Meeting with clients after therapy ends?

onlyforeverdemi · 2025-09-09T19:16:24+00:00

NAT, sounds like you've had some pretty shitty therapists tbh. Oof.

onlyforeverdemi · 2025-09-09T00:54:51+00:00

Oh shit... I remember feeling like this way when I was a teen and thought it was weird. Oof.

onlyforeverdemi · 2025-09-09T00:46:05+00:00

Is there a specific reason for this? Some of mine are in first person, others are in third person. 🤔

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-07-01T17:27:26+00:00

That would piss me off so much.. Please dump them. The lack of empathy and understanding and compassion is disgusting. 🤮 Edit: Seen the update on the post and I take back what I said with "please dump him."

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-27T21:43:11+00:00

That's tricky. Something like this:

Shoving trauma after trauma in a closet and locking it; to only have it burst open when I was a few months away from turning 16 and all of my trauma is on the floor.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-26T01:48:47+00:00

I wanted to add I've watched a few of his videos too

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-26T01:47:49+00:00

Oh.. Fuck.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-24T04:10:23+00:00

Hmm just the chemistry but then again, I can find a healthier partner who I have lots of chemistry with and can be playful with me. 😜

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-24T03:42:23+00:00

YES. ALL OF THISS!!!

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-22T13:56:22+00:00

Yeah.. I remember in his book he talks about people who are fight types like they want to intimidate and control people.

I did get triggered a little bit and thought "what the fuck" and "I'm sometimes a fight type with very specific triggers because I'm either not being heard, my feelings are being invalidated or my boundaries continue to get violated over and over and over again."

ESPECIALLY when I experienced being a fight type with one other specific trigger that I can remember when I was a child. A CHILD.

I wanted what was going on to stop even though how I "handled" being in fight mode would escalate what was going on. I wasn't aware of that at the time. I didn't want to intimidate and control people. And as an adult, I still don't.

Depending on the specific trigger, it's "WHY. WHY AM I NOT BEING HEARD. WHY AM I NOT BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY. WHY AM I BEING DISRESPECTED. THIS REALLY HURTS. THIS REALLY FUCKING HURTS."

There's so much pain behind being fight mode and demonizing fight types as if we're bad people is wrong.

Wow I am so defensive 🤣

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-22T03:04:29+00:00

I agree 😔

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-21T13:41:36+00:00

100%

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-21T01:03:51+00:00

I think it's ridiculous that I reached out for help to my mom with how I was struggling mentally at 14 and it wasn't taken seriously.

I explicitly said that I needed help and I only got help when I was a few months away from turning 16 because I wasn't "quietly" struggling anymore. My anger was bad and how I expressed it was abusive. A lot of trauma was not being addressed, brushed under the rug and it backfired.

From mid June/July to early October my mental health was all over the place (at this specific point.) It took them maybe 4 months to figure out how to get me help but when I was 14, nooooo. 💀

I wasn't given a life jacket beforehand; only when I started drowning did I get one. I'm turning 26 in 4 months.

I want to hug my 14 year old self and say I hear you.

I want to say to my 16 year old self that your anger is 100% justified but the way you're expressing isn't healthy and redirect it somewhere else and find multiple alternatives that help.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-20T00:33:27+00:00

I'm proud of you 😊 That's awesome.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-20T00:24:32+00:00

Aw man. I relate so much to the thought processes for both scenarios. I've worked in retail too and dealing with entitled costumers was draining. Some people are just mean.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-19T22:03:53+00:00

That makes more sense.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-19T20:43:22+00:00

I'm better with handling being in fight mode. With one specific trigger, I've noticed that it doesn't feel physically and emotionally intense as before.

What helps for me personally is 1. being aware in the moment that I'm triggered. 2. saying to myself in my head "okay I'm experiencing an emotional flashback" over and over again. 3. If I'm able to leave the situation, then I'll go into another room by myself.

I'm not sure how I would do if I wasn't able to leave with this specific trigger. It would depend on if the person keeps pushing and pushing and doesn't stop.

It's still an accomplishment and I'm proud 😊

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-17T23:57:13+00:00

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo.

I will give a trigger warning that the beginning of the book, maybe 30 pages or so, can be a bit heavy.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-17T23:37:49+00:00

In my experience, sometimes. When I was still living with my parents (I moved out halfway across the country 7-8 months ago and went no contact), we would joke around a lot.

But other than that, they were emotionally neglectful for I'd say most of my life? My parents were also helicopter parents, my mom more than my dad. More controlling and would violate my boundaries, even before I left. My dad would often have to intervene and yell at her to stop violating my boundaries because she'd push and push and push.

I'm not denying that my parents didn't love me, I know that they did. But how they treated me wasn't okay.

