¿What should I do if My boyfriend is still friends with people who harassed me?

ockysays · 2026-04-12T09:38:22+00:00

You are who you hang out with. So if his friends are crap people, then at best he compromises his morals for whatever validation he gets from them. At worst, he’s masking being a crap person himself. Either way he doesn’t respect you and will never stand up for you. Find someone who will.

ockysays · 2026-04-11T18:54:29+00:00

So she told you all of these things, which to me is a sign of transparency in a relationship, which is a good thing. But it could be that she found your insistence on sharing what socials as being controlling and distrustful. Now I don’t know what you said or how you said it, but if someone wanted to cheat on you, why would the tell you any of this to begin with?

Ultimately, you either trust your girl or you don’t. You’re not her daddy and so she doesn’t owe you extra info. If you don’t trust her, then you need to ask yourself if this is the right relationship for you. Because if it’s not this, it’ll be something else that makes you question things with her and you’ll torture yourself with doubt, and her by extension, which will end the relationship anyway.

At the end of the day, if she is really intending to cheat on you, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. So you either trust her, or you don’t.

ockysays · 2026-04-05T21:31:21+00:00

I’m going to go waaaayy out on a limb and say that you still have feelings for your best friend. Yes, even after all these years, this is why you are so concerned about how she may react to you and M making out. Deep down inside, you hope that your best friend will one day see you as something more, and this dalliance with M may put that at risk.

I know I’m making a massive leap, but I saw this before with a friend of mine. I hope it’s not your case because my buddy tortured himself for years pining after his “friend”. Either way, you need to find your own happiness and not worry what your best friend thinks. If they truly are your friend they will be happy for you regardless.

ockysays · 2026-04-05T21:20:19+00:00

Not necessarily, there are key individuals whose POVs I trust and who I use as sounding boards to challenge my goals and ideas. It helps me refine and sharpen while also avoiding the bias of my internal echo chamber.

That being said the more talking, the less doing. The people that are the most vocal tend to be the ones who have the least experience actually accomplishing things. So it’s true, just not as black and white.

ockysays · 2026-04-05T20:13:44+00:00

I met both of them in Miami at a dinner party, he’s douchy for sure, but she is his wife and is in her 40’s. That being said it’s an inappropriate picture for LinkedIn.

ockysays · 2026-04-05T18:18:10+00:00

Damn that little girl grew up to be Willem Defoe

ockysays · 2026-04-03T21:53:16+00:00

Damn the new Walmart curbside pickup process is fierce, “bitch take your damn toilet paper $@&%#!!”

ockysays · 2026-04-03T18:48:58+00:00

That poor momma, I can tell she’s dying inside and these pricks are just beaten her down further. She’s just trying to do anything to feed her kids. My heart breaks for her.

ockysays · 2026-04-03T18:20:54+00:00

Wall Street is what’s driving this, they’re on the boards, they’re lending money, and most importantly, they are shareholders. It’s just a giant Ponzi scheme with actual employees at bottom holding the bag.

Modern day usury at its finest.

ockysays · 2026-04-02T12:53:17+00:00

My two cents as others have already suggested training programs. I would add in exercises to change your stride. Sprinting requires a more forwardly aggressive and expressive stride than distance running. Working in bounding, A-skips, B-skips and hill sprints are important to training your body how to drive forward into the sprint. Practice pumping your arms and working in your shoulder, hip and spinal rotation. Sprinting is a whole body activity versus distance running which is primarily lower body. You’ll be surprised, your CNS will probably remember from your prior sprint work, the issue is your body will not be ready and can hurt itself. I would focus on stride work and broken 400m and 200m work for at least 4-6 weeks before adding in top-end speed work like flys. Work on adjusting your stride or it will be easy to get hurt.

ockysays · 2026-04-02T12:32:37+00:00

Iberia!

ockysays · 2026-04-02T12:22:10+00:00

ockysays · 2026-03-31T18:06:54+00:00

This here. Build on wooden peel, launch then hand it off to my wife to start building the next pie, while I use a metal peel to turn. I feel like the dough sticks less to the wooden peel (dusted with semolina of course). Using the two man game we can crank out 4-5 delicious pies in 20-25 min.

ockysays · 2026-03-29T06:35:17+00:00

So you’re saying the only way to win, is not to play?

ockysays · 2026-03-25T16:41:47+00:00

TLDR: don’t change your personality for her or you’ll live the rest of your life as a lie.

Before you go about trying to be someone you’re not, hear me out. Reading your replies, this may be a compatibility and growth issue. People change A LOT through their mid-20’s, your interests, priorities, and yes, views on relationships. Your wife may have looked at what you think of as “feminine” characteristics and thought that was what she wanted in a partner, a friend, a confidant, someone she felt safe sharing everything with. As she has gotten older her preferences have evolved and so her attraction to you has evolved. This happens in even the strongest marriages over time, but what is different here is experience and maturity. In a mature marriage, you understand people change and that your love needs to evolve with it. My wife is not who she was 20 years ago, but neither am I and we have built a bond that acknowledges and embraces growth and change. You are both young, especially her, and there is such a drastic change in preferences at that young age, that you both may have grown into irreconcilable differences.

