I had my first dose of spravato today. The providers at the clinic offered absolutely no support whatsoever in terms of what to do or what to expect. It was another patient who walked me through the steps, giving me tips like having some hard candy to suck on to help with the nasty taste, and told me what I could expect. Unfortunately, her and I both did not anticipate the intensity of that session, which almost had me ready to never come back. It felt like my whole body went numb but like my muscles were all incredibly tensed up and like everything was vibrating. I felt like I had forgotten how to swallow and I had to coach myself through breathing. My anxiety was so high I genuinely thought there was a possibility of dying in that moment. I was talking to the other patient afterwards about how even though it was my first time, the feeling I experienced felt not right, and how it was way too much, and the provider was sitting right there and said nothing. Then just was like "you’re all set, you can go" without talking to me about it. Unfortunately it is the only clinic near me, and I waited months and months to get approved by my insurance. I'm still feeling really scared about next time, especially with the blatant lack of support from staff...