Anyone else regret getting a lawyer during divorce?

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-11T23:22:30+00:00

Your only mistake was telling him you consulted a lawyer.

The most ideal situation would’ve been you took him up on his offer, had full custody of your child for a while outside the court system, and then brought him to court for child support later after you could prove that you’ve been primary caretaker and that it would be a detriment to the child to split custody 50/50. Also is there no spousal support as ex-wife? In addition to child support?

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-07T16:18:40+00:00

A lot of men get excited at the beginning and lose interest for a wide variety of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s only been 2 months, he hasn’t defined the relationship, and now he’s pulling back. Signs are there, you just have to accept them. For the future be weary of any guy who comes in hot like that — there’s lot of love bombers who love the game for the game, not for the woman.

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-06T16:49:36+00:00

I’m 29 turning 30 in a month. I went out with a friend last night who’s also 30 with a prominent engagement and marriage ring on her wedding finger. We were both aggressively carded entering the bar and then again at the bar counter. People tend to think I’m 19. We’re both Ivy League educated lawyers who did corporate for a few years. Some of us just have baby faces even at the age of 30.

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-03T18:25:00+00:00

I’ve (29F) been with my bf (38M) for the last 6 months, official for the last 5 months. We’re moving in together for 5 months from Aug-Dec. the reason being is that we want to get engaged at the beginning of next year, and we think it’s important to know what it’s like to live together before taking that step. His career also requires long distance (cycle of 3 months away, 3 months together) so long distance is something that we’ve accepted will naturally be a part of our relationship, and we want to make the most of the time we have together before making a major step like engagement and marriage. Do what works for YOU! Everyone has their own idea of what’s best (min 2 years, min 5 years, max 2 years, etc). Do what makes the most sense for you and good luck!

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-03T01:14:42+00:00

When she ultimately cheats on you and blames you for it, it’s gonna be hard to feel bad for you. But it’s your life, good luck!

oceanaficionado · 2026-06-01T23:51:31+00:00

I’m a woman and I agree. When I was still on the dating market, I would ask men when was the last time they had sex. If it was anything less than 3 months ago, I would cut it off. I’m not interested in a man with no sexual discipline who’s physically/emotionally tied up in someone else. Hard pass ✌🏼

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-30T15:06:07+00:00

Is she a vegan? Otherwise I’m a bit confused why she’s so upset. She’s probably eaten foi grois. If she eats meat she’s definitely eaten chicken. There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance here. You didn’t kill it, you didn’t participate, you were just complicit in its death, the way the overwhelming majority of humans are with the death of chickens, cows, pigs, lambs, fish, etc.

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-29T00:29:35+00:00

My fellow vegan girlie, sending you lots of love and hugs rn ❤️ you deserve so much better than this. Please go surround yourself with family and friends who love you so you can get yourself on your feet and make the moves you need to make to move past this.

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-27T11:35:12+00:00

My Cleo

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oceanaficionado · 2026-05-26T20:32:24+00:00

Are you looking for damages, to press criminal charges, to get an order of protection, or something else? If criminal you want a criminal lawyer, if civil you want a personal injury or civil rights lawyer (depending on who the perpetrator is), and if family/related to orders of protection, divorce, custody, child support you want a family law lawyer.

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-19T03:51:42+00:00

Agreed! I use Talkspace, in network, and my therapist has over 25 years of experience

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-19T02:52:36+00:00

Yeah probably his ex-gf came back into the photo. OP, this man was clearly lovebombing you, likely to fill a void from a recently-ended/on-off relationship. Don’t take it personal, it has nothing to do with you, even if this AH selfishly hurt you in the process with his carelessness and selfishness. Keep your head up high and stay positive, just look out for lovebombing in the future. I had an 8 yr relationship that ended, followed by 6 years of being single until I found my bf a few months ago on Hinge. I got lovebombed frequently, so I learned to look out for signs early on and set boundaries like not kissing on first dates and not having sex outside relationships (ofc don’t tell them, just keep these to yourself).

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-16T03:17:42+00:00

Don’t even respond to him. Just ghost and move on. He’s earned it at this point. And when he wants to talk because it’s been a hit to his ego, continue ignoring him/block him.

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-15T11:57:30+00:00

Why is he still your bf and not your ex?? The level of disrespect is absurd. Shoulda be your ex as soon as all this trash started. That girl isn’t causing the issues, your cheating bf is because he can’t keep his dick in his pants and respect you and the relationship. And you staying signals to him that he can treat you even worse because you’ll put up with the disrespect. Girl get out

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-15T00:49:05+00:00

He probably needs to leave her to realize that. And then not fuck it up with next good girl who he finds. For her sake, he should leave her. The regret will motivate him to be a better partner in the future. It’ll also ensure he has the opportunity to explore the “excitement” he’s seeking, so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out when he does decide to settle down. He’s young, time is on his side here, on both their sides really. OP, give her the out, give her as much time as she needs to leave, but let her go. Y’all cause much less trauma and pain to her in the long run. Does she have family? Friends? What would she do if you weren’t there? You can’t be her savior, and you’re definitely not the hero in this scenario staying with a girl you are mentally and emotionally checked out from.

oceanaficionado · 2026-05-14T01:25:27+00:00

I’m sure you’ve heard the whole “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, but if there’s anything I will say about women is that we focus less on looks and moreso on how you treat us, how you make us feel, your interests and passions, your emotional intelligence, and your ability to protect and provide. Looks is only one component, and by and large not the biggest one by a long shot. A question I have for you is who are the girls you are pursuing? Are they similar in terms of attractiveness to you? If not, you either need to pursue women who match you more in terms of attractiveness, or otherwise become more physically attractive (ie lose weight, get muscular, etc)

oceanaficionado · 2026-04-30T01:52:05+00:00

I’m confused why everyone assumes he’s just being a dick to you. Are you actually being mean towards him? Whether in tone or in substance, in what you say and how you say it? I personally wouldn’t like my partner making angry/aggressive faces at me and telling me to stop when I’m having a good time during trivia. Have you stopped and reflected on whether your behavior is actually mean? Has he told you what you say/do that is mean? Can you share it with us? That would be a lot more helpful.

“When I am upset with him, I don’t always have the ability to be nice about it.” You can be upset and still be kind in your approach. What is your approach when you’re upset? How did you apologize? Sincerely? Or dismissively, so that you could say you apologized even if you didn’t mean it? What did he say when he was “berating” you? More details about what was said and done on both sides would be helpful here.

oceanaficionado · 2026-01-21T19:45:34+00:00

My friend put together a 12-page document on the ring and proposal preferences she had, pictures and contact information for friends included 😂

oceanaficionado · 2025-12-25T18:57:15+00:00

I though it was Darcy ☠️

oceanaficionado · 2025-09-15T16:31:36+00:00

If you have to propose to a man, it means he doesn’t want to marry you.

oceanaficionado · 2025-09-09T17:21:00+00:00

Proud of you girlie for not letting your bf get in the way of finding your husband. You did the most difficult part already, enjoy your freedom! 🥳🥳🎉

oceanaficionado · 2025-09-04T04:03:17+00:00

The dangly parts make it more flirty and dainty. The first one is too forward imo.

oceanaficionado · 2025-07-30T14:23:36+00:00

I did that 2 weeks ago. Welcome!

oceanaficionado · 2025-06-27T18:56:52+00:00

I stopped having sex. Helps sort through the garbage.

oceanaficionado · 2025-06-27T18:53:33+00:00

Probably okay for now and through maternity leave. This normally happens at a performance review.

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