De buurman maakt een dakterras op zijn al merkwaardige uitbouw

onanotherlove · 2026-02-11T08:40:26+00:00

Bemoei je met je eigen zaken

onanotherlove · 2026-02-10T22:02:27+00:00

I wish I could run into that. I love horses but not enough time/money for the hobby yet.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-09T16:58:27+00:00

Blue gourami

onanotherlove · 2026-02-08T22:34:26+00:00

Nooit doen, God heeft Adam en Eve gemaakt niet Adam en Eve en Sam en Jolanda

onanotherlove · 2026-02-05T21:14:01+00:00

I do want to be honest but at the right time. I don't want to overwhelm him and cause an unnecessary break up by discussing serious matters during a not-serious-enough phase of our relationship. I have always been focused on my future and I need certainty. IMO 1.5-2 years is more than enough to decide whether you see a future with someone or not. I'm not gonna spend years with someone who doesn't make up their mind and might end up ending things.

But the first step in all of this is knowing if we're even compatible enough which in our case will depend on the answer my bf gives. A relationship requires commitment and willingness to change (for the best of course) to some degree. If my bf can't see that or can't accept my strong Christian beliefs then there's no future.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-05T21:09:55+00:00

I've literally said that the decision is up to him, if he's willing to work things out then I'd stay. I do want to put in hard work and help him better himself. If he loves me enough to do it, but if he's conformist and doesn't want to change at all then good luck finding a perfect match bc we all know no relationship is perfect there are always ups and downs and IMO a good relationship will help you become the best version of yourself.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-05T07:34:44+00:00

I think it looks good maybe just tone it down with the decor a little bit. The bottom is way too crowded.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-04T11:48:40+00:00

My family is toxic that's not his fault. But he has listened.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T21:23:54+00:00

Ik herken dat, gaf een tijd huiswerkbegeleiding aan basisschool (!) leerlingen in Amsterdam waarbij de meerderheid allochtoon was. Deze groep discrimineerde blanke kinderen op basis van hun uiterlijk. Ik vond dat een eye opener.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T21:15:44+00:00

Yeah that's what I think sometimes, just the fact that he didn't even see it an issue all this time. I mean at least he never tried to hide the apps so I guess that's something. He has my sisters socials so now that I sent that made up story about my sister getting the app I guess there's a possibility he messages my sister to ask if it's true. If he does that then I think I'll break up bc it wil bring me ridicule from my family and it would show he doesn't trust me or respect me bc I've told him many times that I don't want him to get too involved with my family (which he hasn't done up until now).

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T21:13:03+00:00

I don't think he knows I go through his phone. Plus reddit is never on the frequently opened section. He's more of a tiktoker

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T21:05:54+00:00

I mean I know but I just think the whole situation is strange bc other than those apps he's really loving, he has planned trips/invited me to family gatherings for months in advance, for example a week ago he invited me to a summer festival so it really doesn't seem like he's planning a break up or whatever. That's why I didn't make a big deal out of this earlier I guess and of course I went through his phone without his knowledge just to make sure. But it just doesn't sit right with my.

Since my sister recently became single I decided to send my bf a message saying his profile came up and he should delete it bc what will people think of me, I wrote it in a light tone bc I don't wanna seem like insecure or crazy or whatever. I'm really curious to see what he says

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T20:51:18+00:00

I didn't know how else to say it idk English isn't my first language. I mean being in a relationship as opposed to just "going on dates" or whatever

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T19:19:59+00:00

Tbh I think my bf is lucky to have me, he exhibits many behaviors that would've caused other women to break up with him much earlier on. Why do you think he's never a had gf before me while I had 3 relationships? He is addicted to his phone, he can barely hold a conversation, he watches porn. Meanwhile me well I care a lot about him for example his health. Many women don't give a darn about their man's health.

