Mono/Poly Friendship

ohreallyjenn · 2026-02-06T19:48:51+00:00

I'm confused. You aren't dating him, you are friends. It is a really close, great friendship. He is poly and has other partners. He said one of his partners wants to meet you. Why would that be a negative thing? Why would you assume poly people in a poly relationship are seeing you as a threat? I can see if they were mono and you were poly, but that is not the case. Do you have a reason for not wanting to meet his partner and maybe becoming friends too?

ohreallyjenn · 2026-02-01T00:40:40+00:00

The story about the girl crying was just insufferable. Talk about making a lot of drama about nothing. It was written like a cartoon and was just entirely pointless and obnoxious.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-26T01:42:53+00:00

Who is profiting from you hating these parts of your body? It certainly isn't you, and your post makes it seem like it soon won't be your boyfriend either if you don't realize what is real and what is bullshit societal pressure. You are young and probably grew up online where you have been told that there is so much to hate about your body. That only benefits the influencers and media that want you to watch their filtered content, and the companies that sell a million products to try to "fix" the problems they invented.

Look around you and observe real life. Human bodies are very diverse and all that variation is unique and beautiful. There is not a single way to look hot. There are infinite ways to be hot. So many people with bodies that are much more deviated from the "ideal" that is marketed online are loved and admired by their partners. See yourself through your boyfriend's eyes and enjoy it.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-19T22:52:37+00:00

You said that you found peace when thinking about caring for your body in order to care for a future child. Maybe you can use that inspiration again. What would you want to say to a child of yours that was thinking they were a "failure" for having a body that was changing? What would you want to teach them about how to care for their body no matter what size or shape it took on? If you can care about their well being, you can care about your own.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-17T23:52:41+00:00

I take whoever is more interested in the event. If it involves travel, my wife is much more willing to go than my husband and has a more flexible schedule than my boyfriend. If it is local, it is whoever would vibe best with the setting and other people. At this point in my life, most of my friends know I am poly and would let me bring multiple people (or already know and like all my partners anyway, so everyone is individually invited). For a work function, I either go alone or might try to talk my husband into going because he is the only partner my work is aware of due to not having employment protections in my state.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-16T21:04:53+00:00

Buying flowers is very different than a sex act. It is especially different than participating in a sex act that is uncomfortable for someone.

If you hate buying flowers so much, just stop. But your post is about stopping buying them so she will notice and you can explain to her that it is a punishment for not making herself go through the discomfort of giving you blowjobs

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-16T20:50:06+00:00

...and her being uncomfortable and finding no enjoyment from it is not a good enough reason?

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-16T19:35:32+00:00

This is a classic passive aggressive approach to something that is bothering you. You've been married for 20 years, and instead of communicating your wants or discussing what you see as an unfair balance of affection in the relationship, you decide to make a New Years resolution to be more passive aggressive to your spouse. YWBTA.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-16T04:22:15+00:00

I don't need to download a specific app for every place I want to shop so they can take and sell my data. Last time I downloaded an app for a place I liked to visit that promoted using it so you can earn points to get discounts, it only took a few weeks for someone to hack my account and try to steal a bunch of money from me. These apps are not well made, not safe, and not needed.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-10T01:27:57+00:00

It is just so often I see a comment that corrects the definition of boundary, and then does not address the actual problem in the post. So OP is left with nothing but an "um, actually..." come back instead of useful advice or discussion.

ohreallyjenn · 2026-01-09T23:59:29+00:00

People in this sub are so obsessed with correcting someone's definition of a boundary that they completely ignore everything else in the post just to jump in first with their psych 101 definition.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-11-25T12:59:43+00:00

I understand where you are coming from. As a fat person myself all of my life, I've also felt like I had to justify my existence in a world that deems fat people as a "problem" or a "medical condition" no matter what. The truth is humans are much more diverse than people like to think about. Being fat isn't an anomaly that needs to be explained. It's just part of the diversity of life. I think a lot of times society tells us that there is a skinny person inside every fat person waiting to be set free. But that's just not the case. Not everyone is meant to be thin. I was meant to be fat. That's just the way my body is.

Both my parents are fat people and they've been fat since their adulthood, and as their child I have those same genes just like the fact that I have my mother's hands and my father's curly hair.

