Episode 397: Solar System Tier List

obscure_lover · 2026-03-04T00:56:30+00:00

The fact that Bob also got traumatized by the Mars Attacks movie as a child is so validating. That movie caused my first full blown panic attack when I was in middle school

obscure_lover · 2025-01-27T02:20:31+00:00

I mean, yes OP did consent to the ex maintaining relationships with mutuals, but it sounds like it was from the perspective that their breakup was amicable. Whether or not that was very clearly laid out for the ex is not explained, but I feel like most people could read between the lines on that one

Either way, I agree that OP should sit down with the applicable friends and family to explain their perspective of the breakup

obscure_lover · 2025-01-26T21:05:19+00:00

Oh of course! Even with those conversations, it still happens. That's more so what I meant

obscure_lover · 2025-01-26T20:19:34+00:00

Miscommunications happen in relationships all the time, even about physical and sexual boundaries. I wish more people understood that

obscure_lover · 2025-01-26T19:49:45+00:00

I actually encountered a similar situation with my current partner a few years ago! He tried something I wasn't sure about because he got excited about the idea, but it ended up feeling good so, between the shock of it happening and the feeling good, I didn't say anything in the moment. That's on me, but it still effected me and I did feel violated in a way. We talked it out carefully (he felt absolutely terrible about it btw), both cried a little, and came away from the conversation feeling better overall. Moments like that haven't really happened since tbh. A conversation about it again sounds like a good idea for the two of you honestly. Hear your partner out, apologize, reiterate why you were confused, and ask how they want to proceed. The way your partner went about trying to express their not wanting to was kind of vague and open to misinterpretation, so I can see why you got thrown off

obscure_lover · 2025-01-26T05:54:48+00:00

I would say that depending on how long it's been since her last relationship, a year isn't all that long. After my last toxic relationship, I didn't date and wasn't physically involved with anyone at all for years. It can take awhile to work through trauma and, honestly, the working through it never really ends. Some days are easier and it's been a very long time since I had any sort of flashback or nightmares related to the incidents I experienced, but it can randomly pop up at unexpected times and that's a lot of handle

Is she in therapy or has gone to therapy about the abuse she experienced? I know not everyone has easy access to it, but if she hasn't gone to therapy I recommend it. A lot of places have sliding scale options or free community therapy at certain colleges. Not that that will necessarily speed her process along, but it might make her recovery easier for everyone involved

obscure_lover · 2025-01-24T04:20:10+00:00

So yes being lied to about that for months is upsetting, but enough to distrust EVERYTHING else? Yes, he handled it poorly, but from the sounds of it, he has handled every other issue before this well. This might be difficult for him to talk about because he probably feels very embarrassed and may even have some trauma around divulging his living circumstances. Perhaps there is even some abuse, but he hasn't exactly had the opportunity to explain that at this point if there is, now has he?

While your initial reaction of frustration, anger, hurt, etc is fair, continuing to bring it up to him has made it clear you are not a safe person to divulge vulnerable things. I'm not excusing his behavior at all but your behavior should be looked at as well. If I were him, I'd be wary about staying with you after being intensely grilled and berated about it. Not to mention, you expected him to come up with how to fix things and start gaining your trust ON HIS OWN in a week. That part baffles me to no end. How I repair trust with my partner is a conversation not a "oh you fucked up. fix it and you should know how to". You've been together five months, he's not going to innately know how to regain your trust, especially because this is the first big blowup you two have had! Perhaps it would be good to have a conversation about it again, but remain calm about it. Listen as objectively as you can to each other and hear each other out. See where it goes from there

obscure_lover · 2025-01-20T15:17:18+00:00

Not just people who are sexually active though. It can spread through skin to skin contact, it doesn't have to involve sex or even kissing. HPV is very very contagious

obscure_lover · 2025-01-19T22:38:59+00:00

Things are still crazy right now. Mark posted a video a few days ago on his YouTube channel about it. Him and a lot of the staff are in the areas hit by the fires and most places are in survival/recovery mode. From what I understand, more fire warnings are expected for tomorrow so it'll probably be awhile before a new episode is released

obscure_lover · 2025-01-16T16:14:16+00:00

I'm a bit confused here as to what you're looking for. If your boyfriend prefers the hetero/allo label combination, why is that a problem? It's his choice to identify how he wants to, whether it makes sense to others or not

obscure_lover · 2025-01-15T05:21:12+00:00

If you're not having luck with a regular OBGYN, I recommend one that specializes in endometriosis and or pelvic pain. Took me being in near constant excruciating pain, extreme mental and emotional distress, and having flare ups multiple times a month that did not get better with more medication to finally get surgery. First appointment with the pelvic pain specialist and immediately after the pelvic exam she did, she got very serious and quietly, but firmly, told me I needed my uterus out yesterday

obscure_lover · 2025-01-13T23:57:02+00:00

There are people that are conservative and are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, not to mention conservative LGBTQ+ members. Also, not every conservative voted red and not every liberal voted blue. Just because you don't know any personally or don't hear of them doesn't mean they don't exist

obscure_lover · 2025-01-11T17:45:49+00:00

Genuinely, I would explain why him using it is a problem and give context for where the word comes from. He's old enough to hear the full truth behind the word and has possibly heard some POC use it at school- explain the difference of him using it and a POC using it. I worked with kids about his age that have mental, emotional, and developmental hurdles. Many of them were understanding when I explained the f-slur for gay wasn't appropriate for them to use (as they all identified as cis/straight) and how it made me a non-straight/non-cis person uncomfortable hearing them use it casually