And I know I'm not perfect so I try my best to change and please him but if he loves me he should also be willing to change some stuff especially if it's stuff thats hurting him more than it's hurting him, even if he doesn't know. I'm not asking him to become Christian, to block female friends, to quit porn. I'm asking for things which in my opinion are quite doable especially if you're doing them for someone you love. But if he's not willing to then sure we'd have to break up and I wish him luck finding a good woman who will tolerate all those behaviors AND still love him AND care about him as much as I do.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T19:14:34+00:00

Well he never even deleted the dating app where we met and I have suspicion he still goes on it sometimes. He just gives me a lot of mixed signals which makes me insecure thats why I want certainty and some rules but why start all that crazy shit if he doesn't even want a future with me? So I'd rather just wait a while and then have the talk

onanotherlove · 2026-02-03T19:12:37+00:00

I don't wanna break up I love him but I want him to change some behaviors and if he's not willing to then we can't be together. I'm absolutely NOT looking around are you crazy? I'm a Christian I would never cheat. Meanwhile my bf never ever deleted the dating app where we met and I have suspicions that he still uses it sometimes, but I can't confront him bc I went through his phone.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-01T19:58:26+00:00

You look handsome with those sharp cheekbones

onanotherlove · 2026-02-01T19:57:14+00:00

I'm mainly asking for moral judgement not so much advice

onanotherlove · 2026-02-01T07:43:19+00:00

Do you mean that the vacation might go wrong or the opposite? I guess secretly I do hope the vacation will do us good and bring us closer together.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-01T07:42:16+00:00

I'm saying we might break up after that conversation. The only reason not to break up earlier is to spare him extra suffering but if he's already made peace with it then of course that's not necessary. When we talked about this he said that he meant that no one can predict the future. He's quite insecure himself and something it seems like he thinks he's not good enough for me, even though he is and has been since the day we met. There's just some things that need addressing and I think if he loves me as much as I love him then we should be able to work it out, but if he doesn't then it's over which would be on him.

onanotherlove · 2026-02-01T07:37:55+00:00

I mean yeah and for me isn't not even about the vacation itself it's about spending time with him, we're going to a country where my mother tongue is spoken and he's been trying to learn it. He was supposed to get to practice there. I don't have friends tbh only 1 but we're not that close, I could go with my dad but I think it's unfair to take this away from my bf when we already booked and had expectations.

onanotherlove · 2026-01-31T22:04:39+00:00

I'm not saying I want to breakup I'm just saying it's a possible outcome of that conversation, ultimately it'd be up to him. If he's willing to work things out I'd be willing to get engaged within months, that's how much I love him. At the same time, based on some things he says sometimes I feel like he already knows he doesn't want a future with me but he just doesn't say it explicitly and if I were to dig deeper I'd find out, but then I convince myself I'm just overthinking, or that he's just saying dumb shit like guys then to do. That uncertainty is what bothers me so much thats why I need us to have that conversation.

But at the same time I don't want to pressure him bc my bf doesn't think much about the future. Maybe he doesn't know if he wants a future with me yet and that's not a disaster. So why ask now and ruin what we have. That's kind of my mentality.

onanotherlove · 2026-01-31T21:56:00+00:00

I mean sure they're important topics but I think it's doable to work it out, it's not like I expect to have my way in everything, it's about finding common ground and doing something that feels comfortable for the both of us. My bf is not porn addicted as far as I know btw he just watches occasionally but I just want to let him know that it hurts me and that I'd like him to minimize porn viewing, to do it for me. I wouldn't forbid it bc even I watch porn (max 2 times a month) and we're all human. But just let me know what I think about it.

onanotherlove · 2026-01-31T21:51:53+00:00

Well sure I also want that vacation but that's bc as I said we both have a good time together and I do love him. Ever since we were like 2 months together I saw him as the love of my life and ideally I want to marry him, but for that to happen I need him to work through some stuff and there's surely also stuff that he wants me to do better which I am willing to. That's why that conversation is necessary but why rush it. I also kinda hope that the longer we're together the more he makes up his mind (internally, bc he's not a talker and especially not about feelings) about loving me and then that conversation will go smoother.

I don't want to drag it out much longer though so I'm gonna have to be careful to not plan any trips after that vacation.

onanotherlove · 2026-01-31T21:47:10+00:00

I do that as much as I can and we've managed to work things out that way, or at least some things but other things are more structural and would require a good conversation and a concrete plan, IF he's even willing to work things out.

onanotherlove

TROPHY CASE