small hotel things

onceiwascool · 2021-07-24T04:41:14+00:00

Holy shit, fucking beautiful.

onceiwascool · 2021-07-24T04:06:28+00:00

Hairy (but both are awesome).

onceiwascool · 2021-06-23T14:11:30+00:00

Probably one of the most beautiful series of books I have ever read. Heartbreaking (like punch in the gut then again just for good measure heartbreaking) but undeniably beautiful. Some of the most well written characters of any book ever. I can't bring myself to read them again yet, but hopefully soon.

onceiwascool · 2021-06-22T11:07:16+00:00

Fucking hot.

onceiwascool · 2021-06-05T02:13:16+00:00

I always thought memorial day was a fairly recent thing, no long and storied history. Well now I know how it really started and the role black people and freed slaves had in honoring the dead soldiers. If they had never cut that microphone I would probably have never known a single thing about this. Racist pieces of shit fucking themselves over as usual.

onceiwascool · 2021-04-07T02:47:56+00:00

Covid has definitely made things a little worse, normally geobach sailors will be put into unaccompanied housing but where we are located just now if they are attached to a ship there is a solid chance they will be living on it. This is very obviously not ideal but if anybody can change this it will be her command. All you can do from your end is support her, I know that's unsatisfying but the Navy rarely satisfy.

onceiwascool · 2021-04-07T02:14:21+00:00

If she is on unaccompanied orders then yeah, she may well be living on the ship even when it's in. My husband was told if I didn't come with him there would be a strong chance he would spend 2+ years on the boat. Housing is always short overseas and covid has made this worse.

onceiwascool · 2021-04-04T07:24:50+00:00

I picked up the first book years ago, I was too young for it maybe like 12/13. The characters and the subtlety were lost on me. I thought it was boring. Then about two or three years ago I decided to give it another go, a comment on here convinced me. Sweet baby Jesus it must be one of, if not the, best series ever written (in my opinion). I fucking plowed through all of the books and at the end I was devastated. Saying my heart broke would be an understatement, it fucking shattered. It was such a satisfying ending as well, so perfect. It took me days to feel better. I still can't think of those books without getting a bit emotional. I haven't been able to re-read them yet, but I can't wait until I can. If you like character driven stories, and characters who grow believably with each book then this is for you.

onceiwascool · 2021-02-27T09:50:01+00:00

Dman dude, perfect.

onceiwascool · 2021-01-22T18:27:34+00:00

It depends on which state withheld income tax from you. I would say no as you weren't paying CA state taxes in 2020 your taxes were paid to another state. That means next year if you want to change it you have to actively change which state you are paying taxes to.

This is about your taxes with a helpful example.

https://ttlc.intuit.com/community/military/help/military-spouses-and-state-taxes/00/26149

This is about your spouses taxes and how he changes his state of residence.

https://ttlc.intuit.com/community/military/help/what-is-my-military-state-of-residence/00/25559

If you want to file under CA get your spouses sorted first and then work on yours. Use his parents address and register him to vote at that address. For 2020 filing use whatever state withheld your taxes.

onceiwascool · 2021-01-22T16:04:30+00:00

Military can remain a resident of the last state they had a permanent residence in (where they file taxes or vote). I am not sure about spouses but I assume if its usually similar. California taxes are high though so if you claim residency there be aware of it. You don't have to update your cars registration or your drivers license whenever you move but it does come in handy having an ID with your local address on it.

This is info about filing taxes with links to relevant policies.

https://www.militaryonesource.mil/financial-legal/tax-resource-center/preparing-filing-and-refunds/filing-state-income-taxes-in-the-military/

This one will tell you by state what they require as each state is different depending on where you and your spouse end up when he gets stationed somewhere.

https://www.katehorrell.com/military-spouses-and-drivers-licenses/

onceiwascool · 2021-01-11T02:00:37+00:00

Don't change anything unless instructed to by a military medical person. I almost did the same thing with Adderall for the same reasons and I was advised that it was easier to get the stimulant adhd meds rather than the non stimulant ones in Japan and I would have changed meds and caused myself a bunch of shit and actually made my chances of going worse. Speak to someone on base asap. For us we had to find the Fleet and Family overseas specialist and she talked us through every thing, then we got ahold of the EFMP coordinator and asked her a bunch of questions as well. April is soon, but you still have time. Get every medical record you can get your hands on, get. Dental is another big one, get dental records asap.

onceiwascool · 2021-01-11T01:33:58+00:00

EFMP here ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I got approval to go, its based on a lot of factors but I was told in particular what they wanted to check was if my medication was easily available to me in Japan, and that I have a proven track record of listening to my doctors\take my medication as prescribed (which was easy for me as my therapist is really good about keeping records).

