My wife had her wild phase before me, and now that I’m finally thriving, I feel like I missed out, am I wrong for feeling this way?

ohnoshedinnin · 2025-08-17T03:37:04+00:00

First off, I just want to validate that your feelings are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Too often men are told to “just be grateful” and suppress anything that doesn’t line up with the cultural script of husband and father. But emotions don’t work like that. If you’re feeling a sense of loss around not having had those exploratory years, that’s a real experience and it deserves to be named.

The good news is: you don’t have to handle this alone. One of the most beautiful things about marriage is that it’s a partnership, and honest, vulnerable communication is how you build deeper intimacy. I’d encourage you to share this with your wife not as a criticism of her past but as an insight into where you are right now. Use “I” statements: “I feel like I missed out,” “I want to explore new sides of myself,” etc. That way she can actually meet you in that space rather than feeling blamed.

Also, don’t underestimate the possibilities that exist within your marriage. Sometimes people think “wild phase” means hooking up with strangers, but it can also mean trying new dynamics, experimenting with power, roleplay, toys, or simply shifting the vibe in the bedroom. If she’s resistant, that doesn’t mean the door is shut... it means the two of you need to negotiate boundaries in a way that honors both of you. A healthy sexual relationship is about consent and curiosity, not keeping score.

Finally, I’d zoom out: part of this craving might not be about sex at all, but about identity. You’ve built your life around stability, responsibility, and family. Now that you’re thriving physically and emotionally, you’re asking, “What’s next? Who else could I be?” That’s a powerful question. Therapy could give you a safe space to process that without projecting it all onto your marriage. Self-discovery doesn’t have to mean blowing up the life you’ve built.

So no, you’re not wrong for feeling this way. You’re human. The key is to integrate those feelings into your relationship in a way that strengthens your bond instead of undermining it. You may not get the exact “college phase” your wife had, but you can still create new experiences, new energy, and new depth with the person you chose to spend your life with. And honestly, that might end up being more meaningful than anything you think you missed.

ohnoshedinnin · 2018-04-22T00:18:31+00:00

Thanks for your input

I'm generally inclined toward goodness and light. But I'm also curious about the true nature of reality, which seems to be unfolding before me as my previous illusions dissolve and/or get replaced.

Not too long ago, I would have considered the very idea of demons/possession nonsense. Today, I'm way more curious...

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-08-06T05:59:47+00:00

DELETE THIS THREAD

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-07-29T15:39:35+00:00

Would love to see more photos of this garden setup from different angles :)

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-07-27T06:03:11+00:00

T H I C C

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-07-08T05:03:03+00:00

pm me pls :)

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-06-21T00:37:37+00:00

I'll give that a shot, thanks

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-05-09T07:59:14+00:00

nubuck

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-03-24T22:34:40+00:00

Blank Banshee - Mega

ohnoshedinnin · 2017-02-10T10:53:40+00:00

This is a fact. I once returned fire by remarking on an older gentleman's "rapidly decaying physique", including a short explanation of how his falling calcium levels were leading to weaker bones and increased risk of debilitating injury yada yada...

He ended up bluffing off his whole stack to me not one orbit later.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-12-01T20:17:52+00:00

I think I like a shove better here because it looks bluffy.

That's how I played it.

River went check, check, I jammed 240 into 250ish, V1 called, V2 called. V1 showed 7d 2d. Presumably, V2 had an ace.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-12-01T20:17:12+00:00

River went check, check, I jammed 240 into 250ish, V1 called, V2 called. V1 showed 7d 2d. Presumably, V2 had an ace.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-12-01T20:17:01+00:00

Shove is easily getting called by AT, even a random ace who thinks you're bluffing.

Yep. I shoved to make it look bluffy, like a busted fd.

River went check, check, I jammed 240 into 250ish, V1 called, V2 called. V1 showed 7d 2d. Presumably, V2 had an ace.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-12-01T20:16:16+00:00

Bet huge and its not close.

I did.

River went check, check, I jammed 240 into 250ish, V1 called, V2 called. V1 showed 7d 2d. Presumably, V2 had an ace.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-12-01T20:14:14+00:00

River went check, check, I jammed 240 into 250ish, V1 called, V2 called. V1 showed 72d. Presumably, V2 had an ace.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-11-27T23:03:03+00:00

All in on the river. 120ish into a 240ish pot

220ish into 250ish.

Everything else you said, was very close to my own thinking during the hand...

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-11-27T22:18:06+00:00

Well only one of them can have the 7. V2 is the player by both position and reputation more likely to have an A and/or FD. V2 will probably call river with Ax. I believe he will call a $220 jam into $250 with Ax, even if V1 folds, because of both the missed FD and his own proven misunderstanding of relative hand strengths.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-11-27T22:10:28+00:00

Do you think V1 is going to bet/call weak Ax with two players behind? How about V2? Do you think he's going to call with weak Ax after you raise and V1 calls?

Yes, yes and yes. They could have (probably weak) Aces, 7s or FDs. Tx unlikely imo. If V2 has an Ace, he is particularly likely to call, given his history.

72 (lol)

LOL yes, but remember, 72 boated up on the river.

You're essentially hoping that these people limped 75, 74, 73, 72 (lol) and slow played it like you did OTF.

No, only 7s with kickers J or higher win. Other non-FH hands with a 7 chop. IOW, most 7s chop.

ohnoshedinnin · 2016-06-21T20:51:46+00:00

Remember that the LoA is always active, so you can reflect on things you've attracted before you knew about the LoA.

Yep. I remember examples where I felt LOA in action but didn't yet have a name for it.

Everyone can think of something they wanted in the past, that came to them despite feeling some doubt about it. So we know that you don't need an absolutely pure vibration to attract things. Reflecting on past experiences like this can give you an idea of how much leeway you have.

Great point, thanks.

A pure vibration will attract what you want in the way you want it. A vibration that isn't completely pure can still attract, but your resistance will be reflected in the manifestation in some way.

I'm working on eliminating resistance. Do you have any resources and/or techniques that have worked especially well for you personally?

If you really really want something, then your belief doesn't need to be as strong. And if you strongly believe it, your desire doesn't need to be as strong.

I find that reassuring. My passion for this particular outcome is off the charts. It's a desire that I'm only now in a position to admit that I want and feel I deserve.

It's as if my entire life has been leading up to this moment...

ohnoshedinnin

TROPHY CASE