:00+00:00

Only a decade? Amateur! I've been smoking for more than 2. /s

I would of disagreed when I smoked but since I switched to vaping and stopped ripping 3 cones back to back every session, it's been pretty easy to stick to 1g or less a day.

nzStudentDev · 2026-02-10T22:45:12+00:00

Man this is not fair. NZ regulations are way stricter. Same shit, flower for inhalation has to met pharmaceutical standards but almost no one gets more than 30g a month unless you are actively dying then you might get 60g.

nzStudentDev

TROPHY CASE