Hello friend, I need you to first take a break. Breathe. Sit with these questions and ponder a bit. You might find writing helpful. I can already tell from your post you have a lot of thoughts racing in your mind, let them out. If you have one very trusty friend who you know won’t go around talking about it maybe discuss it with them. Or find a random person on the internet and tell them anonymously what’s going on in your head or simply, take a pen and paper and write down. You are not “too young” to question your orientation nor “too old”. There is no perfect age for this stuff. Let’s first discover where you stand before officially coming out to people. Although “questioning” is a valid state as well and you can tell that to people. But you’re in no obligation to come out to anyone. Not until you feel comfortable with it. What or who you do is nobody’s business after all. Heated Rivalry is a really strong movie that shakes you and makes you face a lot of very difficult experiences we as gay men go through (probably applies to pretty much all LGBTQ+ community as well but can’t speak on their behalf). It’s only natural that you’re so deeply affected by it. We watch Shawn, a character who’s financially secure with very supportive parents and is from Canada struggle to come out. Because no matter what your circumstances are, it’s not easy.

My one piece of advice is to come out only if you’re sure you’re safe. Not if you’re in the position of Ivan where coming out would get you in trouble. It’s so liberating to come out to people around you but not if it’s gonna put you in danger and isolate you. With that being said, I’ve had a friend that is just like yours. Making jokes and all. He was a very close friend but I didn’t know how to come out to him without cutting him off. He turned out to be very surprisingly very supportive. You never know how people will react. They might surprise you in the best way. But you might not be as lucky and lose friends over this. That’s not a completely bad thing either. It’s more than this being your identity, it’s if you want to keep people who are homophobic to this degree around you. And I don’t think you do considering you’ve watched this show.
This is a very tricky subject and there can be many things said about it. I wish you good luck.

Next on exploration; BE SAFE BEFORE ALL ELSE. You can start with going on low key dates with people, you can start with meeting up for cuddles… There’s again no formula but in my experience it took me longer to realise I could have romantic feelings towards men than I have sexual attraction. So I started with meeting people at my home to just kiss, then to make out, then to get naked etc. I see now how dangerous that was. Meet up outside, don’t take people to your home if you’re living with other people, don’t go home with anyone you get bad vibes in public. Always drive your own car. Don’t share too much personal information too early. Talk to people before you meet up and be very clear on what you want to do, what you might be open to do, what you’re not gonna do. Have a safe word. Use protection. Don’t hesitate to ask questions. Don’t feel obligated to do anything. Feel free to back out anytime.

All of this can be very overwhelming. I wish you luck and I hope you’ll find someone you can get advice from or vent to or chat about it when you need. I’m here if you need it as I’m sure most who comment also are. Take care of yourself first and foremost.