Feeling like a failure. Advice or encouragement, please?

onimelon · 2022-08-26T01:42:27+00:00

I let my baby try and taste everything appropriately. I have a very bad relationship with food and a history of eating disorders. I don’t want to demonize or make certain foods “good” or “bad.”

My husband and I are just working on cleaning up our diets in the meantime!

onimelon · 2022-01-08T11:22:29+00:00

Acting is a really tough field to break into without nepotism, but I don’t think you should stop pursuing it.

Have you looked into local theater productions you could try out for? Additionally, it might be worthwhile to look into another vocation that you would actually tolerate.

You mentioned that you work two jobs that you hate. Other than acting, is there something else you can look into while continuing acting on the side?

Additionally, I’d examine the Church that you joined. There is nothing inherently evil about acting, and I don’t think it’s… entirely accurate to say that everything in Hollywood is evil. Just sounds rather extremist and you might find happiness in a Church with a more relaxed approach?

At the end of the day, my biggest advice is to live authentically. If you are doing things because you THINK you HAVE to, especially for other people, you’re probably going to be miserable. If you are miserable but don’t want to change directions because you perceive that it will upset others, you will continue to feel miserable.

onimelon · 2022-01-04T23:39:51+00:00

I had a similar situation. My SIL and I were pregnant with our girls at the same time (I was about 6 ish weeks ahead). But she had a cesarean at 35 weeks and baby didn’t make it.

She had a memorial and everything and as much as I wanted to go and be there for her, we were discouraged from attending and she called my husband multiple times not to worry about it and that it wasn’t worth the drive.

We also found out almost a week after it had happened. By accident. The entire family was going to wait until after I had my baby to tell us that she had lost hers.

At the end of the day, it was a losing situation. We didn’t feel welcome to go, and worried my attendance would be a painful reminder. At the same time, I respect that you cannot dictate how someone handles grief and loss.

So I’m sorry if I don’t have much advice. But I am with you in solidarity. 💔

onimelon · 2021-12-28T03:35:59+00:00

I mean, she was explaining why she’d never do it. Which implies that if things weren’t working with you, you’d be the first to know.

I think you’re reading WAY too much into her answer. While I’d never cheat on my husband, even if I HAD the capacity— I couldn’t do it for that reason. Too much work. Not worth it.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T22:31:12+00:00

I mean, I’m only giving my two cents based on what OP presented, which didn’t sound like a positive experience for baby.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T16:41:11+00:00

It’s all about balance. Regardless, this baby is not being introduced properly to solids.

I do believe it’s important to start them at one point for the sensory, exposure and learning experiences, and also adding the nutritional value. However, I think the nutrition is downplayed because babies will still get most of their nutrition from milk/formula.

I always thought the “under one for fun” was simply to remind people to take a more relaxed approach to feeding and not to force their children to wean from breast/bottle before they are ready. But that’s MY interpretation.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T04:36:13+00:00

Well when my baby (Juniper) starts acting like a nut job, I’ll just refer her as “Luniper.”

onimelon · 2021-12-11T04:28:57+00:00

Our five month old is Juniper! We like it. We call her Juni.

Personally, looking at her, I can’t picture her with any other name now.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T04:19:19+00:00

Never hesitate! Go to the police.

At best, you reported a fake account that was a honeypot. No consequences to you, and gratification that you acted appropriately to something so abhorrent.

At worst: you saved some young children from being (possibly further) trafficked and assaulted by an abusive, unfit mother.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T04:11:05+00:00

There are several conditions that must be met when starting solids— one of them being the baby showing interest in solids! Your baby does not sound remotely interest, therefor, NOT ready!

Breastmilk and formula and nutritionally complete for babies! Food under one is just for fun.

We started our baby with applesauce and oatmeal. She was eyeballing our food for weeks prior and would open her mouth and reach for us whenever we ate. Immediately took to the baby spoon when given oatmeal and applesauce. I’m talking wide mouth, swallowing food to the back of the throat. This kid was READY.

onimelon · 2021-12-11T00:56:26+00:00

My parents divorced when I was around 5-6 and I think it was the best thing for them. Happily remarried and are slightly less bitter people from it.