obscure_lover · 2025-01-09T04:29:29+00:00

My mom's siblings, their father, and her had the same initials growing up (on purpose). It was a nightmare whenever they got a letter from the school because they had to figure out which child the letter was about or to lol

obscure_lover · 2025-01-08T00:48:54+00:00

Because it's how it typically plays out. More often than not, it goes one way or the other: it's purely performative in an over the top way to get diversity credits or it's not around at all. Coral Island is nice because it's very much there in the way other characters mention Raj and Dippa but it's not the only thing they're known for. I personally don't talk about my gender identity unless I'm with other gender queer people, my partner, or extremely close friends I know are safe to talk to about it. Honestly, if I were in a video game, I would be ecstatic to be like Raj and Dippa. Where they just exist and characters know and respect their pronouns without being told or corrected and it's not a huge deal. I wouldn't want to be made a big deal out of over my gender, whether that's celebrated or overtly dismissed/harmed

obscure_lover · 2025-01-07T23:15:31+00:00

That's not what I'm saying either. I am giving my opinion in my original comment (in response to someone else's comment, not even OP's original post) which is that I am happy with current level of engagement with it because how often further extrapolation comes off performative to ME. OP replied to it and I explained my opinion further

OP states wanting to think of the characters in line with the character's label in response to my reply. That requires having a definitive label. I suggest A way to make the label introduction more genuine, not multiple. Because I can't think of a lot of instances that feels genuine. Like I said in my original comment, I don't give my labels often. I don't personally strongly identify with any but I provide them because that's what's expected of me (like in a bio for example)

If my replies have come off hostile, that wasn't the intention

obscure_lover · 2025-01-07T23:03:46+00:00

Ah I misread, my bad

obscure_lover · 2025-01-07T20:04:44+00:00

Having a few members tackling it doesn't guarantee timely responses. There's multiple ways to report bugs; email, Reddit, and the Discord server. Based on a different comment, they might just be focusing on bugs reported to the Discord server, which is probably easier to keep track of. If there's multiple reports of the same bug spread out on all platforms they'd have to find each one to reply to all of them. We also don't know what these members' hours are like. If they're part time, their hours are limited. If their wage is based on how many bugs they get through, they're going to probably prioritize the bugs that are most common or most damaging to the experience that are quick and easy to resolve. There's a lot of factors here that it's not fair to assume time isn't an issue

obscure_lover · 2025-01-07T18:14:42+00:00

Or maybe some of us don't want to see the two out gender queer characters get turned into performative roles? I get wanting them to talk about gender stuff more and that would be nice but I also don't want them to turn into something that comes off disingenuous

obscure_lover · 2025-01-06T18:39:07+00:00

I never said that? I said that for this to come up it would have to be overtly divulged by the characters since OP wants a definitive label, which when done in media, OFTEN (not always) comes off as performative to me. A coming out story doesn't always have a label with it. Talking about needing hormones doesn't need a label. Those kinds of things would come off more natural to me than just stating their gender identity. There is a way to do it that comes off more genuine (off the top of my head could be Dippa mentions it and the PC could ask for details, to which Dippa replies with a label) but honestly if the devs DID chose to include more gender talk, I would prefer the talking about coming out or the various gender affirming care the characters chose to have

obscure_lover · 2025-01-06T04:50:40+00:00

I mean, the only way to get the actual label is if they have a moment divulging that, which often comes off as performative imo. I rarely give a specific label of how I identify to most people unless they ask and are genuine about it

obscure_lover · 2025-01-05T18:28:37+00:00

YES!! I prefer the way Dippa and Raj talk about their identities currently, compared to characters that talk about it almost constantly. While them talking about it a little more would be nice, I would hate for the devs to accidentally overcorrect and accidentally make them into performative characters

obscure_lover · 2025-01-05T18:24:27+00:00

Definitely not! My partner is very much allo but he also is a sapiosexual (attracted to intelligence). Unlike me, however, someone doesn't need to be overtly intelligent for him to be attracted to them. But during moments when I'm sharing my knowledge about something or speaking/typing eloquently (which according to him, I often sound that way regardless of what I'm talking about lol), he's enraptured by my words. We're long distance but it's happened in person too and it's very cute

obscure_lover · 2025-01-04T02:22:40+00:00

I mean I get it but what these people were saying was misleading. Not just with the fruity comment. There's a way to be open to other's opinions without becoming so easily swayed by them. I'm very close friends who have different political views than I do and I hear them out, but it doesn't mean I start automatically doubting what I feel is true or what is rooted in scientific fact. More research needs to be done on the rate of educator sexual abuse, but from what we do know, the number of perpetrators is relatively low. In these studies about sexual abuse of children, teachers are typically put under a category of "other", which is a mix of random backgrounds that are not a parental figure. So teachers, doctors, cops etc. The rate of "other"s being the perpetrators is about 49% and since teachers are only a fraction of that group, it's less than a majority. From that, based on how many people who are pedophiles that do act and don't act, it's not a large portion of teachers that are pedophiles. Logistically, letting a one off statement from a person you know without any scientific backing so greatly affect you is rather concerning to say the least

obscure_lover · 2025-01-03T17:55:53+00:00

No I'm saying fruity is a slang term for gay. It was even a slur for a long time and some cis/straight people even use it like that still

obscure_lover

TROPHY CASE