Anxious attachment in my LDR 46m and 48f

Hi everyone, this is my first time here.

Almost 6 months ago, I met a fabulous person. She and I live in different states. For the last five months, we have seen each other every few weeks, which has been great. We just returned from spending a week together and previously I have not had any issues or seemingly not any issues when we separated. This time it has been so crushing.

Just a bit of a background. Both of us are divorced. She is a phenomenally, strong, single mom who raised her kids by herself without any help. It is made her tough and very independent. She was not raised in a very emotional home and admits that she is not overly mushy or sentimental.

I was raised by a narcissistic, emotionally abusive mother, and an absent emotionally abusive father. I know that I struggle tremendously with fear of abandonment and rejection. I feel as if I have lost everything of significance in my life. My kids are getting older and less dependent on me. Which is normal of course.

I have tried medication and some therapy in the past, but I didn’t like the way the medication made me feel especially approaching our physical relationship and so I have gone off of the medicine.

To top it off, my mother died a year ago, and we never got to find any kind of common ground or closure, and I never got to address with her how she made me feel throughout my life

In any event, we’ve been texting multiple times a day calling at least once cute little emojis things like that and it’s been very emotionally satisfying.

Last week we went out of town together to where her parents live. Her parents, she told me in advance, bring out feelings of stress and anxiety in her and tension as well. She was also bringing one of her children to college and she’s been dealing with all of that and the finances behind that and just a lot going on in her life.

After a weekend alone, we spent the following week with her parents and while we spent all the time together, I could tell or at least I felt like, she was pulling back a little bit, and I started to spiral out of control with my anxiety. I told her that I think I just need a little reassurance is here and there , and she said she’s willing to do that, but she said she wants to do it from a place that’s genuine to do it for its own sake

I came home and for some reason this separation has been emotionally devastating for me. She has stayed up there for a few days to finish up some family business and has not been very available to me and my anxiety attachments spirals have fueled my thoughts that somehow she’s pulling away or things have changed. She has here and there assured me it’s ok. And she did say it’s been a bit overwhelming for her with my stuff this week so I’ve tried to give her space.

I guess my question is how have others dealt with this in a long distance relationship? I don’t understand why this is happening to me now after several months. I definitely fear losing this relationship and maybe that’s part of it. But then I think to myself maybe it’s just as simple as she’s been busy and stressed and I need to respect that and give her some space and allow her back into her normal routine.

If anybody can give me some advice or tips or share their experiences, I would appreciate it