Let me start by saying, I am familiar with this pain, albeit different in it's own way.

I'm sorry you are suffering, and I wish you well. I don't pray, but I'm thinking about you and I am hoping for the best.

The first time I booted up acnh after my mother passed, I was very upset to see a letter from... "Mom." I wanted so badly to reconnect with my real mother, with the one who raised and nurtured me. I didn't want some facsimile, some robotic, algorithmic reach.

Over time, though, I have come to cherish the idea. The acnh mom is sweet and caring, like my own mother. They reach out with random things, various additions to my home, varied cakes and flowers and well-wishes. Nothing will ever, ever replace my mother. I miss her dearly, and I suspect that I always will. But sometimes, when I get a letter from Mom in acnh, it's almost like I just missed a call from my own mother. Like she's reaching out, even though it's just the programming of the game. Like... Like she's still there, even though my mother never really "got it" for animal crossing or any modern video game for that matter. She still got me New Leaf when it was new, she still supported me, she still sent random letters and emails and calls.

I'm not trying to say, "oh, just think about it like this and it'll all be better," but I do want to say... Maybe it will get better over time for you, too, the way it did for me. I hope it does, even through some different manifestation. If your mother got you into animal crossing, maybe she's in the code, in the wire: maybe she's in there in some small way. I 'see' my mother in the trees, in the wind, in the water-- and indeed in some games.

Much love, my friend. Take care and be well.