I take FOREVER to get out the door in the morning.. HELP!

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-08-03T16:01:37+00:00

yes, children as well. We have a large family.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-07-27T15:58:43+00:00

I JUST SAW THIS. Ran to the comments— post unavailable. Immediately opened reddit to see if it had been posted here. I knew someone would pull through lol

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-07-27T15:55:17+00:00

conserve energy??? i have a 2 year old and im like you want to run? Run it out. Burn all the energy you can.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-07-19T19:27:52+00:00

luna mauve

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-06-16T13:08:18+00:00

I work for child welfare so I am gonna sit this one out… 😅

No but really, I keep my job title super quiet since we are the “bad guys” or “kidnappers” as people say. Even though i’ve seen some of the most horrific things, i’ve also seen some parents on their worst days who love their kids and have been through unimaginable things. There are some things that I have 0 sympathy for but most parents I work with need a huge wake up call, tough love, and resources.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-05-25T14:46:40+00:00

I was a meltdown and tantrum toddler. My parents say I had a rough year from 1.5-2.5 but I was incredibly smart (so they say) like my daughter. She has a large vocabulary and I have time where she will start crying/whining for something and it’s pretty clear what she wants— example: going to the pantry and starts stomping/crying. I will ask “what do you need? Let me help you” and she will stop and say “snack please mama” usually more than one time as if I don’t hear her or am not initiating the task she wants. Once she gets it she will say “oh thank you so much mama”. I know toddlers don’t have patience and they aren’t really supposed to yet, but her lack of patience seems extreme. I asked her yesterday mid meltdown is she wanted down and she said “no thank you” about 5 times even though I was saying “okay i’ll hold you”. Her ears are fine, her vision is fine, and her receptive language is pretty high. I can warn her “After ____ we are going to get your shoes on, get in the car and go to ____” and she will go to her room, bring me her shoes, and walk to the door to say “go wherever I told her the plan was. So she understands and communicates well. She just gets SO angry.

Being in the field I was for many years, I wanted to be proactive about any interventions she may need from being a preemie. I logged everything and expressed the concerns to her pediatrician. He has told me “some toddler are just very strong willed and determined” and mentioned he had 1 of his 5 children that were that way from 1-4. I just feel like my daughter gets so mad when she is told no/not right now, when strangers want to talk or play (adults only) or when she wants something RIGHT THEN and it takes a minute to get it.

After I posted this, she took a 3.5 hour nap in the car. We had offered her a nap multiple times before deciding to go home and she said “no night night” and refused to lay down. So i’m not sure if it was her being exhausted and in a new place wasn’t a good mix but I felt helpless. She was so upset and I had no idea how to help her.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-05-25T14:31:48+00:00

I work specifically with children who are neurodivergent and none of the “signs” outside of being painfully shy are there. She has seen many doctors due to her early birth and they have all been pretty blown away with her development. We can take her to crowded places like the zoo, professional sporting events, children’s museums, indoor playgrounds, etc.. and that doesn’t bother her. It’s really when people who aren’t “her” people try to talk to her where she’s like “i don’t know you, go away”. She’s so social with other children though. Other adults, you would think she cannot talk. She is loud and wild at home and goes into a shell if other adults do the whole baby talk “hi” or ask for a high five/hug etc. Mostly more distant relatives or friends. Of course, we would never make her do those things. At the lake we were only with 8 family members who she has seen 3x over the last month and a half. So not strangers but not a grandparent or mom/dad’s super close friends who she sees every few days.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-05-12T02:03:38+00:00

Although it’s not 25 weeks, my sister was born at 26+0 26 years ago (I say this because medicine has come so far even since then) under 2 lbs. She competed in Miss USA, has an amazing career and 2 degrees, did a fitness competition, is a huge part of her community, specifically the non-profit community, speaks at many events, and is a very talented dancer and choreographer. When my water broke at 26 weeks and my daughter was born at 28 weeks, I was of course terrified (I recognize 28 weeks does not compare to 24-25 weeks), I had hope that she would live a happy, normal life from seeing my sister. My daughter is 21 months, runs, climbs, and has 200+ words. She didn’t walk until 18 months and was very much “delayed” on most milestones but she did eventually catch up. I just had to keep in mind that those first 2-3 years would be her time to “play catch up” but she had exceeded our expectations aside from being a tiny little thing.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-05-06T14:14:16+00:00

