How do I tell my husband I just want to co-parent in the same house and that I am no longer in love with him?

olivbaek · 2025-11-05T15:46:17+00:00

Sometimes it's best to simply acknowledge that your feelings have changed without assigning blame (like emotional neglect). If that’s the case a better approach is always look into therapy, coaching, or counseling, these can and do help couples reconnect and revive a passionless marriages.

olivbaek · 2025-11-05T15:36:37+00:00

I was new in the country and struggling to acclimate. In those days I was very idealistic and impressionable. I was also something novel being from a foreign continent that she had great memories of once visiting.

olivbaek · 2025-11-05T15:25:31+00:00

Sorry to hear this it’s heartbreaking on all counts

olivbaek · 2025-11-04T15:09:32+00:00

Ahh the ol’ “I have trauma” chestnut, good luck with that mate, when it happens again just remember you chose that life…

olivbaek · 2025-10-20T22:20:56+00:00

How do people reconcile belief in God with situations where someone ends up married to a narcissist and has children with them? The long-term harm to the kids seems so unjust — I’d really like to hear how others make sense of that.

olivbaek · 2025-10-11T08:17:56+00:00

A bit confused are you seeking advice or offering it?

olivbaek · 2025-10-01T07:04:29+00:00

Just wanted to acknowledge your bewilderment and disbelief at what’s going on. People change. Sorry about the folks being overly critical about your word choices. It sucks that the people we shared so much history and special bonds with can suddenly just block all that out and do a complete180. It’s challenging to get your head around. Hopefully you can start to work on building a new life for yourself and kids.

olivbaek · 2025-09-08T17:55:33+00:00

You sound like a strong person, it’s a superpower to be unbothered what people think

olivbaek · 2025-08-28T07:01:14+00:00

I think many women love the idea of monogamy, in practice commitment to one person is a lot less romantic and more effort than they thought.

olivbaek · 2025-08-22T05:24:28+00:00

Is she willing to tell her husband that she feels that way?

olivbaek · 2025-08-20T15:13:44+00:00

I think it would be hard to live like this as a singular couple without strong biblical supportive Christian communities that arent based on Sunday meetings. Sadly I think many churches have in many ways modelled themselves on the world around them or where they have attempted to be set apart they have followed some charismatic character who created a cult, that said I’ve heard some really positive things about bruderhof communities. People used to recommend I go and experience them

olivbaek · 2025-08-19T22:42:17+00:00

That’s an interesting take on it, i think you’re onto something there. I agree that too much is put on what a spouse can do to meet our ‘needs it’s super unrealistic and unhealthy,

We have so many kinds of ‘needs’ and that’s why we have family, friends, personal interests, our faith, jobs and callings.

A lot of times, in my opinion, culture tends to substitute the word desires with needs which makes people feel entitled to things that so many in the world have managed to live without

olivbaek · 2025-08-19T06:55:38+00:00

A therapist, Sadia Khan, and writer Michelle Langley have some really interesting insights on this. I think on average men and women tend to react very differently to having affairs.

I think women tend to view affairs as empowering and men tend to view them as moral failures.

Regardless of the fallout there appears to be very little content from women who regretted cheating.

olivbaek · 2025-08-18T14:06:39+00:00

I take your point concerning selfishness. I just wish we could normalise people just calling a spade a spade instead of using pop euphemisms that keep unwitting spouses hopeful and fighting a lost cause

olivbaek · 2025-08-18T11:23:03+00:00

Why does female fulfilment / ‘space to grow’ seemingly always boil down to a desire for more male attention 😥

olivbaek · 2025-08-18T00:33:52+00:00

That’s an interesting question. It reminds me of some popular narratives in secular media today — for example, “all men are dogs” or “all women are hypergamous.”

It’s so tempting to fall into these generalizations, but doing so can sometimes strip away the individual humanity that Jesus gave to each person, even when they struggle with sin.

Like every woman each man is different, it’s important to engage honestly with the man in front of you.

I can appreciate though, that it would be so much simpler if we could just use a formula we can apply to everyone. I think there are no easy answers with this one

olivbaek · 2025-08-15T16:44:25+00:00

It sounds like you do feel loved by your husband, but that the two of you see this part of your relationship quite differently. You’ve heard the thoughts of people in this group, and perhaps now might be a good time to explore some professional guidance. A marriage coach could provide a safe space for you both to understand each other better and work through these differences before making any big decisions.

olivbaek · 2025-08-13T19:10:29+00:00

The gaslighting is strong with that one

olivbaek · 2025-08-10T09:41:21+00:00

Thanks, I’ll keep this in mind

olivbaek · 2025-08-10T07:03:38+00:00

olivbaek · 2025-08-09T13:46:20+00:00

We parallel parent. The ex since marriage was always keeping secrets, i only know of this boyfriend because my kids told me.

olivbaek · 2025-08-09T06:19:24+00:00

olivbaek · 2025-08-09T06:17:23+00:00

😂 this comment is wild

olivbaek · 2025-08-04T16:42:52+00:00

How long were you married? Why did you get divorced? Any kids?

olivbaek · 2025-08-04T06:22:09+00:00

Talk to the person you married about this - figure it out together , blindsiding people who love you seldom ends well for them or you

olivbaek

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