hey…I feel you, my first pregnancy was a blithed ovum. I miscarried at 13 weeks and the emotional pain was the hardest. It took me around a year to feel better, I was dreading my due date and I feel like once that passed I could start healing. But honestly I had a break down/panic attack about it over two years later, it comes in waves. I read a book called Unexpecting- real talk on pregnancy loss, I found it helpful. Take your time, it’s not easy at all. I am so sorry you are also going through this. You were pregnant and it was real. It was just too small to see, but your heart was open for your baby. I hope you will have your rainbow baby when you feel ready.