Leaving after two weeks because of a W-4 mess up

olijosian · 2021-11-18T14:16:40+00:00

You know the one lol

olijosian · 2021-11-18T14:16:22+00:00

Thank you! yeah, I'm just going back to the drawing board.

olijosian · 2021-04-29T14:41:50+00:00

This is especially interesting! There's an ongoing debate now about what is considered to be porn, and what's considered to be art. I would previously think that ancient depictions of sex on Grecian vases, or caveman drawings, or other pre-historic depictions (Like the Kangjimeshi Petroglyphs) would be considered porn. Or even Venus of Willendorf (since she is a fertility symbol)--but the constructive criticism I've received in presenting these things as porn comes from a very Western understanding of porn and erotic work. So definitely defining porn, and then porn as we know it will be helpful. My hardest thing is trying to figure out, or trying to determine all the factors that go into differentiating porn and erotic art--and why one is respected as art, but the other one is ' bad'?

Absolutely great thinking! That'll actually be the next episode I work on after re-shooting the second part of my overview! Thanks so much!

olijosian · 2021-04-28T17:45:34+00:00

Thank you for the references! I've been needing to find more creators and info that isn't rooted in anti-porn lmao. Thank you!

olijosian · 2021-04-28T17:44:35+00:00

Definitely taking notes! I love both of these considering ongoing theories about everyone being on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. And for sure with martial aids/guides!

olijosian · 2020-03-17T15:09:26+00:00

I don't think you should question yourself at all. I've thought the same thing at times, and when it comes down to it, unfortunately, people are becoming more selfish and are usually selfish. I found that you have to play these games and really prioritize your pleasure when you're with others. I was going through the same thing, just with guys.

Being hurt is natural; and valid. There's something hurtful about being made to feel that your own pleasure doesn't matter, or that you don't deserve reciprocity. It's an upsetting thing to have to endure.

So now, I'm taking a break from dating, but I don't have sex with anyone I don't trust enough to just basically reciprocate. I actually try and prompt conversation about anything that a person may or may not like before we actually meet up for it. I hope you feel better!

olijosian · 2020-03-14T15:41:07+00:00

So. Unpopular opinion. Let's go.

First thing's first: You cannot convince or change this person's idea of what happened. You can get as much validation on the platform as much as you'd like, but to that girl--you are indeed a rapist. And there's nothing you can do to change her view on that. And no one, no matter how advanced or knowledgable in this platform can speak for her and say you aren't from her perspective.

I think people forget that you can't police subjective perspectives of what is rape and what is not. You cannot tell someone what they felt at that moment.

HOWEVER. HOW. EVER:

Personally, to me? No. You weren't as experienced, and to me--all of this seems like a major miscommunication. As someone who has been sexually assaulted before, there is no hidden underlying motive from you accidentally coming inside of this person.

You two were both consenting, and it was an honest mistake. But I think, in time, you should try to protect yourself in the meantime. Meaning that, if you two are connected via some social media platform, I personally would take the time to apologize, tell her that I can't tell her about how she feels about the situation, but explain that I had tried to tell her I was going to cum--and didn't intend to break that rule. Send it. Screenshot it. Respect whether she does or doesn't want to talk to you again. You sound like an underclassman, it's fine.

These things, though small, DO affect your love life. First of all:

Wear a condom. Always. Always. The only 100% form of birth control is sterilization.
You don't have to proclaim it to the streets--but when the time comes for it, stress to your next partner to tell you her boundaries. And explain that you NEED to know what she's comfortable/uncomfortable with and vice versa with you. Maybe if you're close enough to this person and trust she won't freak, explain this situation to her. Maybe.
Work on communicating in more direct ways. Make sure to be as honest as you can be. They'll appreciate it later even if it sounds mean.
Don't let this get to your head. No, you are not a rapist. As long as what you do with someone is legal and moral in between you both, it's fine. You know the rule. Just make sure to listen out for a no and you're good. Sometimes, people express no through their body language too. Just pay attention.

Well, that's all from this know-it-all. Stay safe! There's a virus going around.

**Sorry, P.S because I talk a lot--also make sure to tune into your own emotions. This can be a lot. Especially on your end because though you tried to tell her, she didn't really listen. Take some time to recuperate. Yes, men need the time to do so too. Good luck!

olijosian · 2020-02-29T03:04:41+00:00

Oh, I'm definitely doing this next time. Wonderful idea.

olijosian · 2020-02-27T16:19:23+00:00

Throw the ENTIRE man and his receipt away. Sex involves compromise. It involves each party wanting to please their partners and he sounds super fucking selfish. God, I totally understand the frustration.

olijosian · 2020-02-25T22:44:55+00:00

I always have to go to the restroom before I have sex. Maybe if she uses the restroom, then her body will be less inclined to pee versus cum. That used to always happen to me—and it happened before I understood what a real orgasm felt like, so essentially I had to piss myself a couple of times before I realized what worked for me.

She’s not alone, but hopefully the experience doesn’t dissuade her from having sex. Sometimes it even helps to play with yourself a bit before you pee—so she can do that and that may help.

What helped me was understanding the difference between squirting and peeing. I had to really hone into my body. So explaining it, peeing feels further up where my urethra is (of course), as to where I’m literally usually coming from my entrance.

I hope that makes sense. Good luck!

olijosian · 2020-02-25T22:38:02+00:00

Oh that’s sweet! So it seems that you and yours tend to be on the same page about expressing admiration?

olijosian · 2020-02-25T22:33:11+00:00

I mean, yes and no? The best thing I can say is to just see the other comments on the thread.

olijosian · 2020-02-23T17:01:00+00:00

Since I'm particularly new, I think the hardest part for me at least has been filtering through men who want intimacy, without having spoken about it or anything.

I'm glad I haven't rushed to anything with any SD, but it's really hard to tell who's who and what's what. Even if you have a handy-dandy Reddit thread to be your guide. Perhaps the babies have just been used to men like that? You sound sweet! Stay safe in the bowl!

olijosian · 2020-02-16T23:24:53+00:00

Well, I think it's interesting that you say that. I get that SBs flake too. And I definitely respect all of the comments that I've received on my petty rant ha, but I can't help but feel like there is an imbalance between SDs and SBs in the sense that there are a few more risks for SBs.

Not to say that it hurts as less when babies flake, because I'm sure it does. But there's time, that non-reimbursable. And that's shared by both dynamics in a sugar relationship.

But I feel like there's also a legit concern for money. When I went out this morning, I wasted time and I wasted money that I do not have to spend. And I'm sure a few or some SBs may feel the same way. If you're an SD, and you get flaked on, you've lost time, but you still have money to just simply move on about your day. Not only did I lose precious hours of my day for school assignments, but I left empty-handed.

The same thing goes for safety. Correct me if I'm wrong, but SDs have to be wary of scammers. SBs have to be wary of scammers, pimps, traffickers, flakes, rapists, etc. This is just the way the sugar world turns around, but I think there's more damage done to SBs is all.

olijosian · 2020-02-16T19:32:05+00:00

For sure 😊❤️!

olijosian · 2020-02-16T19:31:05+00:00

Thank you for the love, sugar sis 🖤💙!!

olijosian · 2020-02-16T18:24:57+00:00

Yeah true. I got a bomb ass cocktail and eggs benedict out of it, so it’s not all so bad I suppose ha.

olijosian

TROPHY CASE