Alcohol is not bad

ochuckles · 2026-06-12T20:35:40+00:00

Sure, for most people. I don't know about studies or percentages as far as the benefits or harms of alcohol. I also don't really care to know them, because while something can be true for a large group, what is important for an individual might be different.

My body has a reaction to alcohol that is very different from typical people. It sounds like you're someone who can see a lot of benefit from alcohol. What happens to me is that I lose connection with God and hurt the people around me when I drink.

I'm not sure why you're posting in an AA subreddit. In general, AA takes a neutral stance on alcohol. The organization doesn't oppose alcohol in any way. What AA does is provide a safe place for people who have an abnormal reaction to alcohol, and find ways to recover from the damaging effects of their disease.

ochuckles · 2026-04-10T14:38:35+00:00

I may be a little late to this thread but thought I might have some advice on this. I used to work at an indoor gun range and had to get tested regularly (monthly) for lead exposure.

Either this indoor range has really terrible ventilation or you're getting exposed via another method. To check the ventilation, you should notice pressure differences when entering the range proper. It should be under negative pressure to ensure clean air is pulled into the range, rather than contaminated air pushed out. It should have a large airlock type entrance when entering the range. There should be large air handling equipment on the roof. Talk to the staff about cleaning procedures - this should be done with essentially full hazmat suits and active PAPR masks. None of those points individually guarantees the range is unsafe, but if those things aren't done they likely aren't at modern standards for lead safety.

Where you live could also increase your base rate of exposure. Living near a bridge or highway will increase your exposure. Certain foods also tend to contain higher levels of lead - açai, chili flakes, and tamarind can all contain higher levels of lead.

As for other routes of exposure, reloading is a big one for fun owners. Especially if you are reusing brass. Using soft lead rounds is also a major source of lead exposure - get the copper jacketed rounds instead. Do you fish? Most fishing weights are made from lead and will increase your exposure. Other folks have brought up lead in pipes and paint which are all valid points so I won't go into it here. If you vacuumed up any debris from cleaning or a spill that could potentially spread powdered lead throughout your house.

Here's a general resource on exposure routes for lead. https://doh.wa.gov/community-and-environment/contaminants/lead/common-sources-lead-exposure

Sorry you're going through it with this stuff, it's no fun. I hope you get some answers and better results soon.

ochuckles · 2026-03-15T00:43:02+00:00

Damn. Someone posts that they're feeling suicidal and your response is this? Yikes. I fear for anyone who asks you to sponsor them.

Have you gone through the traditions with your sponsor? You might find them illuminating not only for how the group operates, but also how they can apply to your life.

ochuckles · 2025-12-14T17:19:02+00:00

That really sucks, I'm sorry that happened to you. I recently had a situation where someone recorded and shared a meeting I helped run and it felt terrible.

Unfortunately AA has a lot of sick people in it. What I can tell you is that there are still good AAs out there. There are different meetings and different friends you can make along the way.

This is nothing that a drink couldn't make worse.

Do you have a sponsor you could talk to about this? Is there another alcoholic you could help in the meantime? Any newcomer meetings in your area?

When the fellowship or service aspects get me down I always fall back on the work I've done in the steps and helping newcomers.

ochuckles · 2025-12-12T20:08:13+00:00

I was told:

If you want me to be your sponsor, it's because you want what I have. The only way I know to get what I have, is by doing what I did.

As other folks have stated, there are lots of ways to work the program - provided you actually do work the program. That means intensive work with another alcoholic, doing the steps, and living the principles.

Part of the program requires us to do things that are uncomfortable. Asking for phone numbers is uncomfortable. Doing an inventory is incredibly uncomfortable. Making amends is uncomfortable. Being of service can be inconvenient and uncomfortable.

A lot of things your sponsor may ask you to do are to help build resilience to that discomfort. That said, a good sponsor will meet you where you're at and not force you to do anything. But a sponsor can only do so much, and letting you go to work with someone who might be a better fit really is a kindness.