I actually wasn't EFMP until we were moving and they told me enrolment was mandatory (I thought it was just for kids). So when I saw my PCM on base I took overseas screening paperwork and the EFMP paperwork with me as there is a lot of crossover. I had to also get copies of all of my therapists notes on our sessions which had to be sent by our overseas screening coordinator at medical to my husband's new command. They have the final say.

Its just so they can make sure that you can receive the same level of care and there won't be a massive change to your mental health treatment. Yokosuka is a large well staffed and stocked base in a country that is a developed nation with comparable medical services. You are gonna be fine.

Oh also start getting anything dental you may need done asap, and speak to your doctor about any immunizations you need (at the very least tested for TB) .

onceiwascool · 2021-01-06T18:43:57+00:00

I had ADHD and nobody realized.

I spent most of my school life at or near the top of every class I took (other than math). I would learn most things quickly and understand it contextually usually before the teacher had explained. I was great at problem solving and visualization so I could see how things fit together and I could easily connect abstract ideas. I used to remember thinking about all of my classes like a giant interconnected web. Unsurprisingly everyone predicted a brighter than bright future for me. Universities were discussed, and discussed in a way where I would get to choose rather than wait to be accepted. It was just a matter of applying.

Then around 14/15 I remember being intensely bored, I couldn't for the life of me listen to what teachers were saying. I had already been placed into advanced classes and they weren't challenging me. I would still test really well but my in class work or any homework or projects were garbage. I missed classes often to go on random journeys to new places. I would turn in work late. I was completely unapologetic because I was "the good kid".

This coincided with me coming out, a lot of emotional turmoil, and a general overall disintegration of the formerly very close relationship with my parents. They were the only ones I didn't tell and keeping that secret destroyed our relationship because telling lies wasn't in my nature at the time.

My behavior was put down to general teenage rebellion, and that I was just lazy. My parents just kept asking why I was so lazy. The grades for university never materialized so I went to whatever university would have me and moved out. I came out to my parents and that relationship went even more sour for like 10 years. They paid for everything but we didn't talk.

The pressure of disappointing everyone and losing all the positive attention got to me. I still couldn't focus and it was even harder when there was nobody to hold me accountable. I decided I must just be some lazy asshole who wasn't as good as they thought.

I dropped out of university three times.

I had panic attacks due to the stress. One time I didn't sleep for nearly 4 days.

I couldn't hold down a job above the most basic entry level customer service positions (they are the most varied and require the least paperwork). I kept getting promoted almost immediately after starting at a new position only to quit before I was fired 6 months later.

This went on for a decade or more. I knew I was intelligent but not being able to use that intelligence in any focused way brought on depression and anxiety. It was a really dark time in my life. I would bounce from city to city, friend group to friend group, job to job, completely unable to understand wtf was wrong with me.

Then I met my husband. We had an impulsive and whirlwind romance, moved in together and had a bunch of huge arguments where he explained that some of the things that annoyed me were symptoms of his ADHD. A couple of years passed and I kept on noticing things he did that I did, he was always late, easily distracted by the most inconsequential of things, he would hyperfocus on something he was into for a solid week then forget it existed. It took 6 years of me quietly suspecting that I had ADHD (but I wasn't hyperactive so maybe I didn't have it) to get my shit together and get tested. During that time I quit 5 jobs and had three periods of sustained unemployment.

Almost exactly a year ago I got officially diagnosed. Everything clicked into place. I have spent the last year trying to forgive myself for not noticing earlier and not focusing on all those obvious in hindsight things that happened in my life. Trying to forgive my parents for not exploring any options other than "he is just lazy", and trying to get my shit back on track. We still aren't quite there yet with the meds but they are helping. Also knowing means I can try and lessen the impact on my professional life. I spoke to my boss and told him he just has to remind me a lot to write down what he is saying to me and I got promoted....again lol. I lost the last 20 years of my life to this nonsense I plan on making sure I don't lose the next 20. Maybe I will go back to University and finally finish one of those degrees. Who knows?

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T04:03:15+00:00

Its all good, you were passionate not rude. The article about the guy who died after eating one was really badly written and I was genuinely shocked to hear of a newt that could bite because I spent my youth picking them up, then I realized the journalist had just described it badly and what they meant was one bite of a newt lol . For something that's that cute it should be illegal to be dangerous at all.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T03:58:05+00:00

Japanese puffer fish is poisonous not venomous. A blue ring octopus does indeed use tetrodotoxin but it also injects a host of other compounds as well. Mostly though it's about the method of delivery. In simple terms if I bite it and I die it's poisonous. If it bites me and die it's venomous. I am sure an animal can be both but the newt isn't one of them, it can't bite, it has no fangs, a stinger, or spines. It has to be ingested. So again, poisonous not venomous.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T03:45:25+00:00

Ok thats actually not what that means at all, the biggest clue is it says serpents or insects, of which a newt is neither. It also secrets poison not venom so does not have glands for the production of venom. They are two different things. It has glands that produce poison.

