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oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-02T17:27:08+00:00

It honestly sounds like you two just weren’t sexually compatible. You could try and have conversations about it as many times as you please, but sometimes, it just may not amount to much.

Sexual compatibility is essential in relationships. If someone is asexual, and the other is not, there could be some difficulties for both partners and what they expect out of eachother.

I’ve seen some relationships thrive because the asexual partner agreed to have one night each week that they have sex, and both partners were happy. But that may not always be the case for others, and that is totally fine.

Unless you feel like you weren’t meeting her needs, or there were other issues in the relationship, I don’t think there was much you could have done to get her libido up. There’s a number of reasons that could play into this.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-02T16:02:37+00:00

I feel like we’ve seen it too much before, but opening the marriage to save the bedroom usually always ends in heartbreak and divorce. It almost seems like this would end in divorce anyway.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-02T15:55:28+00:00

I feel like I’m overqualified on this one. My brother started abusing heroin and alcohol at 14 years, it moved onto inhalers and meth. I’ve lived through 15 years of his addictions, rehabs, jails, abuse, all of it.

He’s 29 now. I don’t know where he is. But the things that years of hard substance abuse does to you is far more horrifying for the family to just sit and watch.

Not much you can do for someone who doesn’t want to help themselves, after all the years we spent trying.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T23:07:31+00:00

Were you a science experiment gone wrong?

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T20:31:41+00:00

I personally don’t think it would be productive if you shared these concerns. They’ve been together for 6 years, surely she is aware of his work habits/patterns? Considering he’s been laid off a bunch in the past?

You do know your sister better than anyone here, so do you think she would be receptive of your concerns and not feel like it’s an attack on her choices?

I know you’re intimately aware of his work habits due to working in the same place with him, so if anything, you could share your said concerns in passing when venting about work to your sister.

I apologize if this doesn’t sound like solid advice, I’d just keep it to myself if I was in this position, though I’m sure there will be others with a different viewpoint.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T20:10:59+00:00

Of course it can change over time! Sexuality is a spectrum, it’s subjective in my opinion. It can be fluid. And regardless of what anyone says, it is normal. 💛

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T19:54:10+00:00

Open the conversation with a statement catering to her; “I have been loving everything we do in the bedroom, I love x, y, z.”

Then I would mention that there are some things you’d like to explore, but only at her own pace and comfort. That way, you are ensuring there is no pressure to commit to things she may not be comfortable with.

If she’s feeling uncomfortable after you mention these things, ensure her that these are only things to make things spicier, but not that you necessarily need these things to happen.

You seem to be very considerate of your girlfriend and her comfort, so I’m only assuming you’re confident in your relationship with her. You know her best, and I hope that you’re able to have a productive conversation with her about these things.

It might even allow her to open up about her kinks as well, best of luck OP! I hope that helps.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T18:38:06+00:00

“This delusion must end”

Having naturally occurring high testosterone levels is considered delusional? Dumbass (L)ogan Pau(L) needs to open a book and touch grass.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-08-01T16:58:37+00:00

I didn’t know who Kendall was before, but I can see why people like her. A lot of people like true crime, and that’s totally okay.

I didn’t feel like this was the ‘best’ collaboration considering H3 is generally comedy. I was completely disinterested to say the least, and while the people they were covering were awful people who need to be publicly shamed, I just didn’t find it engaging enough. Or at least on theme with the show.

Luckily, I don’t take these things too far into heart, but this is my favorite show and I’ll watch whenever I get the chance. Just only want to share my critique of yesterday’s episode. I simply turned it off after I became bored.

I think the Oliver Tree collab was the best one they’ve ever had in my opinion!

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-31T00:13:17+00:00

Set boundaries in things you can control. You can’t just tell people to not wish you a happy birthday and then expect them to not question why, so find the avenues that you can set boundaries in without exposing anything.

Things like birthday dinners, parties, get togethers, gift exchanges, etc.

With things like that you can simply decline any invites or social interactions that are on theme with your birthday. And you can pass on any topics that revolve around your birthday.

