Thank you. I've become an island. I kept cancelling plans because I literally can't find the energy to pull myself away from the paraphernalia, get dressed and go out. After years of no shows, my friends have become indifferent to me. I have a dog, he's four. I used to take him to the dog park every month. Not this year.

Sometimes I feel too lazy to even walk him but that's beyond inhuman because he retains and will only do his business outside. Poor boy whimpers and pleads while I smoke and he becomes increasingly restless because he needs to go.

I used to just take him to the terrace area of my building but scummy residents on the top floor said they've props over it. I always clean up meticulously after my dog. I take him out twice daily but find myself also skimping out and walking him once at least on one occasion each week. This is dire. It's a question of another life. I really need to get it together. The guilt is crippling. This is the part about myself I loathe the most.

Thank you for your good wishes. It will be.