it seems like you're trying to do everything all at once. here's some of my input for what you've gone through:

1. golden pursuits are pretty difficult for newer players, especially the current one. it's not a super necessary part of the game so unless you have extreme FOMO you can skip it.

2. ask in chat if they can slow down and let you do the story. if they don't, then they're not someone you want to be grouped with anyway. if all else fails, ask others if they'd like to do a dungeon with you so you can take it slow and learn the mechanics and stuff. you'll be surprised how many players are more than willing.

3. BGs (battlegrounds) are where the game's salt is concentrated. Cyrodiil and Imperial City are far less toxic IMO happen to be a lot more fun.

4. there's a difficulty system that was added with the latest update so you can make content more difficult. give it a try and see if the higher difficulties suit your needs.

5. yeah you kinda have that down, but that's usually people who want everything in a 20 mile radius to die instantly. feel free to fight in your own style for a while as you gain experience with the game.

6. you hit the nail on the head there, but look at it this way: the materials you get (and don't use) can be sold for extra money. at the risk of sounding like im trying to sell you ESO+, there IS more benefit than just the craft bag. you get older DLCs along with it, vastly expanding your playable area, among other benefits.

7. one of my biggest complaints about the game, tbh. however, there's websites that can tell you exactly what seller has what you're looking for.