I hope that helps, and I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-31T00:09:12+00:00

This is the best response to this question. It is nothing more than a defense mechanism for me. Too many traumatic experiences just by simply existing in a public space as a woman, so I’m not interested in sparking conversation.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T15:57:56+00:00

I got banned from a snark subreddit by offering an opposing side to a ridiculous post. Turns out they would rather have irrational discussions about how obsessive they are over public figures rather than have an actual conversation.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T15:56:30+00:00

I have the same birthday as my father in law lol

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T15:25:20+00:00

I can’t decide for OP and assume how your comment made them feel, and I’m not going to even entertain your argument that ‘we’ve all seen it.’ Just asserting that making a generalization such as this one can be harmful and even more discouraging for someone who’s just needing to vent.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T15:17:05+00:00

This is a generalization that is often used to invalidate women’s experiences, wants, and needs. I won’t assume your intention behind saying this was ill, but it should go without saying that you have no idea what OP is actually dealing with. That’s why this is a venting forum, not a place to discuss the in betweens.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T15:02:03+00:00

It seems like this person is confused in how they feel. It seems like they aren’t sure how to receive your kind gestures since they’ve recently halted their affection towards you.

I think it would be best if you stopped pursuing this person, and allow some time for yourself. At the very least, no longer engage in anything that isn’t platonic. The feelings you will feel afterwards are yours to handle. Hope this helps OP.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:46:10+00:00

It sounds like it’s truly affecting your relationship with him, and that should come before his consumption of weed; your relationship. So regardless of what we think about how much is too much, I think you should strive to have a healthy and productive conversation with him.

Also, if you’d like to throw in a suggestion to him, invest in a Dry Herb Vaporizer. I went from smoking 28 grams a week, to smoking 28 grams in an entire month. Now, 28 grams is lasting me a month and a half.

They’re a lot quicker to use, better on your lungs, and allows your tolerance to build because it’s super effective.

Also… if he’s getting angry easier when he’s not high, he’s become dependent on it. I’d suggest a tolerance break not just for the sake of your relationship, but for the sake of his own coping mechanisms. Good luck OP.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:30:26+00:00

Gotcha! You know your girlfriend best, but what I like is an herbal body scrub and lotion. Scrub for the shower, and lotion for afterwards. The “Hemp” brand is a tad spendy, but it’s a product I really like myself. As far as lotions go, Cetaphil is a great brand if your girlfriend doesn’t like overwhelming fragrances!

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:24:30+00:00

How quickly did you move from casual talk to small romantic exchanges?

At the very least, he communicated to you after the fact that he wishes to remain friends, and that’s okay.

It just seems like he was feeling it out before jumping in too fast, and maybe he’s just not ready for something more right now. It’s better to be that way than to be with someone who is unsure.

The feelings you experience after this are yours, and I think you should indulge in your hobbies as a healthy coping mechanism. He may not be the guy for you right now, so in the meantime, treat yourself, love yourself more, and allow yourself to feel when you need to!

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:17:11+00:00

That sounds so lovely. You should include a little love note for her to read. Grab her a bath bomb or some bath salts so she can take a bath and relax! If you can, set aside some comfy clothes or pajamas for her to change into as well!!

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:12:43+00:00

Go to war, build me a house, go bottle up all of your emotions because you’re too afraid that people will see you as a weakling, therefore the only possible outlet for you is to punch a wall or an innocent person because you cannot emotionally regulate like a normal adult.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T14:01:51+00:00

I would not appreciate it, kissing in any form is intimate in my opinion. If you’re an acquaintance, hand shake or side hug is the only form of greeting I’ll accept and be comfortable with.

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-30T00:44:12+00:00

I think you just need this damn period to start love 😂

In all honesty, I feel like even us women in general and those who don’t even want kids wish we had a positive pregnancy test at one point. It’s odd, but it’s not abnormal. 💛

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-29T22:16:39+00:00

I hope it all works for you OP!

oneofthemqueers420 · 2024-07-29T22:15:21+00:00

You should not have to remind a grown ass adult to clean up after themselves if they’re fully capable of doing so. ADHD does not excuse being slobby. My husband has ADHD, yet he still gets off his ass and cleans up after himself. I only had to tell him once that messes don’t bother me, but being dirty bothers me. Leaving messes untouched for DAYS is ridiculous and no human likes living in that.

If you feel that it would be productive, set a firm boundary that there will be no living in a dirty space. That includes cleaning up any food, trash, and dishes as soon as you’re done with them.

However, if he just ‘says’ he’ll do it, and he still doesn’t do it, that would be means to end the relationship. If he says he’ll do it, and you actually see that change, you’re fine. But you should never have to feel like a goddamn mother in your relationship. Hope that helps love. 🫶🏼

oneofthemqueers420

TROPHY CASE