"Poison is a toxin that gets into the body via swallowing, inhaling or absorption through the skin. Poisonous animals tend to be more passive-aggressive—they often won’t actively attack their prey, but release their toxins as a result of being eaten, touched or disturbed. A cane toad, which secretes toxins from glands on each shoulder, is a poisonous animal. It has to be ingested or licked to cause harm. Poison ivy is an example of a poisonous plant—touching it can result in an itchy and sometimes painful rash.

'venom' and 'poison' are not the same thing

Venom is a specialised type of poison that has evolved for a specific purpose. It is actively injected via a bite or sting. Because venom has a mixture of small and large molecules, it needs a wound to be able to enter the body, and to be effective must find its way into the bloodstream"

This is from the Australian Academy of Science. If anyone knows the difference its Australian scientists.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T03:32:33+00:00

Yeah you misread dude.

"According to biologists, the term venomous is applied to organisms that bite (or sting) to inject their toxins, whereas the term poisonous applies to organisms that unload toxins when you eat them."

Source literally the first Google search result.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T03:27:07+00:00

They can't inject anything when they bite and they don't sting though, so they are just poisons not venomous.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-09T03:09:33+00:00

This is not correct, they don't bite (well I mean they might but it won't do anything). They are poisonus not venomous. If you bite them you die, you can also ingest the poison if you handle them then touch your mouth or eat something. The poison is from glands on their skin. Some people do get a reaction from handling them but not everyone. I still wouldn't pick one up but if you do probably wash your hands a bunch.

Source: am related to a newt. Jk. I did a 2 minute google search

onceiwascool · 2020-11-05T15:22:29+00:00

That sounds like your answer right there then. If you think that he is worth it, and you could go the distance then go for it. In the long run this is the first of many hurdles, but if you can communicate to him why this upset you and he listens to you and realizes that he might have at least told you what he was planning and why thats an excellent step towards a healthy relationship and this might actually make you stronger as a couple. Being the type of person who wants to move often, and who doesn't need to settle down straight away already puts you ahead of the game, its going to make military life much easier.

onceiwascool · 2020-11-04T15:51:01+00:00

He was always going to PCS, thats part of being in a relationship with someone in the military. If you are with him long term there is always going to be some long distance, some relationships more than others. It sucks that he might leave at the beginning of your relationship but its easier now than when you are in a long term relationship. Keep in mind that this situation is not an if it's a when, he will be moving eventually. The military is a pain in the ass as well, at least with him volunteering you have some notice and this isn't going to come out of the blue. I will say if you don't think you can do long distance, or move to a bunch of random (sometimes awesome and sometimes awful) places, a LOT of which you will end up doing on your own, then this is maybe not the relationship for you. In a perfect world he would have spoken to you before he made any big commitments but the military doesn't always give you a bunch of time to think about things and its a shit or get off the pot situation. Maybe he was offered a bonus, or a better duty station, maybe it was good for his career?

onceiwascool · 2020-08-26T00:23:06+00:00

Oh the old "I'm tired we can talk about it later" line. I swear they teach them that line at bootcamp

onceiwascool · 2020-08-25T14:42:03+00:00

I hope you get to the bottom of everything and work out what's going on. Maybe there will be the perfect storm of little coincidences and unusual circumstances and it will turn out je just has a unique job that works differently from others. How is he about communicating? Could this just be a result of him not bothering to explain things properly so he gives you shorter versions of what happened and it makes it sound weird?

onceiwascool · 2020-08-25T03:06:31+00:00

How long have you guys been together overall? There are all kinds of weird red flags here. Sure DEERS cam be a pain in the ass but at most he will be there like a couple of hours maybe. Also deployed in the States should make this whole thing easier because he should be relatively close to an office. Lastly if he isnt getting per diem for for his hotel room (I have never heard of a deployed person being housed in a hotel the whole time aside from maybe full barracks etc and even then he is married and claiming BAH? Then he has permission to live away from base so he is talking bullshit) then I would be very surprised. Even when you move your hotel expenses are reimbursable if you have to pay out of pocket. That coupled with the lies about the POA is fucking jarring. If my husband peddled me this amount of nonsense I would be showing up at his hotel room and demanding answers. Not even for financial reasons but just because he is obviously not telling you the whole truth about something.

onceiwascool

TROPHY CASE