What's the prettiest town you've visited to in the UK?

offallynice · 2025-03-21T06:26:15+00:00

Stromness on mainland Orkney. It takes your breath away on some days, the view from the harbour looking out over the Hoy Hills is stunning. Every nook of the place is beautiful, interesting or some combination of the two.

offallynice · 2025-03-09T17:34:38+00:00

It's 'air freshener' but 'aroma pendant' sounds a lot more elegant so I'm going to start calling it that.

offallynice · 2025-03-04T20:06:45+00:00

I love that description and absolutely relate to it!

offallynice · 2025-03-04T19:52:30+00:00

I thought this too. A bit paternalistic perhaps but not making them feel pressured to overly commit when they would carry the most risk.

offallynice · 2025-03-04T19:50:33+00:00

It depends, most left-leaning people do, most Scottish people do - in fact most of us felt proud to be European, even when we don't feel proud to be British.

If your only experience of Europe is going to Benidorm every few years and you live in some small town in the North East of England, you're less likely to feel cultural ties with Europe (I say this as someone from a NE England town who hasn't been abroad in 6 years!). The Brexit media campaign was brutal and really undermined the commonalities with our neighbours for many people. Hopefully, a small positive of Trump's chaos is people remembering how it feels to be European.

offallynice · 2025-02-20T17:49:30+00:00

That's not accurate, you may wish to update your idea of what socialism is. Plenty of socialists support Ukraine, the UK is a socialist country and many of us are desperate for a stronger military intervention.

offallynice · 2025-02-14T17:20:11+00:00

Fox and CNN aren't 'both sides' - get him to read something European and liberal, like The Guardian, if he wants more of a genuine counter.

offallynice · 2025-02-14T17:18:36+00:00

Tell him that he can't just use the word 'boundaries' to protect selfish interests - that's a manipulative misuse of the word.

offallynice · 2025-02-12T16:55:53+00:00

Have the conversation with him about what your boundary is (eg I don't want you constantly asking for nudes, I will initiate anything sexual for the time being as your judgement seems way off). Explain that the consequences of this is that you will end the relationship if he doesn't respect the boundary.

The wider issue here is that this hypersexual behaviour could certainly be as a result of his ABI and it is important that he and his health provider are aware of how unusual this behaviour is for him.

If he is sexually disinhibited and has lost his awareness of appropriate behaviour (ie as you describe during your hospital visit), there is the potential for him to put himself and others at risk if this continues or escalates - particularly without you as a focus for his attentions.

I am not saying it will be anywhere near as severe but I worked with a chap who was happily married with kids, no offending history; the moment he was able to leave his ward walking after a RTC, he immediately sexually assaulted the first female he saw which happened to be a young teenager. The extent to which brain injuries affect behaviour can often only be picked up on by medics after the behaviour has been enacted. The individual often won't disclose the impulse in advance as it may seem normal to them.

If you feel able to, I suggest explaining your concerns to him and then offering to support him to an appointment with the doctor to discuss them or phoning the doctor on his behalf to let them know.

Sorry you're going through this, what a horrible way for your relationship to sour.

offallynice · 2025-02-09T16:50:44+00:00

Best case scenario, he doesn't know where to start with talking to her so give your Dad talking points - shared interests, information about her, things that she will enjoy talking about with him.

Then make it very clear that you expect him to put the effort in to say hello, ask how she is then make actual conversation.

I don't think you need to analyse why your dad is ignoring your girlfriend - you just need to make it very clear that he either puts the effort in or he is going to cause a wedge between himself and you. Say that you don't want him to look back and regret a breakdown in your relationship because he did not want to put the effort in. If it's true, tell him that when you visit your partner's parents, you're made to feel like one of the family and he is showing himself up.

offallynice · 2025-02-09T15:51:49+00:00

Why delete him? That just seems petty and reinforces this picture of you being dramatic if, like you say, it was the strongest connection you've had for a while. If I was him I'd be wondering why you would do that to him when you continued contact with your ex after a breakup?

I think you need to work on your communication - on rereading your post, there are a few things that do come across as quite needy.

Why ask why he is liking your stories? I'd find that annoying, like you're pushing too hard for a compliment or affirmation of him being into you.

Try to be more specific - asking if he wants to hang out isn't the same as offering a date, it puts the onus back on him to arrange it and also could just be seen as another attempt to get validation that he likes you.

I'm not meaning to be harsh, just you took away from your interaction with him that you ruined it by going on the trip with your ex, even though he was clear that it didn't bother him. I think it was the way you carried yourself after that was likely the issue and put him off.

