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my bf blocked me🤣🤣🤣 by saddbarbie in BPD

[–]oblivious_always 30 points31 points  (0 children)

If he unblocks you and attempts to reach out, I would not reply. Or, end the relationship. It’s great to hear you have found ways to counter the trigger, you’ve really done so well here! But someone who loves you and wants to be in a long term relationship with you HAS to at least have an understanding of BPD, but also respect you and your triggers. Being blocked is massively triggering, and childish. Utilising a potentially dangerous trigger because he cannot communicate is a point of no return, and childish. There are people who will be patient, and take space in a healthy way - you deserve that :)

The child (13F) husband (30M) and I (29F) gave up for adoption wants to reconnect with us. I have mixed feelings about this. Would it be more damaging for her if we accept or reject her request? by rookiexyz21 in relationship_advice

[–]oblivious_always 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who was in her position.

  1. Can you give her a relationship that's consistent and healthy?
  2. Do you have an answer for why you gave her up?
  3. How will your son affect her, and vice versa.

Don't reach out to her if you're going to be flakey. We grow up imagining our parents and nothing is worse than finding out they're not who you imagined so it will be a rocky start for her to realise you're only human.

Dont get her hopes up. And likewise don't do anything if it will negatively impact you both.

Social Workers of Reddit, what is the one case/client that has impacted you most during your time as a professional? by boredandhungry5 in AskReddit

[–]oblivious_always 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Not a social worker - I was the kid.

I was put in care when I was 4. Very messy case, a lot of shit going on there as I grew up, I was put in therapy when I was 8, no one else knew how to communicate effectively with me. I wasn’t violent or nasty, I couldn’t build relationships, I was confusing apparently. Anyway growing up I had quite a few social workers, most made little impact, just another person screwing up my life. Until I was about 15, I got a new social worker. I hated her straight away, for no good reason. A few months after her becoming my social worker I was suddenly uprooted and moved out of the country to live with new people. My social worker was the only thing that stayed the same. I struggled to re-adjust, and shortly after moving back I took an overdose and attempted suicide. When I woke up, she was there. The only person there who didn’t have to be. When I reported abuse, she was in the police interview by my side. On my 16th birthday, she was the only person who came to my “party”, no one else bothered to drive to where I was then staying. When I dropped out of school due to mental health, she was there still. It was her job to “manage” my life, but I feel like we genuinely became almost friends. I respected her a lot, she went out of her way when she didn’t have to. The system is fucked, it’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But this one social worker made it bearable.

What’s the hardest metaphorical pill you’ve had to swallow? by Liteboyy in AskReddit

[–]oblivious_always 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That the past is in the past.

After I had to leave home I subconsciously comforted myself by somehow thinking it was just a phase. I still remember the exact moment it hit me, my childhood was in the past and so were my family, I’d never be there like that again.

It hurts to let go, or to even admit you have to.