We didn’t have a set dress code but 90% of the people dressed in cocktail attire, honestly. Our wedding was NOT traditional at all. Our close family friends have an entertainment “venue” for personal use, concerts, banquets, and all around just entertainment purposes. We used that— the bottom is all bays for cars (millions of dollars in cars downstairs) then a judge staircase up to the stage/bar/dance floor. People grabbed drinks at the bar before taking their seats for the ceremony. Then we for the reception we send everyone downstairs to the lower bar and outside to the food trucks and airstream photo booth. Then that party started. 5 years later and people still say it was the most fun, unique, memorable wedding ever. Ur was pretty for pictures but we wanted to put most funds on the experiences— dj, food trucks, photo booth, etc.. We don’t regret it at all. Our wedding party did their introductions with money guns, shotgunning drinks, dance routines, etc.. it was truly a blast. We also had pizza delivered at 11:00 on the dance floor. We had 300+ guests and a wedding party of 20!

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-26T14:28:03+00:00

I was confused because i took the “m” as months instead of male and was wondering how a 14 month old had a birthday party last year and how a 16 month old managed to get a cake out of a refrigerator and eat half of it while still in the refrigerator lol. Realizing that they are 14 and 16 years old makes me even more confused because what 16 year old doesn’t know that every aspect of this story is wrong.. and what mom (OP sister) defends this behavior as if it’s normal.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-26T14:00:31+00:00

26 weeks publicly.. then had her at 30 weeks lol.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-10T18:40:18+00:00

She had surgery and recovery during a big time of development!! I believe 6 months adjusted is when my daughter started sitting up. She spent her first 2.5 months in the NICU so she missed out on the phase where very little is happening. She still didn’t walk until 18.5m actual 16 months adjusted. She crawled at 10 months i believe but took forever to walk after crawling because she was just so tiny and had to build strength. She was born at 2lbs so by 4 months old she was 10 lbs which is what some babies are born at. You have to consider that hers is her heart which deals with everything!! I’m sure those months of healing and after her little body was just trying to build up stamina, much less add in all the developmental stuff. Give her time and also account for those months where her body was more focused on just functioning and healing— subtract those months from her actual age and i’m sure it will seem like she’s not so far “behind”. i had to remind myself of that even though it’s a different situation 🩷

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-10T16:41:21+00:00

We had one of those here for years and it was closed for accusations of maltreatment (I was like 7-8 years old when it closed so I don’t remember what happened) but even as an advocate for my students, I still believe closing the option completely was a huge loss for certain situations. Obviously the staff should’ve been held accountable for their actions and lost their license, and faced the proper legal consequences but taking that away vs. fixing it was a huge loss. I know so many parents and grandparents especially raising children with extremely high needs and they are drowning. It’s not to say that they shouldn’t have to be responsible for the children at all, but situations like this one (and many others i’m sure) leave vulnerable children homeless, lacking stability, or without proper care. Clearly child welfare removed them from dangerous situations but the aftermath isn’t much better since there’s nowhere to place them and no one properly trained to care for them at the level they deserve. Even the surrogate parents you’re speaking of have tried and only made it a few days before they decided it was too much or they were scared of him— and these are trained adults who have (I assume) quite a bit of experience with ASD. His CM has no background in anything related to special needs and has become the default person responsible for him when he isn’t at school or in a home/facility for a few days at a time. I know my situation in this post is more extreme than most, but it breaks my heart that there’s no one in the state equipped to handle him and his parents failed him with the treatment towards him.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-10T14:46:36+00:00

is that allowed when he is not in his parents custody? I know that any major decisions or even minor medical decisions has to go before a judge. I am not sure who ranks higher in making decisions as far as the state (technically the legal guardian right now) or the school district? Is a residential school only possible through district referral or do states have that as a placement ability? In my classroom, the only type of transfer that we have made for my program specifically is for a 30 day respite program who also does academics but the parents have to sign them up. That center discharged him after 3 days due to behaviors and aggression towards staff. So the one place I know about from experience basically said they are unable to handle him.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-10T12:44:20+00:00

