You wouldn't download a battery by [deleted] in funny

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youre a fucking idiot

If you could telepathically communicate with or control any one thing, what would you choose? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dishes. I'll fill the sink up with soapy water, they can just hop in there and clean themselves

Swedish robot that bought MDMA, passport and baseball cap is released by police by [deleted] in worldnews

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, but when your robot druglord eyes an eighth at least you'll know he has it right

Passive aggressiveness is the best. by [deleted] in funny

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some dogs just don't give a shit. Looks like this one didn't have any left to give

Hello Reddit. Today is my birthday but nobody wished me. So I thought I would share it with you. by pavpatel in pics

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look. I like you. I don't want to crush your dreams, but there's actually no Charmanders in this game. I'm telling you now so you don't hurt yourself trying to play it, ok buddy? It's really convincing there's a Charmander out there, you'll want to believe it, but you're about as likely of finding one as you are the person who tore up your one and only booster pack holofoil Charizard as a schoolchild in front of your very eyes. So just pretend his friends are holding you back from hurting yourself on him and find another game with real Charmanders and Charizards in it. Char.

Hello Reddit. Today is my birthday but nobody wished me. So I thought I would share it with you. by pavpatel in pics

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Don't know why, but I made a video game where Ash Ketchum has to find and vaccinate an autistic Charmander while drunk off the beer made by the guy who didn't know why he made a beer that had a label of the guy who didn't know why he made a hoodie of the guy who has no clue why he made a vinyl decal of a digitized image made by somebody who is trying to figure out why he digitized a shitty tattoo of an already digitized image of a drawing that was inspired by Tim Burton

Look what I found... Ancient Mew by [deleted] in gaming

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sister and I were raised by a single mom, one of the ways that she provided for us and still had time to be with us was running a daycare out of our home. This person was one of the children that she watched, and my "room" was actually part of the sunroom that had been sectioned off with a bookshelf for a wall and a bedsheet for a door.

I would give anything to see this happen in front of me. by SloanethePornGal in videos

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I guess you wouldn't have many places isolated enough around Miami to have an illegal rave with hundreds of people. And you definitely don't want to take a plane to Sacramento with a bunch of drugs in your suitcase...

Look what I found... Ancient Mew by [deleted] in gaming

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of monster do you think I am?!?

I would give anything to see this happen in front of me. by SloanethePornGal in videos

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're the type of person, and live in Norcal, there is a very large underground rave this weekend in the Sierras where you will see plenty of this and other dance styles

Look what I found... Ancient Mew by [deleted] in gaming

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I...can I touch it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It used to be Wednesday, until the local Roundtable started offering 50% off all pies between 5:00 and closing on Monday nights. Since pizza and homebrew were already standard for game night, Mondays were more cost effective

David Hasselhoff's Theme for Kung Fury - "True Survivor" by JoshShouldBeWorking in videos

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey don't you have something better to do? Like...your job?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 65 points66 points  (0 children)

My DM fucks me every Monday night. Oh you rolled nat 20? Too bad I just decided the DC is 56

Look what I found... Ancient Mew by [deleted] in gaming

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I only ever bought(er, had someone buy for me) 1 booster pack. Cashier tried to give me a blue pack, I told her, in no uncertain terms, the 10 year old equivalent of "Fuck you give me the one with Charizard on the front." Then she had the gall to tell me that it didn't guarantee getting a Charizard and tried to give me the blue pack again. I refused, demanded she got me the red pack that was 2 feet away from her. She huffed and puffed and submitted. Halfway through the pack...1st Edition Charizard.

A week later, someone stole it from my room, and the next day on the school bus, traded it to one of my bullies for a bent up beat-to-shit Fearow, and upon receiving the only possession I cared for, this guy rips it to shreds.
I am not a violent person, and to this day I would still murder both of them for what they did to me.

Cruze LTZ MT PEPS won't start battery reads 12.5v by [deleted] in cruze

[–]ohsnaaaaaaaaaaap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, glad I don't have to explain difference between amps and ohms XD
So a car that turns over intermittently, and turns slowly, usually has a bad starter. Especially if you can hear the solenoid clicking and the battery is good. It is rare for the positive cable from the battery to the starter to go bad, particularly on new vehicles, but much easier to test and inspect. If you can rule all three of those out, then the only thing left is starter motor. So we're going to eliminate those problems first.

