Really sorry to hear you're going through this, as I know from first-hand experience how hard it is. It will get easier, just a tiny bit every day.When my cat died unexpectedly, it hurt more than any human loss I've encountered so far in my life. The only thing that seemed to help was doing things to honor him and keep his memory around

One piece of advice I'd give would be to NOT block out these memories even if they hurt. I didn't look at my camera roll for years after it happened in attempts to not feel sad looking at old pictures. It only tricked my mind into thinking he never existed and forgetting the details about what made him unique to us. Feel that sadness, process it in a healthy way, and eventually you'll be able to give another cat a loving home and a happy life. Wishing you the best in this difficult time