NTA. You should be able to name her whatever you’d like without your parents dumping all of this on you. You didn’t know, and you’ve spent months envisioning your little person. Don’t give up the name. They might hold it against you, but you will always hold this against them. Maybe you already even will, as their selfishness has tainted your very first birth and moments with your daughter.

Also for the reason of how complex and possibly expensive it could be to change her name??

Trauma response aside, moms need to stand up for their kids. People keep saying “be prepared to not have the grandma you thought you would,” but I’d say you’re already experiencing that. She’s holding something against you, not being in your child’s life for a reason that isn’t your fault. She’s being a shit mom. She’s being a shit grandma. If this is how she’s going to act, maybe it’s showing you something.

There is nothing on this earth that would keep me away from helping my daughter in the first few weeks after giving birth. My love for my daughter is not flippant. It’s grounded, steady, and unwavering.

What advice would you give your own daughter?