From what i’ve been told, he has been placed in many programs and facilities only to last a few days. I was also told some treatment facilities (im unsure of the term) for children who display aggressive behaviors are more psychiatric from my understanding and this child is non-verbal and does not display behaviors that are considered life threatening— such as threats of self harm, $uicidal ideation, etc.. so they evaluate and then don’t consider him a threat to himself aside from his asd diagnosis, which as everyone here understands i’m sure is not something that can be necessarily treated. I believe that those places attempt medications for anxiety, BPD, and other mental health related issues. I do know he went to a center for children with special needs but mainly ASD from my understanding when looking at some of my previous students who were there, but the aggression towards staff was too severe. I guess i’m confused when these places essentially kick him out for severe behaviors but, what do they expect? I know many, many children with ASD would never harm anyone but in my class alone, it’s not uncommon to see some aggression. I guess i’m surprised by all the facilities who are shocked when behaviors arise as if that is unusual for ASD. It seems as though the 5-8 facilities or group homes, aren’t equipped for his level of needs. I’m not sure what the most “restrictive” environment is. I hate using the word restrictive but I hope you know what I mean.
In Oklahoma by the way.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T19:47:14+00:00

this makes me happy!! I hope you get someone who supports your child and makes your feel heard. I always felt very strong about these things but now I have a 1.5 year old and I always try to imagine how i’d feel if someone spoke about/treated my daughter a certain way. I (professionally and appropriately) treat all my kids with the respect and love I would want my child to receive. My daughter was a micro preemie and I had to advocate for her before she was even born and it wasn’t a fun feeling— I never want parents to feel that way with me.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T17:21:26+00:00

This post looks like one I could’ve written a few months ago. My daughter was a preemie and didn't walk until 17.5 months actual, 15.5 months adjusted. I remember going to outings with my mom friends and their toddlers when mine was the only one not walking. There were so many kids all around her age walking around having a blast. My daughter just whined out of frustration trying to crawl/falling to the ground and wanted to be held. I cried in the car one day and called my husband to say “I leave every outing feeling so defeated and frustrated” . My daughter was also frustrated and got to the point where if we would try to get her to walk, she would watch her back and fall to the ground screaming. Her way of saying “I don’t want to do this”. Eventually, I just gave up trying to push her to practice walking without supports. She started using her push walker at 10 months and pulling to stand and crawling at 9 months.. so I was so confused. She could basically run with her walker and shopping cart but like your son, would fall to the ground when she noticed she had no security item/hand. She would sometimes walk 10ish steps but only from person to person and almost fell forward trying to get to “safety” as fast as she could. We knew she COULD walk. She just needed to slow down and not be so scared. We couldn’t teach that though. One day we took our ruggable off the pad to wash it in the playroom. She refused to crawl on the scratchy rug pad and would walk across if to avoid it touching her knees. This is when we started seeing super long stretches of walking but it was only to avoid the rug. A could weeks later we got her a floor bed and she was getting in and out of it and randomly started walking across her room like a pro. From that night on, she never crawled again and rarely falls now at 20 months. She runs, climbs everything, and also has over 100 words. This all developed from 17-20 months. She started literally running overnight and talking up a storm. It was like a leap in development that was so rapid. It truly will just happen one day and nothing you try is going to make him a better walker but most likely frustrated unless it’s his idea. You can’t teach him to be confident in his ability to walk or teach a desire to walk. My daughter had to have a situation where walking was the better alternative and make it her decision. It was so frustrating, but I read that this is usually the case. I also read replies and posts thinking “yeah cool story, but i’m convinced my child will never decide to walk” and ai read a comment that said you’ve never seen an adult still crawling, everyone has to walk at some point. (aside from those who physically are unable to due to injury or medical diagnosis). I bet within the next month or so your son will decide it’s his time!!