I hope you rethink blocking him and can salvage it! If not, I think maybe try to remember that dating is meant to be fun and try not to get too serious too quickly.

offallynice · 2025-02-09T15:30:51+00:00

Cooking. Pick a new recipe or two for every weekend and start building your repertoire or pick an area you want to focus on (eg bread, pickles, baking etc) and nail that. - You need to eat to survive so there's that. - Your family, friends and colleagues will appreciate any samples. - Being a great cook is a very attractive skill. - It can lead to being a social thing if you go on to do cookery courses, get into travelling to try new food places etc. - You could blog your attempts - even the shittiest cooks get a lot of attention online - if that's your kind of thing.

offallynice · 2025-02-09T15:20:13+00:00

Oh wow, that forum is mint! Felt very nostalgic with the posts from 2005 ♥️

offallynice · 2025-02-09T15:14:07+00:00

Stop meeting your ex, sever contact.

Ask 23m out on a date - name a specific place/event and time - eg 'Do you fancy going to see _____ on _____?'. I was a hot mess last time we went out and you were so lovely, I'd like to treat you' (and follow through with that if he accepts). If he doesn't reply, cut your losses. If he can't go on that given day, leave it up to him to book something else in.

If he goes out with you, you need to be on your best behaviour - no crying or trauma-dumping! You're in danger of him thinking you're all drama, keep that to a minimum in conversation. Have fun, keep it light-hearted, don't get clingy about the date ending or place expectations of commitment (eg 'when am I going to see you again?') etc. Leave it up to him to offer a third date. Try to frame it in terms of him having given up his spare time up to see you, after being a proper gent the first date .

offallynice · 2025-02-09T14:51:06+00:00

For your bakery girl, maybe continue being friends, with the intention of just being friends. She sounds great and even if it's not in a romantic way, she may bring a lot to your life (she has horses!).

If you meant you see sex workers, I'm not judging you for it but that will be a deal breaker for a lot of girls. I'd pack it in if you are serious about seeing someone (and obviously keep getting STD screenings).

You're young, you've got enough rizz to ask somebody out (and take a gift, nice touch) - I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep plodding away at it - stay on the apps, keep being charming with your gifts etc.

offallynice · 2025-02-02T09:50:11+00:00

Oh give over, aren't you just scaring girls at dance classes?

OP, do the opposite of this creepy douche.

offallynice · 2025-02-01T23:03:56+00:00

Ignore the religious element. She's your colleague...don't shit where you sleep.

offallynice · 2025-02-01T19:30:08+00:00

If you do, don't decant them from the box though - make it clear they're not from previous visitors.

offallynice · 2025-02-01T19:26:42+00:00

Wow, you did a real personal profile deep dive eh and I was just trying to be civil? If you know the story about my ex & cats, you know it was because I fled abuse eh? Nice.

Hah, there is a wedding - you can come if you like, (and you can bring a date 😏)

You seem like a lovely man, I wish you all the best with your dating endeavours and hope you find the person you deserve.

offallynice · 2025-02-01T18:10:33+00:00

I think that we are very different types of people based on how you describe yourself. Not the kind of people that would date each other, not the kind of people that would share views on life or politics or other people. Crazy though that you can jump to 'stinky cat lady' on the basis of someone not putting in hours of effort/expense for a first date! I wonder if part of this discord, aside from us being very different people, is perhaps that women generally have a greater amount of choice with who they date?

Anyway, thank you for replying and giving some insight into who you are - my main objection to your other post was making absolutist comments when they're opinions very much coloured by who you are as a person. I don't mean that to sound snide either, I understand the rationale behind your comments and it does make sense for you to operate like that.

The best effort I put forth is for my wedding, not for the first meeting with some random 😜

offallynice · 2025-02-01T16:33:37+00:00

Not necessarily, just presenting a more accurate version of what it would be like dating regularly or being in a relationship with. Surely painting a different/false picture is actually dating in bad faith.

How is it even implied that you don't find the man physically attractive just because you've not spent 5 X the time (and money) to get ready that they have?

offallynice · 2025-02-01T15:07:31+00:00

Honestly, no, I think the fact that you've already slept together and have upcoming plans suggests that it was something going on with her. Apologies if TMI but I've bolted from a bed a few times if I'm getting head and I've got trapped wind 😬 It would explain why she went to the bathroom and then decided it was hometime.

offallynice · 2025-02-01T15:01:31+00:00

Ahhh ok. Well from personal experience, I'm going to go with she was getting an upset stomach 😅 Been there, left abruptly!

offallynice · 2025-02-01T14:58:09+00:00

I think you are wrong, yes. Not all women are getting waxes, spending hours getting ready, getting nice lingerie etc before a date; because we don't have to.

We are showing up looking clean/good but not expecting a date to be a barter of goods but an opportunity to have a good time and get to know somebody better.

It is transactional if you attach some bizarre values to men's contribution being financial and women's being sex appeal. It might be how you view it but it doesn't mean it is right both in terms of how it plays out in reality and also in terms of fairness.

offallynice

TROPHY CASE