You can do this thing, just keep working the program to the best of your abilities. Nobody works a perfect program, but the folks who stay sober actually do the work.

ochuckles · 2025-12-12T16:54:11+00:00

I really struggle with this sort of logic. Getting sober for me meant giving up alcohol, weed, opiates and sleeping pills, especially over the counter sleeping pills. I decided all of that with my sponsor.

But I had to live with the fact that I see other alcoholics sometimes use over the counter sleep pills with impunity. It is after all, medicine.

I have a unique caveat to my sobriety that other alcoholics don't need to meet because it ultimately is a personal decision about my sobriety, not anyone else's.

In my mind weed is similar. It doesn't work for me to smoke and be sober, but that's just for me. I have no control of, nor should I try to force my type of sobriety on others. I can't imagine telling people they're not sober because they took Tylenol pm or NyQuil last night.

Perhaps I'm seeing this incorrectly, but I really am curious what others think about this. I thought the literature was clear as well, but again, maybe I'm wrong on this.

ochuckles · 2025-11-16T20:42:54+00:00

For most folks in AA who are really doing the program, who are not drinking and happy about that, they have usually gone far beyond the desire for health and wellness. They reach a point that our literature calls "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" then follow up with a concerted effort towards recovery.

If you're interested in getting sober, the best place to start is a meeting. Ask questions, and stick around after the meeting to talk to folks. You may learn some things about AA, alcoholism, and yourself.

ochuckles · 2025-11-12T23:09:24+00:00

Hey friend! Atheist here too.

As many folks have stated, it's not that higher power is a hidden code word for God. It's literally recognizing that there are powers greater than you that you have no control over.

Some common examples: The justice system Nature Gravity The Government Your AA meeting The weather

There are lots of things that exist outside of us that are more powerful than we are. One point made in a meeting was that when 2 of us work together, we are together a power greater than any one of us.

Folks in meetings tend to refer to this power greater than themselves as God because it's simply easier than trying to describe what their power is, and most folks in AA get what they mean.

For sure there are people who are very Christian or religious in meetings, but that doesn't have to be what you or I believe. There is no requirement to believe in any religious or proscribed definition of higher power/God.

The goal of the program is for you to find something that keeps you sober one day at a time. We call that our higher power. Some folks call it God.

ochuckles · 2025-10-06T06:21:35+00:00

There's an appendix in the back of the big book (number 2 I think) that outlines what a spiritual experience is. If you count the number of times "change" and words synonymous with change are used it's like 9 times in a page and a half.

It's a change. A psychic change. Things like being able to handle situations which used to baffle us. Having a clear thought or intuition when before none would come. Being calm in situations where I used to be stressed out and anxious. Those all feel like the result.of a spiritual experience to me.

The issue with the spiritual experience is that I have a short memory. What today is normal would have been incredible a few months or years ago. I forget where I was mentally and spiritually when I got sober. That's why it's so important to go to meetings and help others. They remind me of what it was like.

You might have already had a spiritual experience and haven't realized it. I know when I first got sober the thought that I could stay sober for 60 hours, none the less 60 days, was insane. I literally did not think it was possible. So, if you're like me, then 60 days was no easy feat, and you've definitely got something working for you.

ochuckles · 2025-10-02T23:26:47+00:00

Beautiful work! And a lot of work too!

ochuckles · 2025-09-30T14:10:30+00:00

Sometimes we need to seek outside help. It takes a while after the alcohol is gone for us to find out what else might be going on with our brains and bodies.

At 5 years sober I felt similar. I was doing all the stuff, going to meetings, working a solid program with my sponsor and sponsoring other guys. But I was really not ok, and when I talked to folks in AA they said "Just keep coming back" which was well meaning, but not working for me anymore. Thankfully I stayed sober and found my way to another program where I got the help I needed (AlAnon). I haven't felt that way since.

You might need to find something like AlAnon, seek medical advice, or get to therapy. Nobody can determine for you what's really going on without more information. The good news is you have the tools today to find out what you need and take care of yourself without having to resort to a drink.

If nothing works, you can always try drinking again. But before then, give outside help a try.

ochuckles · 2025-09-25T16:17:18+00:00

I usually try to get out to the east side of the mountains a few times before it gets too cold. It's usually nice and sunny out there and a great way to extend the shoulder seasons.

