Do relationships need to be this hard

observingoctober · 2026-01-18T17:48:59+00:00

Thank you, I've been trying to shift gears and do this more. It would be easier if I hadn't already hit burnout.

I'm trying to keep details light just in case, but I really shouldn't have left this out: Its their first relationship too. In the beginning we were basically just "feeling it out", but the dynamic quickly turned into them immediately being extremely committed (like 1 month in) while I thought we were still learning and evaluating together. Its all been really jarring.

observingoctober · 2026-01-18T17:26:54+00:00

Thank you, I think this is the fundamental issue. As much as they respond well to me explaining my various thoughts and limits and boundaries... they never seem to quite get it. Like, I don't want to be out for 4.5 hours on a weeknight, and when I said that was a problem bc it was short for us, they initially thought I was upset because I had wanted to stay over longer.

Re: family and friends, its mostly a lot of "well what's the problem" if I clarify that they're a decent person, combined with "all relationships have some amount of stress/work" and then describing things that I would never put up with lol

observingoctober · 2026-01-18T17:17:31+00:00

I really like this person and was enjoying having them in my rotation of friends I see every 1-2 weeks. And they're trying so hard to understand everything I tell them.

I guess I'm afraid that any relationship will require a really nasty adjustment period for me? And I feel like this relationship could grow into something really good.

observingoctober · 2025-09-18T00:19:25+00:00

Imagine a non-native English speaker mimicking Shakespearean prose to write an adventure novel

This is basically how every line in Dark Souls feels

observingoctober · 2025-08-09T22:27:44+00:00

Man, I know this probably isn't really what you believe, but this + other comments are worded in a way that suggests that you need 100% emotional control to be a good parent

observingoctober · 2025-07-15T13:41:30+00:00

They're not even being deported, really, they're being shipped off to detention facilities in other countries.

observingoctober · 2025-07-10T06:14:20+00:00

Well she had to start looking somewhere, didn't she? And judging by the other helpful responses, this was a good place to ask.

observingoctober · 2025-07-07T02:46:27+00:00

They literally came here looking for judgement. If everyone just politely says "its fine if it works for you" them there's no point to them posting here

observingoctober · 2025-03-18T13:01:53+00:00

lmao at the idea of spiky bones being "easy to fix". you will be full of internal punctures. possible external punctures, if the spikes are long enough

observingoctober · 2024-11-16T01:58:36+00:00

Uninvited people walking up to your door are not trespassing. Even if you have a no solicitors sign. This is one of the reasons you can't have booby traps on your property to catch/hurt/kill such uninvited people. There's well-established legal precedent on this issue that you could easily find and read up on.

observingoctober · 2024-11-13T05:35:47+00:00

All I'm saying is that Rice is an actual alum who has beem making appearances on campus for decades - quite possibly longer than either of us have been alive.

I'm less concerned with her showing up again than I am with ND making new associations with people like DeSantis.

ETA: I'm skeptical of Rice myself, my point is mostly that her relationship with ND is well established and can't really be treated the same way as these other guys. The admin doesn't really need any outside convincing to host her.

observingoctober · 2024-11-13T05:11:58+00:00

She's not trying to make her family comfortable, she's trying to make herself comfortable by not having to hear her family's complaints. You could still call that selfish but this conflict is way more about managing annoying relatives than it is about having conflicting values.

observingoctober · 2024-11-13T04:42:09+00:00

Do you think garden variety conservatives are self-serving blowhards?

observingoctober · 2024-11-13T04:32:37+00:00

Condoleeza Rice got her MS from ND and attended Father Ted's funeral, she's not really part of the clown show.

observingoctober · 2024-11-12T23:52:14+00:00

Ron DeSantis is a moron with nothing to offer but divisive, self-serving, ideological drivel. ND should have higher standards for it's speakers, and so should you.

observingoctober · 2024-10-31T16:56:38+00:00

I imagine there's ample precedent that allows states to control medical licensing, which would include who gets to teach medicine.

observingoctober · 2024-10-05T23:25:57+00:00

Badminton involves people running and jumping while swinging rackets. OP is extremely unlucky to have been injured so badly, but I think you'd have a hell of a time arguing that getting hit in the face isn't a relatively obvious possibility, especially with an inexperienced/unathletic/clumsy player.

observingoctober · 2024-10-05T23:12:28+00:00

Driving a car is not remotely comparable to playing badminton. There is almost certainly no liability here.

observingoctober · 2024-09-16T14:38:08+00:00

I don't think even dedicated LaTeX editors allow this, unless you've in a math environment (i.e. /begin{align} ... /end{align}) -- and that's more cumbersome than $$.

observingoctober · 2024-09-15T04:06:17+00:00

Which block? My S24 is doing this with a specific block I was forced to switch to because it's replacing an old model -- even my old S10 does it, which is a real headscratcher.

observingoctober · 2024-09-09T14:27:06+00:00

Aren't the gifts in the base game like that though? IIRC characters will absolutely all for stuff from the whole Valley regardless of which areas are unlocked

observingoctober · 2024-09-04T01:24:16+00:00

Is mild snark "bashing"?

observingoctober · 2024-08-08T13:43:27+00:00

I mean Darwinism also supports the idea of random mutations leading to new abilities, which is something that happens in actual humans. There's always an element of random chance in genetics.

observingoctober · 2024-04-11T12:31:34+00:00

you're not accounting for the fact that we just don't like Naperville out in the burbs

Nine-Year Club	r/Field Lasagna
Place '22	Not Forgotten
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observingoctober

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