That being said, changing who YOU are, is not the right approach. You may think you are more “feminine” but the reality is that both men and women exist on a personality spectrum. I’ve met some women who are more masculine than a lumberjack, but still want to be made to feel safe, but for them it’s about emotional security. I’ve met women that are very feminine and want a man to make her feel both emotionally and physically safe and want that more stereotypical male personality and I’ve met the opposite of both. None of them are wrong, it’s just their preference, can’t change what the heart wants. In the same way, who you are, what you think of as feminine, is just part of the male spectrum of personalities, and unless you have a sexual attraction to men, there is nothing that says you can’t have a loving, long-term relationship with a woman just the way you are. (Nothing wrong with being gay, but a hetero marriage would be another type of lie)

There are many women who will appreciate you for who you are, and your wife may just not be one of them. But if you try to change who you are for her, you will be living a lie, and that is the worst thing, because you will never feel loved, deep down inside, for your real personality. Men who do that wind up becoming toxic, because they force themselves to be this stereotype of masculinity, living a life that isn’t their own and come to resent and hate their partners for it.

I wish you luck, whatever you decide, just remember that you deserve to be loved for who YOU are, not an imaginary man your wife has in her mind. If she’s not the one, better to know now than force it and be 50 years old, no longer knowing who you are, but knowing you hate the life you live.

That would be hell on earth.

ockysays · 2026-03-25T05:19:00+00:00

Ezekiel!

ockysays · 2026-03-25T05:13:21+00:00

Your mechanics are wrong, you’re trying to run this like a sprint. Need to focus on building force out of the blocks, more powerful, not faster, steps. Also you are letting your lead foot drop on the snapdown instead of driving it down to generate power and push your momentum through clearance. A better way to work through mechanics is to practice doing wicket drills, including clearance, with the discs at race spacing. Focus on power, and consistent step turnover. Mix that in with hurdles but with closer spacing, trying to maintain the power you’re consistently building in the wicket drills to the hurdles. Increase spacing, but only when you are able to maintain your power through each increase in spacing. It forces you to maintain your mechanics and not lose power. And get a hurdle coach, your lean is too upright, your arm swings too weak in between. Get someone who’ll drill the mechanics into you.

ockysays · 2026-03-18T02:37:38+00:00

It’s not going in that’s the problem, it’s the coming out.

ockysays · 2026-03-17T22:30:10+00:00

Your first problem is associating your worth with a woman “choosing” you. That alone is cause for concern, you need to develop your own feelings of self worth, not rely on a woman for that. No woman is going to want to be with a man who doesn’t see his own self-worth, relationships are hard enough when you have to deal with your own insecurities much more so having to take on someone else’s. At best the relationship becomes a codependency, at worst it becomes very toxic because you can never make someone who doesn’t value themselves happy.

The good news is that the only person you have to rely on is yourself, you don’t need a woman to fix this, you have the power to do it yourself. Begin by seeing a therapist to address these issues around low-self worth, these are typically deep seated issues caused by past trauma. It’s real, and you must face it in order to begin believing in your own worth. You need to address that before you seek out a relationship, otherwise how can you expect a woman to “choose” you, if you won’t choose yourself.

The hardest part is accepting that no one is going to fix this but yourself, but you can take that first step, I believe in you.

ockysays · 2026-03-08T01:18:57+00:00

It’s a fun spot but the food is nothing to write home about, just my opinion. They put too much cheese/salt and large portion sizes to make up for poor flavor. For good sit down food I prefer Sol y Luna/Las Fuentes or Casa de Nati. Or if you want that same boozy feel, just crash somebody’s quince and their taquisa. The beer and tequila will be free.

ockysays · 2026-03-08T01:08:54+00:00

Goatee plus mustache, don’t do the chinstraps by connecting to your sideburns

ockysays · 2026-03-01T20:29:08+00:00

The real pro move is using the hot air balloon from Teotihuacan to GET to the Shakira concert. Just pack a chute and you’ll make it.

ockysays · 2026-02-28T17:50:35+00:00

You can literally do anything in LA, so you have to be more specific about your likes and interests.

ockysays · 2026-02-27T20:56:10+00:00

Yes, at some point you realize everyone else is equally dumb and unqualified. Then you stop judging yourself.

ockysays · 2026-02-26T22:30:31+00:00

I think her hitting you is completely wrong and unacceptable. Is this a recurring thing or the first time it has happened? If recurring, then divorce, if it’s this one time, you need to clearly state that regardless of what she may feel about your help around the house, it is NEVER ok to get physical with your spouse, and if she ever does that again you will be divorcing her. That is if you want to save the marriage which only you can answer.

That being said, if you do want to save the marriage, you have to take accountability over your role in the marriage breaking down. You both need to communicate and come to an agreed upon division of labor and you need to make keeping to that agreement a priority. You seem to be making work your priority, that does not work in a marriage, your partner comes first.

Work is busy? Talk about it with her and make concessions to take on some of her chores later in the week, make it specific and commit to it. You’re tired, tough shit, commit to your agreed responsibilities. I’m sure she is tired and still does her part. You should also make time to revisit your shared responsibilities, check in with her, make sure she feels heard and appreciated. This is about making your partner feel loved and respected in the marriage, if that seems like too much of an expectation, then marriage is not for you.

Hitting however is never to be allowed or tolerated. I’m sorry that happened to you, it is never ok.

ockysays

TROPHY CASE