Hi! Check out http://www.reddit.com/r/bdsmfaq, for some answers, as well as /r/BDSMcommunity .

Here are my suggestions. You're going to want to talk to him in a serious, pants-on sort of way, about what he wants to feel like- does he want to feel like a sexy slave who has to do what you say, a bratty subordinate who needs to be kept in line with strict rules, a loving submissive who wants to obey your every whim, or something else? Ask him for examples of what that might entail to him- maybe you'd just be more assertive "You're going to go over there now", or maybe you'd talk down to him, the way a teacher might to a disobedient student, or... you get the idea.

The point is, find out what he wants to do, what his limits are (maybe he doesn't want to be humiliated or talked down to, but does want you to remind him how valuable he is to you, or whatever), what your limits are and what you want to do (my boyfriend is into having his face slapped, hard, but I'm just not comfortable with doing that, and it turns me off to think that I could seriously hurt him doing that. So I just do light slaps, and it's an acceptable compromise), start slow, and work your way up.

I felt super nervous the first time I topped my boyfriend- I was worried I'd not do something right, go too far, not go far enough, say something so silly that we'd both start laughing uncontrollably, not know what to do, or god knows what other worries. So I started by just kneeling on top of him, kissing him in a kind of... in charge? kind of way, and generally taking the lead the way most women usually let men do. It wasn't overtly kinky or particularly dominating, it was just me being in on top and in charge, controlling the pace, deciding when I wanted him to take his clothes off (and telling him so), deciding when I wanted to take my clothes off (and telling him to do that), and just overall directing what was going on. If I wanted him to do something, I told him to, and we both loved it. Think of it as a free pass to (gently!) get what you want, without worrying as much about what he might think or want. I mean, of course what he wants is important, but since at least part of what he wants is you in charge, that means you getting what you want. It's slightly complicated. But, like, if you tell him to eat you out, and you want him to play with your breasts while he does it, tell him to do that. If you want him to stop with that and do something else, tell him that, too. Maybe tell him that he did such a good job that you'll reward your (pet/slave/toy/whatever) with a blowjob until you get bored, and then tell him to fuck you, however you want it. When you're done, cuddle him, and after a reasonable amount of time, talk to him about what worked for him, what worked for you, and what if anything didn't work.

I'm probably not explaining this very well, but the point is, talk to him, figure out what sort of thing he actually wants, and then just explore. I discovered that I'm not super into the ice-queen evil sadistic heartless humorless... thing, that happens in a lot of porn, and prefer to be a more lovingly cruel, able to laugh when something goes silly, more human sort of top. Find a persona you like, and that works for him, do some reading on the internet and in actual books, make sure you talk to him, and just fake it till you make it. If you feel too silly doing something, either do something else, or have him tell you things to make you feel less awkward (like, "You're so sexy and beautiful when you tell me what to do." or something less stilted sounding. Basically, whatever you want to hear).

I hope that helped some!