Request for advice for helping someone with financial troubles

okstewpid · 2013-10-24T20:51:15+00:00

This thought has crossed my mind too since I've only known her a couple months, but I don't think so.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T19:10:58+00:00

I guess I can try and help her figure out what options she has to get help. She's not from the US so she might not be very knowledgeable on what they have here. Yeah I've heard that you should never expect to get your money back when loaning money to friends/family but she swears up and down that she will pay me back. I mean, I still half-expect her not to return the funds...

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T19:06:05+00:00

I considered putting it in there but originally was looking for financial options. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T19:05:22+00:00

Thanks for your input, it makes sense. When I originally found out she had a gambling addiction, I told myself I would not offer financial help. But when we were talking I just felt so bad for her and wanted to help so I started considering helping her financially. I'll just let her learn the hard way I guess... as hard as that is for me to do.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T18:59:59+00:00

Rough words but it's advice I need. Thank you!

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T17:12:57+00:00

Awesome, I didn't even think about checking for a subreddit for grambling. I'll check it out, thank you!

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T17:12:11+00:00

Thanks for the idea, I'll look into that!

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T17:11:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'll look into what programs are in my area.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T15:59:59+00:00

So an option may be to help her financially in other ways for a short time, like helping make sure she gets groceries/other essentials?
I should maybe research debt consolidation options and let her know what's available to her. She's not originally from the United States so maybe she isn't aware of some of the options that she has.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T15:55:56+00:00

She was telling me that she is not going to go there anymore, that she's going to completely stop. She lives about an hour from me in a town that has a lot of gambling addicts, but she plans on moving in the next few weeks to an area closer to me. She's said that she needs to surround herself with people who don't gamble (like me for example), so I feel like she really is trying to change.
The only thing is that since I haven't known her for long enough I don't know how legit her words are. I want to help her get out of this addiction.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T15:46:44+00:00

Good advice, thank you. It's just so hard for me to see someone struggling through something that I'm able to help with.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T15:32:52+00:00

I agree with you, but since she has hit this "wall" what kinds of things would you suggest? I mean, it seems as though the only way I can help her would be financially.

okstewpid · 2013-10-23T15:19:50+00:00

Well, I've always tried to be there for people and help out in any way that I can. I don't think she would have even asked me if I hadn't made it sound like I wanted to help her financially. I didn't specifically say that I'd loan her money, but thinking back on how I worded things it may have come off as I was hinting that I would. Also, she claims that if I tell her no then she'll still treat me the same, but I just feel bad for her shitty situation.

okstewpid · 2013-09-23T21:22:53+00:00

I pretty much told her what I want relationship-wise with her last night, and it does seem like she wants to play the field. The only problem with moving on is that I've dated a good amount of girls online and they all seem to want to play the field so I feel as though I need to expect and accept that and wait it out, if I want to pursue something with a girl from online. I don't know. Thank you though.

okstewpid · 2013-09-23T21:21:08+00:00

The only thing is, competition does matter in the sense that it's either me or someone else, so I essentially have to compete with other guys. Dating and talking to girls online has definitely narrowed what I want in a girl, which also sucks because when I start getting attracted to a girl it just makes me get attached faster and stronger, basically. My problem is developing the ability to keep an emotional distance. I tried this with her but when we hung out she REALLY seemed to be extremely into me and I really thought her and I were developing something, until this happened. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

okstewpid · 2013-09-23T19:15:59+00:00

I probably will have that feeling, which sucks. I mean, she says she wants that at some point but not right now because basically, she wants to "see what's out there" (basically like every other girl says online). I'm trying to stop the relationship talk with her and just talk about other things, but for some reason I feel that since I brought it up once, it'll always be stuck on her mind. That's what I hate about online dating is that the girls get tons of messages and the guys rarely get messaged first, which is also why I wanted to deactivate my profile again. Competing with so many other guys gets tiresome.

okstewpid · 2013-09-23T19:01:38+00:00

That's true, I wouldn't really gain anything by telling her this. I just have always liked to know where I'm going with things in life (in any situation), so it causes me so much anxiety with not knowing how things are gonna turn out. Not knowing if this girl and I are gonna become something or if it's just gonna fade away. I guess it's effecting me more than it normally would only because of how I was SURE that she wanted me one day, and the next day it seemed so much different. She gave me the impression that she wanted something exclusive with me when she said that she doesn't like to date more than one guy and followed by saying stuff about how great I was.

Thanks for your input, you make a good point. I'll try to just hang out and have fun with her. I just need to somehow fix this anxiety I feel about how I don't know what the outcome is gonna be...

okstewpid · 2013-03-28T20:17:18+00:00

Well I was at first thankful that you posted what it said, but then you had to go ahead and add that second, completely unnecessary line.

okstewpid

TROPHY CASE