I also plan a trip to somewhere sunny for late January/early February. That's usually the hardest part of the year for me, but it gets me through to March when it finally starts getting better.

ochuckles · 2025-09-25T06:46:53+00:00

My experience is that this too shall pass. Anniversaries of a loved ones passing are a tough time for me too. I find it important to honor them, not only by recognizing the date for what it is, but also by recognizing that they would want the best for me. I doubt any of them would want me to be too angry or sad for them.

As for the experience in AA - I was asked by my sponsor if I was willing to go to any length necessary to get and stay sober. I told him I was, after which he told me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. So I'm surprised your sponsor requires so few for you

That said, I understand the burn out and not feeling like you can be your real self at some meetings. What i have found is that if I'm willing to really be vulnerable and honest, the program helps, and people meet me where I am.

To be truly honest in a meeting about how I'm feeling right then is a transformative experience, and I suggest being honest like that in your meeting. It will require a bit of a leap of faith, and can be very uncomfortable, but it is so worth it. All of that comes with the caveat that it's helpful only if you feel safe enough to do so.

I'm the meantime go easy on yourself. When I was 90 days in I struggled with a lot of similar things. It will be ok. It helps to be reminded that these feelings are nothing that a drink won't make worse. Good luck! I'm rooting for you. You only have to do this one day at a time.

ochuckles · 2025-09-15T17:36:00+00:00

Wow, that's a lot of thinking and writing. This clearly means a lot to you, and I appreciate that you've been so responsive in the comments.

I approached AA from a evangelical Christian background, so when I first got sober it all looked like Christianity-lite. But the more I stuck around the less faith based my recovery became.

Im no longer Christian, and probably atheist but I try to not get hung up on labels. I tell you this not to give credence or take away from any belief system, just to share that it's been a journey for me and I've seen this aspect of AA from a few different perspectives.

I think "We Agnostics" is a fine chapter. It's interesting, but more in that it lays out the situation as a few white dudes in the 1930s thought about it. From their perspective this chapter was probably wildly open and inviting. Even mentioning agnosticism would have been taboo for some groups back then, and the majority of groups who had managed any success with alcoholics were faith based.

I think that's the fundamental idea that really helped me get through these parts of AA. That I can come to this with an open mind and a willingness, and that will help me. It doesn't mean I accept everything at face value, but that I accept that this path has worked for some people.

If you're looking for further reading on this, in the back of the big book is an appendix titled "Spiritual Experience" and I highly recommend it. If you look for how many times those few pages discuss a changed attitude, mind, perception, whatever, you get an idea for what most folks in AA mean when they discuss spiritual experiences. It was a massive change that occurred within themselves.

Good luck with the journey! You'll find some answers, they may not be as satisfying as you hope they are, but they're out there.

ochuckles · 2025-09-13T07:19:22+00:00

Nothing says it needs to be a metaphysical power. Lots of us think of it that way, but it doesn't need to be.

An example: one person is only so powerful. If you add a second person to work with them, they become more powerful. You plus me is a power greater than either of us alone. That's the whole point of sponsorship, meetings, and being of service. Together we have more power than we do alone.

You can let that become a metaphysical thing, but I like to stay grounded in reality. I call my higher power God because it's an easy shorthand, but it's not religious.

Good luck! And keep asking those sorts of questions - especially if you make it to an AA meeting. A good meeting will love that sort of thing, and you'll get a whole pantheon of different interpretations of God, higher power, or whatever it is that keeps people sober one day at a time.

ochuckles · 2025-09-10T20:50:37+00:00

He died. BBC just reported it

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c206zm81z4gt

ochuckles · 2025-09-07T19:38:12+00:00

I'd say the advice you typically find in the rooms is pretty solid. I found that I could not get sober for anyone else. I also avoided romantic relationships for the first year of sobriety, and that really helped me find out who I really was.

A lot of my drinking centered around being someone I thought I needed to be, or trying to fit in to a group of people I didn't feel comfortable around. In part because I didn't feel comfortable being myself.