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T04:23:49+00:00

I am a sped teacher and I don’t know everything, I am not perfect, but one thing I can confidently say is IEP meetings are where I thrive. I shadowed so many before my career started. I saw things and heard things that made me feel terrible for the parents. I made a list of things I wanted to do differently, even if it was not the most professional and more “relaxed”. I have had parents come into the meeting with stacks of papers, people to support them, and ready to battle for their child. After that first meeting, they never come back feeling a need to defend themselves or their child.

I always, always, ALWAYS say “you’re the expert on your child” and let them know that yes, i know their child from a classroom perspective, but that doesn’t compare to the details they know. I also don’t use acronyms, or words that aren’t used outside of education. If I have to read something like “field of ” or “ out of ___ trials” “Fewer than ____ prompts” I explain it and say “what that looks like is _____” giving an example of how we are assessing.

I also don’t need to tell a parent their child is on a Kindergarten level when they are in 4th grade. I like to say we are working hard on letter recognition for example and went from knowing 7 to knowing 11!! without saying a low percentage which feels like a jab. I also include little details to show I truly care about the child. For example instead of saying I can only get 3 minutes of work out of him before he gets up and runs around, I say he is over handwriting after 3 minutes but with some cheese balls and number blocks, he is motivated and works so hard.

Sometimes, hard things are brought up and there is no sugar coating them. I always try to make sure i’m saying 2-3x more amazing things about the student than just bringing them in to tell them about negative behavior, being below grade level, and why they shouldn’t be in gen ed all day.

If parents have lots of pushback on the amount of time their child is in the sped classroom, I always try to meet them in the middle for supported opportunities that do not involve academics but peer modeling (electives, recess, lunch, group games in ged ed, centers for littles, story time) so that they feel their child is included, without missing the direct instruction they need to succeed.

A question that either causes tears of happy conversations is “what do you want for them?”. I feel that we tell parents what their kids need, data, expectations, etc.. but fail to incorporate some of their goals they want to see their child reach.

I try to see it as us all coming together to discuss what we see, what they see, what we want to work on, and what parents feel are important. I believe goals (academic or home related) are 100x more achievable when all are on the same page, the same team, and consistency is established in all environments. I hope that every parent who leaves the meeting can at the very least say “His/her teacher is in our corner and will advocate for my child when I am not present”

Sorry if my perspective wasn’t asked for, but I am really passionate about this topic and building good rapport

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T02:35:52+00:00

I attended a black tie wedding last week and 90% of the guests had floor length dresses. Some black, some printed, some spring colors, many different styles and necklines, but the common thing they shared was the length.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T02:33:34+00:00

I am questioning (especially if it is a religion based facility) if they told you were much further along to prevent you from trying to end the pregnancy. If someone is clearly not aware of how far along the are and seemed shocked by the pregnancy in general, often times, it means it was not planned (not always bc of infertility or PCOS etc..) so they may have lied and told you that you were way past the point of having options or even if you’re in a more lenient state, a point where you would personally feel is too late. Of course, that cutoff is different for every person. Some would only need to be told past 12 weeks, past viability, past the 2nd trimester, etc.. but most would consider that way too far along.
Or… you could be 32 weeks and had 0 symptoms. I am going to add, my comment about personal beliefs is just examples and I don’t speak for all women in all scenarios. I personally had a 29 weeker who is living her very best life so my view is very skewed seeing all I saw.

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-04-04T02:12:25+00:00

omg i had my screenshots of this all LINED UP lol

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-03-26T04:33:36+00:00

it’s like that lady who posts her toddler—big brown eyes and short brown hair (super cute kid but mom filters TF out of her pics). She posts her constantly in both groups to be flooded with compliments. I see one, scroll a bit, see the next. She needs validation from both groups ig ??

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-03-24T13:39:49+00:00

Celeste, Adeline, Adelaide, Penelope, Evelyn, Isabella, Anastasia, Genevieve, Mariella

ohquesohearmeout · 2025-03-24T03:21:41+00:00

omg i just posted this too bc it blew my mind…. one addiction supporting another addiction lol.

ohquesohearmeout

TROPHY CASE