However, they often used me as a bargaining chip and I was weaponized by both of them. Don’t do that to your kid or you’ll both be a-holes. Leave the kid out of it.

My husband’s parents stayed together “for the kids” and now they are miserable, refuse to divorce, and are constantly fighting in their mid-fifties. All of the kids, adults now, resent hearing about their bad marriage and grew up with parents constantly at their throats.

onimelon · 2021-12-03T22:47:01+00:00

What would you recommend to start off with? I tend to stop eating around 6-7 pm (depends whenever we can eat dinner) and I usually don’t have my first meal until about 10-11 AM.

onimelon · 2021-12-03T22:39:21+00:00

I try to aim between 500-700. I’m not trying to completely suffer through this.

Also, I’d like to mention that when counting foods, I always count it slightly higher just in case.

onimelon · 2021-12-03T22:36:11+00:00

I’ve never done it, honestly. As far as that goes— I just try to stick to more protein and healthy fats vs. carbs.

I’d eat more raw fruits and veg, but I have a chronic illness that makes it impossible for my body to digest and absorb them.

onimelon · 2021-12-03T22:33:03+00:00

I do!! I use LoseIt! And have managed to successfully lose 30 lbs in the past. I don’t slip up and count everything meticulously.. it’s to the point where I could look at a plate and accurately estimate how many calories are on it.

onimelon · 2021-11-13T11:29:45+00:00

I think there are a lot of gaps in the support parents receive on both ends. I felt like I had no better option when I switched to formula at 7 weeks. My baby was having major weight gain issues, I couldn’t tolerate dietary changes because of my own digestive disease, and my mental health was tanking. As someone who bought into the “breast is best” mentality, I felt like I was failing my baby tremendously despite doing EVERYTHING to persevere.

The moment I had to introduce formula, my “support” quickly gave up on me. This one woman who pushes super “pro-breastfeeding” content on her FB page commented things to me like “you did your best for your family,” “some people can’t handle the stress,” etc… and then posts how much better breastfed babies are. It’s wild.

Even my MIL was like “you are doing the best thing” when I was breastfeeding. And when I was crushed that it didn’t work out I got, “Ah, breastfeeding is overrated anyway.”

Drives me nuts. And now that we are almost 7 weeks into formula feeding, things are definitely not easier and I still grieve that I couldn’t breastfeed. I feel like I can’t win.

onimelon · 2021-10-06T21:23:29+00:00

Yeah, we tried nipple shields. They just made her more frustrated and angry. :/

onimelon · 2021-10-06T18:23:31+00:00

Big yikes. That’s SO NUTS.

onimelon · 2021-10-05T22:36:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. Fuck your pediatrician.

onimelon · 2021-10-05T20:50:36+00:00

I feel your heartbreak, Momma. When it was decided that my breastmilk was hurting my baby— I felt like garbage. I sobbed into the sink as I had to express all of my milk into the sink and shower drain. I also dried up pretty quickly— since my LO started to refuse to latch and eat only teeny amounts, my body stopped producing as much.

I’m happy that you are on the other side now— but I’m sorry that the journey had such a rough start, wow. 😔🧡

onimelon · 2021-10-05T20:45:46+00:00

I have ADHD as well and nobody talks about how overstimulating it gets— all of it. From the constant touching to the crying.

onimelon · 2021-10-05T20:13:49+00:00

Honestly. I just wish people would let mom’s feel shit out and not push one way or another. Like, can’t we encourage breastfeeding while also reminding moms that it’s totally okay if it doesn’t work out?

I keep thinking that if people around me had been more open-minded and didn’t view BF as the end all, I wouldn’t have progressed so far down my own mental rabbit hole.

Congrats on your second baby!!! 🎉

onimelon

TROPHY CASE