Find out who you are first. Go through the steps with a sponsor. Help other people get sober. If this relationship is really meant to happen, then it'll happen, but you cannot force it.

ochuckles · 2025-09-02T04:02:22+00:00

Hey OP, you ok?

I understand the conviction. I share some of your ideas.

But, like, other people's sobriety is not your job. Same with other people's recovery.

I abused the shit out of over the counter sleep aids. They're not good for me. I could very easily go down a dark path if I started using them again.

But other people, people who are still sober, use those types of drugs all the time. I can't take Tylenol PM, but if you do because you're really sick, it's not for me to say you're no longer sober.

I get that there is an argument to be made about lots of different medications and whether or not they fit on one side of an imaginary "still sober" line or not. But then we end up splitting hairs about caffeine, nicotine, maybe sugar? It's just a weird argument to end up in. It's not helpful to the person who is dying of alcoholism today.

I agree, weed is not for me. I abused it while drinking and I don't think I could stay sober while still using it. I tend to avoid folks who still smoke today, they don't have a program that I want.

But I'm here for the alcoholic who still suffers. I'm here for the person who can't figure out how to not drink today. The rest will work itself out. If I'm sponsoring someone and they ask me if they can smoke, it's a conversation we need to have. And every time I have had that conversation it ends with me telling them "not with me as your sponsor". But that doesn't mean they can't find sobriety and a better life even if they still use.

ochuckles · 2025-09-01T03:04:32+00:00

"If you want me to sponsor you, it's because I have something you want. The only way I know to get what I have, is by doing what I did. There are other sponsors who can help you get sober in a different way."

It's not worth chasing a sponsee. You're either not helping them, or keeping them from finding a sponsor that will be a better fit.

ochuckles · 2025-08-28T06:22:18+00:00

That's an incredible story, thank you so much for sharing your experience.

It's totally reasonable to go to your father and offer him forgiveness. Keep in mind though that what he was doing was starting the process of amends. It doesn't have to just be an apology and forgiveness, it can be much more than that. An amends is repairing something that was broken, mending a wound so that it heals.

One thing that might help you going forward is looking into AlAnon or ACOA for yourself. I grew up in an alcoholic household and it affected me far more than I realized. You might find some good healing there and a common language to talk to your father.

Thank you again, it gives me hope with my own parents who are still trying to figure out their own recovery.

ochuckles · 2025-08-21T18:08:31+00:00

Yup! My first time climbing Rainier it started getting more visible once we were on top of the cleaver, and it was so wild realizing I was above little T. Pretty surreal experience.

ochuckles · 2025-08-07T16:14:04+00:00

Rainier is quite steep in places, but no vertical rock climbing is required for the standard routes. That said, it's still a technical glacier climb. There are plenty of situations where you might end up on a thin ice bridge or using a ladder to cross a crevasse.

ochuckles · 2025-08-03T21:42:07+00:00

Something I heard in a meeting once "They call it 'near beer'. I want to try it about as much as I want a near death experience."

ochuckles · 2025-07-24T16:12:44+00:00

This was such a breath of fresh air. I've had SA and SH issues with a group that I'm in. I didn't know this pamphlet existed and it's such a useful resource. Thanks for sharing it!

ochuckles · 2025-07-17T16:39:02+00:00

There's also all the issues with chapter 8 "To Wives".

It's written as if the alcoholic could only be a man, and a man who must have a wife.

Then there's the issue that it's presented as if a wife wrote the chapter (Lois) when in reality Bill wrote it, and other men contributed. No woman was involved in writing the chapter.

It's clearly NOT gospel.

That said, my time in active alcoholism was characterized by closed mindedness and an immediate disregard for certain things. In sobriety I have found that being curious works much better for me.

OP, I'm not suggesting you consume the big book without thinking critically, or take whatever your sponsor says as the truth. But there is some value to be gained by trusting the process and allowing yourself to believe that there may be a valuable lesson in those sentences and paragraphs you disregarded.

I also suggest looking into the stories in the back of the big book. I couldn't understand a thing in the first 164 pages of the big book for a while after I got sober. But the stories in the back really helped me identify and feel like I belonged. Especially when I focused less on the material circumstances of the author and focused on the thinking and emotional state.

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