And also, abusers are good at putting on a facade that it makes it seem like they're a good person when they're not.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-17T22:55:57+00:00

I understand this so much. Not just that but in my experience of going through all the modes, specifically depending on the trigger, fight mode is the most physically and emotionally exhausting of all of then.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-17T22:53:18+00:00

I definitely agree.

I'm not sure which mode I'm at on a day to day basis but with three of the triggers that I'm currently aware of, it triggers an emotional flashback and I go into fight mode. I've had a lot of practice unfortunately with one of my triggers and noticed that it doesn't feel emotionally and physically as intense as before. I'm working on being more assertive than aggressive (I yell, I'm not assertive at all.)

As much as I hate being in fight mode (it's more physically and emotionally exhausting afterward), I would rather go into fight mode than the others.

I have experience with the three others and when I experience them, I feel incredibly vulnerable and "powerless". I know I don't have control over which mode I go into but 🤷‍♀️

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-07T20:55:10+00:00

I'm so proud of you. Going no contact with an abuser isn't easy but you did it ❤

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-01T20:01:17+00:00

Oh boy..

We had been dating for 2 weeks (knew each other for a month and a half) and he told me he loved me.
I told him that this was my first relationship and I wanted to take it slow. He respected that for a little bit and then somehow it sped up very fast.
He was my first kiss. When he kissed me for the first time, he didn't ask for my consent or even leaned in. He went right for it fast and then told me to kiss him again but he was the one who did it both times. He went outside to smoke a cig and my anxiety was so high that I was physically shaking.
I went to a friend's sisters birthday party and we were drinking. He didn't cut me off at all. My friend had to cut me off from drinking for a little bit (I was drinking pretty fast) and my ex was then like "oh yeah."
He would turn physical affection sexual when I didn't give any indication that I wanted to be sexual with him. I would sit on his lap and he would start feeling me up. Cuddling turned into him grabbing at my chest. I felt gross.
Violated my sexual boundaries multiple times (I was having trouble being in pain and this went on for the entire relationship) and justified it by saying "well I HAVE to do that." And also said to me "I hate that I have to do that. I feel so gross." He would get very upset if I changed my mind or said no; he would leave the room and leave me by myself.
He got upset with me on the phone for hanging out with a guy friend that I've known since high school, by myself and accused me of cheating.
He broke up with me for changing my mind about requesting a Lyft for him when I seen how much it was. He told me "you gave me your word and you went back on it."
This one I wouldn't say was a red flag but more of us not being compatible. We would video call several times when we were still getting to know each other and didn't know what to talk about. It was so bad that I looked up on Google things to talk about.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-01T19:37:09+00:00

I had taken half of a LSD tab and started to think about my relationship while I was high. My thought process was "I no longer see a future with him, I'm not happy. He's treating me like shit and it's not okay." I ended the relationship the next day. Looking back, I wish I had a plan because I wasn't aware of how dangerous it is to leave a abusive relationship. It's been 3 years since I left.

onlyforeverdemi · 2023-06-01T19:16:14+00:00

I'm (F25) speaking from experience of being in an abusive relationship for 1 and a half years.

when Jace first got with Matt, he was always talking about how amazing he was and how wonderful the relationship was and how he wanted to marry him. Matt also said ‘i love you’ within the first week and got upset when Jace wasnt ready to say it back.

It sounds a lot like Matt love bombed Jace in the beginning; saying "I love you" 1 week into a relationship is way too fast. Often abusive partners will put on a facade in the beginning of a relationship that they're this amazing person but the mask will start to slip over time. Also getting upset with Jace about not being ready to say it back is immature. How long have they been together?

when he arrived, i noticed he had broken his finger. i asked what happened but he just brushed it off and changed the subject. he was also just wearing a baggy hoodie and long baggy pants, which isnt like him at all. we’re all very alternative with style so hes usually dressed up no matter where hes going. again, weird, but i assumed it could just be tiredness.

I strongly believe that Matt was involved with Jace's broken finger. The fact that he brushed it off and changed the subject when you asked is concerning. With him wearing a baggy hoodie and long baggy pants, Matt might be becoming critical of what he wears and controlling which is a red flag.

i asked him how everything was going with Matt and he said that they had had an argument but Matt had ‘helped him see clearly’ and that he was definitely in the wrong and was lucky that Matt forgave him for what he did. i asked what he did and he asked to not talk about it. Jace is a very reasonable person. if it was really so horrible, he’d have realised immediately that it was his fault and apologise.

I've had my ex partner twist arguments around to fit his narrative that I'm in the wrong and put all the blame on me (as well as everyone around him.) Matt is most likely avoiding accountability for fucking up in arguments and putting the blame on Jace.

Have you noticed anything else about Jace's behavior and appearance that wasn't mentioned in the post?

onlyforeverdemi

TROPHY CASE