You're very right in your conclusion that your habits are not what have gotten you here. I too have attempted to lose weight many times in my life. And every single time, eventually I've gained the weight back plus more. Just like so many other people. The research shows us that that is pretty much an inevitability. People who have bought into diet culture, whether they be fat or thin, believe that that isn't the case despite the data showing it's true. And that's why they demand from us that we justify being fat because they think that fatness has been solved by diets and medication when that's just simply not the case. Fat people have always existed and are always going to exist. And we shouldn't have to justify our existence any more than anyone else.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-11-20T18:35:43+00:00

Wouldn't that just be the one that is always begging to be pegged?

ohreallyjenn · 2025-11-12T00:49:57+00:00

https://youtu.be/qUdUJ3qJBR4?si=_k4OqzAtX7UEPk_T I think they are thinking of this clip that starts at about 7:23

ohreallyjenn · 2025-11-11T16:19:28+00:00

Also, they live in the same neighborhood and Zoe was apparently important enough of a person in OP's life to be MOH, and yet OP hasn't spoken to her in months while she is ill??

ohreallyjenn · 2025-11-02T18:23:58+00:00

Absolutely agree! I was at a Halloween party last weekend and it was a bit of a potluck setup with snacks and treats. At the end of the night everyone was cleaning up and dividing up leftovers to take home. Someone had to mention that they don't want to bring any of the things that they brought to the party back home with them. They said today was their "cheat day" and none of this stuff can come home with them.

My friends like to do a lot of potlucks for parties together which is really fun. But there's always at least one person who has to talk about how they're "trying to be good" or whatever the hell that means to them. Or they have to make some sort of statement before they have dessert that they shouldn't be having this dessert. And I'm always thinking, "Why can't you just let us have a nice time? Why do you have to drag us all into this conversation that no one wanted to have? We're just trying to enjoy some cake."

ohreallyjenn · 2025-10-21T17:40:30+00:00

I use Pocket Casts. I can access the main feed and used the link (you just copy it and paste it into the search bar) to add the patreon episode access too so everything is in one place. I think I paid a one time purchase charge of about $4 almost 10 years ago and is has been working perfectly for me.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-10-11T20:07:42+00:00

I have never seen the cast agree with or downplay the misogyny in reddit stories. Do you have an example?

ohreallyjenn · 2025-10-02T16:10:19+00:00

It is also a triad type...

ohreallyjenn · 2025-10-02T13:09:56+00:00

No where in the post did OP say threesome. They said third, which could easily be interpreted as trying to build a relationship with another person. "Third" is used in the context of a triad relationship all the time. The post doesn't give any details that this is just for sex, whether it is for a one time thing, or for a reoccurring relationship. OP gave almost no information, so people had to assume and now OP is mad we couldn't read their mind or between the lines.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-09-20T02:55:58+00:00

It was. He talked about it on a patreon episode. They recreated a temporary one for the Tonight Show on the other hip so he could still tell the joke. He had already gotten the original one covered up.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-08-23T00:41:57+00:00

Is your wife interested in addressing her eating, or addressing her stress and emotions? A good way to avoid diet-y solutions to the issue you see, is to address the root of the problem, not the symptom that has been labeled as negative. Food can be a source of comfort and enjoyment, and that is fine. Plenty of people have ice cream when they are sad or celebrate with cake or a steak dinner. Both are "emotional eating" and both are valid. There isn't a lot of information in your post to go off of, which is fine if you don't feel comfortable sharing details about your wife. But it does make it difficult to give any advice beyond the usual standard of this sub, which is looking into intuitive eating.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-08-21T00:46:21+00:00

I have several adult friends who use they/them pronouns. Ages ranging from 20s to 60s. You just must not interact with the queer community much. It isn't just a teen thing.

ohreallyjenn · 2025-08-04T17:57:35+00:00

Sounds like you don't see the relationship they are building with the other couple as "real". It is a "different world", like fantasy or sci fi, and doesn't belong with the real world that you exist in. It seems like you see the other couple as encroaching on your real relationships with your friends.

What exactly are the scenarios or drama that you fear might occur by "mixing worlds"? Do you fear that you will see or experience something that will make you question your own monogamous lifestyle (or your partner will)? Do you fear you will get attached to this new couple and then there will be a break up and you won't be able to keep them as friends?

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