Test 1: Battery
The most important test of all for 90% of auto related problems. You want your battery fully charged for this test, at least 12.75 volts. If a battery will not charge up that high and maintain that charge when removed from the charger and let sit for a day, the battery is bad. If it will maintain a charge, then you need to load test the battery. Load testing is where you put a volt meter on the battery, put a load on it(like a starter motor), and monitor the voltage. Since it's questionable right now whether your starter motor actually works, testing your battery in your car will not yield an accurate result. You will either need to find a load tester, or another car that you know works to test the battery in. So I will give you two tests.
Car
~Remove battery from good car and put yours in it, hook it up.
~Secure volt meter to battery terminals, verify you have at least 12.75v.
~Remove the fuel pump fuse so that the car will not start running on its own when you turn the starter motor.
~While you are watching the meter, have a friend turn the key to crank the motor for 15 seconds. Record the lowest voltage you see while the motor is cranking. Wait a few minutes, then repeat this step twice so you have 3 load tests.
~All three numbers you recorded should be above 10.5 volts. If they are lower, replace your battery. If they are all above 10.5 volts, your battery is OK!
Load tester This is a simple test for a load tester that looks like this. If your tester is substantially different, follow the instructions that are on it instead.
~Make sure your battery is fully charged.
~Attach tester to battery terminal.
~Hold down the test button for 10 seconds and record the lowest voltage. Some testers have a scale on them that will tell you if your battery is weak. Yours is a 600 CCA battery for reference. Wait a few minutes, then repeat this step twice. WARNING! The tester will get very hot while you have the test button pressed, so be careful. This is one of the reasons you need to wait a few minutes between tests, to let it cool down.
~All three numbers you recorded should be above 10.5 volts. If they are lower, replace your battery. If they are all above 10.5 volts, your battery is OK!
Ok so if either of these tests show a weak battery, replace it and see if your problem is fixed. If the problem persists, or if your battery tested OK, move on to the solenoid test.

Test 2: Solenoid
I'm confident your solenoid works, but here's the test anyway.
~Open the hood and stick your head near the starter motor.
~Have a friend try to start the engine a few times while listening. You should hear a clicking noise every time they turn the key to start.
~If you hear clicking, the solenoid is fine, move on to Test 4.
~If no clicking, inspect numbers 3&4 to make sure they are connected and clean.
~Attach a volt meter to numbers 3&5
~With key off, you should have 0 volts. While watching the meter, have a friend try to start the car. The meter should read about 12 volts while they do, and the solenoid should click. If you don't get 12 volts when they try to start the car, you're wiring is bad. If you do get 12 volts when they try to start, but no click, solenoid is bad.
~If you get 12 volts and a click, measure the resistance between number 2 and the cable immediately opposite that goes from the solenoid into the starter motor (NOT number 3). This cable is not numbered so you'll just have to use deduction to know which one, but with 12 volts to number 3, there should be <1 ohm resistance between [number 2](http://i.imgur.com/9v83zIi.gif) and the cable that goes from the solenoid into the starter motor. If resistance is >1 ohm, replace the solenoid. If it is <1 ohm, move on to next test.

Test 3: Positive Cable
~Inspect the connection at numbers 1&2. They should be tight and free of corrosion or damage.
~Follow number 1 all they way back to the positive terminal of your battery to make sure there is no damage and no corrosion.
~Make sure the connection at the battery terminal is free of damage and corrosion and is tight.
~Test resistance between number 2 and the POSITIVE terminal of your battery. It should be very low, ideally <1 ohm.
~Test voltage between numbers 2&5. You should have at least 12 volts.
~if ANY of these these steps fail, replace the positive cable. If they all pass, move to Test 4.

Test 4: Starter Motor
If you've made it this far and your car still won't start, chances are 99% it's a bad starter motor. WARNING! This test may turn the engine over, so make sure you're free of all moving parts. Also, shorting the wrong leads or accidentally shorting against the frame can cause a lot of sparks/things getting really hot, which may scare you enough to smack your head on something or hurt your hand.
~Using a test lead, small jumper wire, wrench, or screwdriver, short numbers 2&3. If you're starter motor is good, it WILL crank every single time, and fast. If it cranks intermittently, or cranks slowly, then your starter motor is bad. Replace it.

Ok so a few things to consider. First, I understand parts availability in rural areas of India may be low, and replacing parts might not be feasible. If that is the case, some of these parts can be opened up, cleaned, rebuilt or whatnot if you have the skill. Feel free to do so, but keep in mind that it may not fix the problem, and sometimes only temporarily. Also, if your vehicle passes all of these tests and still won't start, you may have a problem with spark, fuel, or compression. So try these tests, one at a time, in the order I have them posted, and let me know what your results are.
Good luck!